This is take two of this advice.

WARNING: This piece contains strong emotional content.

These are some of the words and actions that I found hurtful after my 2nd miscarriage. I don't write this to offend but to promote understanding. So here goes......

# Please

don't tell me to be thankful for the children I've got. I had hopes and dreams for this baby.

#Please don't avoid talking about my loss. I want to talk about it, share my pain and my grief.

#Please don't tell me next time. I wanted this baby, I wanted to be it's Mum /Dad, to watch it grow up, enjoy all the milestones, share all the highs and lows that life brings.

#Please don't say you understand how I feel if you've never experienced this loss. My pain and grief are deep and your words are only adding to it.

#Please don't avoid me because you don't know what to say. I desire your company. I need to know that your still my friend. You don't have say anything, just be with me.

#Please help me to grieve. Cry with me, be angry with me. Understand that I have nothing to bury.

#Please don't tell me to "get over it", even if it happened years ago. My pain is deep and my heart is scarred.

#Please encourage me and support me during the next pregnancy. I am terrified that it will happen again, that I will lose this one too.

#Please educate yourself on miscarriages. By  having a better understanding, you can help me.

#Help me to grieve by being apart of a ceremony honouring and acknowledging my loss. ( Some people like to plant a rose or a tree or release a balloon signifying the life that was lost.)

#Please refer to my  baby as that, a baby. Other terms I find hurtful and demeaning.

#Please don't tell me it's God's will, it's not. He never intended for us to suffer this way.

#Please don't forget Dad, he's hurting too and needs support and care.

#Please understand that this loss has placed a strain on my relationship with my partner. Help us to talk and keep our relationship together. We are rejecting each other because of the emotional pain the loss has caused.

#Please don't forget us kids, we thought we were getting a sibling, we are hurt, angry and confused.

#Please understand that I'm afraid to fall pregnant again. I'm hurt, confused, scared and irrational.

#Please understand that it's going to take long time to heal.

#Please reassure me that I am a good mum/dad and I didn't deserve nor ask for it to happen.

#Please encourage me to seek medical help. I'm terrified, confused and emotionally irrational.

#Please gently help me to see that I will become a mum again when I'm ready. That you'll be there for me, to help me through.

#Please empathize not sympathize. I don't need pity, I want understanding.

#Please don't take my behaviour personally. I want to lash out in anger. I see pregnant women doing the wrong thing and having babies. I'm jealous and hurt, full of confusion and irrational thoughts.

Again, this not written to offend, it's my intention that people understand just what's going on in the minds of those who are suffering through this loss. I hope to bring understanding and a way for others to help family and friends who are without their Cherubs.

I started Cherubs as a support network. If you've are going through or have had a miscarriage please feel free to join Cherubs for a safe place to talk with others who understand. The aim of the group is to help get people through the heartbreak and provide continuing support through consequent pregnancies.

Thank you for this reading piece, I hope it has brought understanding.