Playgroup versus Play@Home 6 months to 12 months

With my first son, it was a major event during the week to attend playgroup. Being social at that time (2004) was really important. 5 years on, personally for me, I have changed my mind on only just having playgroup to

go to or to various activities. Don't get me wrong playgroup was and is a lifeline for first time parents. However, you often find that when the second child comes along the family routine has been established and often the days fly past soo quickly to fit in playgroup. Having said that, I actually found most of my close friends through my playgroup in my local area and from Gymbaroo and Kindermusik...and I also found with my experience that most of us had children around the same age for both our first and second or third children so I didn't need playgroup for my second anymore. However, the time may come when my youngest turns two and he may find new friends to meet and play with, and playgroup may be an option.

I also noticed with my second son, that up until 2 years of age, he really loved being at home and spending time with me. I do remember my eldest suffering a little with all the driving to and from playgroup, gymbaroo, kindermusik, health clinic and so on. I think I have realized this time round that relaxing at home and playing with my youngest son, was actually quiet theraputic. I didn't have to worry about different personalities and the awkwardness of new people and other children. I could just "Be" with my son. As a consequence, when we do go out and see friends its fun and I rarely have any tantrums or issues. My youngest loves socializing at daycare and really loves being social in general.

I do think play@home is just as important as play@playgroup. I just think there is less pressure, less comparison between development and your children with other children if you not always there and the focus is home time first then a bit of playgroup or activity.

To be honest, I didn't do playgroup with my youngest, but instead chose daycare as a place for him to socialize. I realized I didn't need to socialize in a playgroup setting anymore.

I do firmly believe from my experience that "first time mums" gain valuable support, friendship, comfort and advice with playgroup in your local area. However, for second and third time mums, I noticed that there is simply no time to fit playgroup in and your network of mum-friends have already been established or are being established as your eldest starts kindy and school.

I enjoy seeing our youngest son just file in and join in on all the family activities and establish friends at daycare a few times a week. I have even toned down activities for my eldest, who is at kindy/preschool to just tennis and dance (which occurs during preschool time).

I guess I have realized the importance of home time, and family development first before the rigmarole of activity and not much together time.

Play@home could be painting, cooking cupcakes, playing a easy version of UNO, playing with toys together or hide and seek. If I find I need to socialize with my friends, I find that playdates are fun and exhausting but well worth it...you find you have the same values, beliefs with those mums, and generally the children play well together. As well as enjoy real conversations and support for each other as you relax in the comfort of a house, even better if you happen to live close by to your friends.

From my experience I have found that the first year or your baby's life is so special, exhausting and wonderful. I think finding a balance between activities outside the home and inside the home can help for a happier, relaxed social baby, and a happier relaxed and social mother. Rather than forcing yourself to attend lots and lots of activities that may seem beneficial for your both, but you may just end up exhausted and frustrated when your child acts up and won't participate, remember a time when your mother dragged you off to something that you just didn't want to go to.

Sometimes putting "family first" does wonders for socializing, as your children learn from the family dynamics in the home and feel safe to do so in the home environment. If baby loves going out all the time and so do you, then by all means keep doing it. If you are finding your child or baby being happier at home you will be happier to play@home. I have found it then makes it more adventurous when you actually go out to an activity or socialize because you don't do it that often and in the end, your children may see it as an opportunity to participate more so because it's such a novelty...

I loved walking with my son and talking about the trees, leaves and going for a walk stopping to look at what things we could see. We would end up talking to other people going for a walk. This is just one example of socializing with your own children.

So enjoy, whether it is at playgroup or activities at home...but if at any time you don't feel welcome or safe or relaxed when out, leave and assess were you are at and what you and your children really need. I always tell myself, happy, relaxed family is a free family....!