minti, powered by parents Powered by Parents
First Visit?     Register     Login
 

This site gets better with user participation. Please participate... Some of the main things you can do is rate this advice, add comments to this advice, add links to and from this advice, and/or write your own advice.

  email  print
  report   
IMGP2214.JPG
My children love to chat
Like this topic?
Write Advice
Add to Favorites
Advice that links to this one
ADVICE RATING
 (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) 4.68 (Highly recommend) from 9 votes (144 Visits)

The Importance of Conversing with Our Children

mcm by mcm Young Parent(February 2009) (rank 3rd)

We met with our children's teachers this week to discuss their learning. They discussed what they expected of the children to help them optimise how and what they learn, such as being prepared for the day, having breakfast, getting enough sleep and not running late for school start. As well

as bringing water to school and other little important things.

What I thought was worth sharing with other parents, is how we speak to our children. Children are bombarded with so much visual stimulation and this can affect the neurons in the brain. Limiting time at the computer, especially playing video games and not watching TV especially in the mornings before school is a good thing.

Most importantly, lets talk to our children. Asking open ended questions is the best way to learn about anyone especially our children. If I ask my son, "How was school?", he will say "Good." with a huge smile on his face. I ask my daughter the same question she may tell me what her friends are up to. But I have learnt if I want to know something  in particular, I need to ask the right specific questions. For example I can ask, What are you up to in Maths? What are you learning about now in other subjects?

Conversations and just plain old talking teaches more than any tv show or whizz bang computer game. If you are too busy to sit down for a chat, you can still talk. Cutting up the vegies? Tell your child about it. Look, I have cut the carrot in half! How many pieces do we have now?

I am very happy with our childrens' school. I would like to homeschool (unschool) but if I can't, then being aware of what my children are doing most of the day without me, is of utmost importance.

On Tuesday, my daughter turned 9. I took her out to get milkshakes and look at the shops. I was delighted to see shop assistants respect my daughter, talking directly to her and engaging in conversation with her. I like that she can grow up understanding how to talk to people and maturing the way she is. Children are people too.

Any contributed content above is the subjective opinion of that member or external author, and not of Minti.com Pty Ltd. If you are searching for health related advice we strongly suggest you seek professional medical support. View our Terms of Service for more details.
ADVICE RATING
 (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) 4.68 (Highly recommend) from 9 votes
Report
ExcellentExcellentExcellentExcellentExcellent
GoodGoodGoodGoodGood
AverageAverageAverageAverageAverage
PoorPoorPoorPoorPoor
Very PoorVery PoorVery PoorVery PoorVery Poor

Voting help


 
Add a comment on this article.

 

ekkaboy
March 2009 | ekkaboy
Re: The Importance of Conversing with Our Children

Nice article. Another benefit is actually to develop reading skills. As you read you normally are talking the words to yourself; if you don't speak well you won't read well. For instance a book may say, "I caught the ball" but if the child is not a good speaker they will see "I catched the ball" and if reading to you, that is what they will say.

My son had a lot of difficulties reading early on and had sessions at a special ed class - the first thing they worked on, before even getting to reading/literacy, was oral communication skills.



Reply Reply Report
kseers
March 2009 | kseers
Re: The Importance of Conversing with Our Children

Great article.  I especially related to:

"I am very happy with our childrens' school. I would like to homeschool (unschool) but if I can't, then being aware of what my children are doing most of the day without me, is of utmost importance."

So true!  But how do you get boys to give you much more than "Good" and "I don't know" and "I can't remember"??  My constant struggle....



Reply Reply Report
      mcm
March 2009 | mcm
Re: The Importance of Conversing with Our Children

Just try being more specific. Sometimes they don't want to talk but when they do there is no stopping my chatterboxes!



Reply Reply Report
      ekkaboy
March 2009 | ekkaboy
Re: The Importance of Conversing with Our Children

I came across an article once here on minti talking about this problem; one suggestion was to ask the child to rate the day from say 1 to 10; then you can enquire why it was so fantastic or what happened to make it such a bad day etc.

I also try the leading specific questions eg did you do art today? often leads to no, we did xxx instead, or if a yes, then what sort of art - painting, sculpture, made stuff, etc. I often find once you get them started its OK, just the initial bit is the problem!



Reply Reply Report
           kseers
March 2009 | kseers
Re: The Importance of Conversing with Our Children

Thanks for the tips.  Once he gets going, he's a chatterbox, but it is getting him started that is the problem. I find he won't talk when he gets home from school - but often later in the evening, like he needs time to process it.  Then I just need to find the right questions - but I like the rating tip, we'll try that.




Reply Reply Report
                KathrynR1402
June 7th | KathrynR1402
Re: The Importance of Conversing with Our Children

I often find that asking "what was the best thing about school today.... and what was the worst thing...? gets me quite a lot of information. Sometimes, it will be the sausages and the mushy peas for School Dinners, but other times it will be the model she made in art and the teaching assistant who wouldn't help her when she had a problem, which gives me much more of an insight into what matters to her.



Reply Reply Report
Izzy
March 2009 | Izzy
Re: The Importance of Conversing with Our Children

I think this is also a precursor for questioning teens and being involved in their lives to keep them out of trouble.   

My boy started preschool at 2 years and 2 months old during the last half of my pregnancy with the twins. At the school, they get sent up an activity report which tells the parents how much of their lunch they ate, if they napped, and whether they participated in teh different activities of the day. So even though I knew what he did already, I ask him tons of questions during the ride back home. Of course at the time, he couldn't say much, but now at almost 4, he actually tells me what he has done at school instead of waiting for me to ask him. I ask him things like, "what did you eat for lunch" (even though I know exactly what he ate, since I packed his lunch for him), "did you play with so-and-so" - I say a random friend's name here which works out well for us. My son would tell me he didn't play with so-and-so and only paly such-and-such with so-and-so instead. 

It's something I look forward to when I he comes home from school!

 



Reply Reply Report
      kseers
March 2009 | kseers
Re: The Importance of Conversing with Our Children

Hi Izzy!  I have found it so frustrating that when they start school you don't get that same communciation.  At day care and preschool we got a daily summary and we knew what they had been doing, so I had a starting point for questions.  At school we don't get that - he has to share of his own volition and all I get is "I don't know..."  Very frustrating!



Reply Reply Report
janicepovey
February 2009 | janicepovey
Re: The Importance of Conversing with Our Children

 Good advice with a reminder that we need to spend quality time with our children.

Cheers Janice



Reply Reply Report
emmie
February 2009 | emmie
Re: The Importance of Conversing with Our Children

Great advice

Thanx for sharing xx



Reply Reply Report
Ravenheart
February 2009 | Ravenheart
Re: The Importance of Conversing with Our Children

Great advice

xoxo



Reply Reply Report

Bookmarks

No bookmarks found

Know someone who would like this site? Refer a friend