1 A good night time routine First of all consider your night time routine, because the process of getting ready for bed will help to start to get him in the mindset for sleep.  As much as possible be consistent with this every night especially when you

are starting out with these changes. I recommend an hour before bed time that you start to help him to unwind and get into a calm frame of mind for bed.  For example if he is playing outside bring him inside to ‘Get ready for bed’, If he is already inside when it is time to get ready for bed he could help you to put his toys and games away and settle down.  This time can be used to have a bath then put on his pyjamas and followed by a small light supper and a drink, brushing his teeth and a story or two in bed.  I recommend that you have set times for this such as 6.30 it is time to get ready for bed and lights out by 7.30.   If you sit by his bed to read the story you will then be settled ready for ‘sleep time’. 

2 Use the stay in the room method With the stay in the room method you will gradually move out of the room by moving closer to the door every three nights.  For example you will start by sitting by his bed for 3 nights, at first you may hold hands or put your hand on his back to reassure him that you are their. After the first night you can intermittently remove your hand so that he gets used to not having you touch him.  Then after three nights you can move to the end of the bed.  If he protests at this, you can put your hand on his back or touch his feet to calm him on the first night then again intermittently remove it until the 3rd night you are not touching him. If you feel by the seventh night that you can sit by the door do this, other wise take another stage towards the door for 3 more nights. Then by the door for a further three nights, then finally if you feel you can leave and go into your bedroom or down stairs do this, otherwise tell him before he goes to bed that you will stay outside his bedroom until he falls asleep.  You will also need to do this in the night if he comes in to your bed in the early hours because he needs to learn how to fall asleep on his own then as well.  You are likely to find that this gets easier quiet quickly. This might seem like a lot of effort, but if you think about how great it will be for him to feel confident to fall asleep on his own in around a week and a half to two weeks, maybe even sooner, I am sure you will agree it is worth it.

3 Be prepared, Tell him the rules before he starts his new routine.  Explain the bed time routine and that he is going to start to sleep on his own and that you want him to stay their throughout the night. Pick a good time to start this new routine when you all feel ready maybe on a Friday or the next school holiday or some other good time for you.  Get your sticker chart ready and you may like to buy him a new teddy to sleep with for comfort and keep him involved in the process by choosing it to use when he starts the new routine.  Consider whether a night light would help him settle or leaving the landing light on and slightly opening the door. 

4 Don’t accidentally reward Be mindful not to accidentally reward any unwanted childish behaviour by giving it attention (please see the guide for more details).  This means once the ‘sleep time’, routine has begun there is no more talking with your son except to remind him twice to ‘go to sleep please’. For example if he gets out of bed, you can re-direct him and put him back to bed and tell him that it is time to go to sleep.  After the second time of getting up I would suggest that you stop saying it and just take time back to bed and tuck him back in without saying a word. Then you can go back to where you were sitting, such as the end of the bed. 

5 Reward his good behaviour and efforts It is also really important to build him up and praise his efforts.  To do this you can use a star chart.  Try to break down the steps that you want to achieve such come in when it is time to get ready for bed, because it is a powerful way of encouraging more good behaviour.  You can gradually make it harder to get a sticker until he needs to sleep all night in his bed to get one.  You can give him some options for rewards when he has say 5 stickers in a row. Remember not to take stickers away if he does not do as you ask because he may want to give up trying if he is getting no where. 

6 Track your progress by keeping track of your progress you can see the small improvements that your son makes and see that your effort is paying off. 

7 Be positive Remember to keep positive and move forward and you will most certainly achieve the results that you want.  By building up your sons self esteem and making him feel good about going to sleep on his own he will start to believe it is a good thing to do and be keen to please you.  You can do this by saying positive things to yourself and your son such as ‘He will go to sleep on his own’, rather than ‘He will never do this’, you will stay in the right mindset to help your son to fall to sleep on his own and be very proud of himself.