I have heard, and I am sure you have too, women stating that they loved being pregnant, breastfeeding was a wonderful experience or you really do forget the pain of labor.  As true as that may be for some it is not true for all.  There is no reason

I recall when I was a young child that I was never interested in babies.  I never enjoyed dolls.  I never had a desire to hold a baby.  Everyone just said that I was a "Tom Boy"  I thought that all the adults much know what they were talking about because little girls were supposed love babies.  Now that I am an adult I realize that I love cooking, crocheting, buying dresses and having my hair done.   That does not sound like a "Tom Boy" to me.   I am just not the baby type.  The site of a stroller does not make me run over to see what is inside.

Before I go further, please let me state that I love my children with all my heart.  I have taken excellent care of them.  They are well behaved and healthy.  I feel the need to state that because people who are not like me do not understand how a mother can feel the way I do and still take care of her children.

I wanted a baby desperately when I was first married.  It took us a long time to conceive.  I was devastated at the thought that I may never become pregnant.  I never took the time to think about why I felt that way.  I was raised in a culture where many (certainly not all) think that a woman becomes successful when she marries a good man and starts a family of her own.  My parents raised me that way.  My mother had a horrible upbringing and she attributed it all to the fact that her father was not there for her because her parents separated.  I was always being pushed to find the "right" man.  The day of our wedding I had numerous people approach me to ask when we were going to start having children.  These questions came without hesitation from our guests.  It made me uncomfortable but it did not bother them at all.  I felt like the next natural step was to have a child.  That was just what I was supposed to do.

I am a stay at home mom.  I feel that it is the right decision for my family with our circumstances.  There are many days however, where I desperately miss work.  I have tried the play groups and story times with my children to meet other moms.  I never felt comfortable.  I was afraid to say how I really felt because I feared that I would be misunderstood and people would think I did not love my children or care for them.  This year my son entered preschool.  I met another mother who seemed to be as frustrated as I.  Her husband desperately wanted another baby and could not accept that she did not want that.  Her son had just turned 4 and she was finally getting to a point where she felt that she enjoyed her life again.  Through many conversations we realized that we were very similar.  It was so wonderful to have someone understand how I felt.

I love my children dearly.  Women like me are fully capable of being wonderful loving mothers.  It is just that we are not "baby people".  The idea of being pregnant does not thrill us.  Sure babies are cute but I am not going to go out of my way to chase down and peek into the stroller at the mall.  Breastfeeding is beneficial so I went along with it but only for as long as I could tolerate it.  6 months on my first and 4 months on my second of nursing was torture to me.  I preferred to bond with my babies in different ways such as just holding them and talking.  Sometimes a stroll around the yard looking at all the bright colors was a wonderful bonding experince for me and my baby,

My point is that we are all different and that is okay.  Do not feel guilty if you are not instantly feel the need to cuddle your friends newborn baby.    It is okay if you do not think that your pregnant belly is cute.  It is okay if breastfeeding your baby feels more like an attack of a leach than it does a bonding experience.  You can still love your children and be an excellent mother.  Be the best mother that you can and do not feel guilty for your feelings.  For you that may be deciding that you do not want any additional children.  If you just can not tolerate breastfeding do not be hard on yourself.  Feel free to celebrate when you realize that you babies days of spitting up are finally over.  We can not all be the "baby type" and that is okay.