Well done for standing out and saying good luck

I'm impressed with the way you were able to write this out so engagingly when it must be so close to your heart! Its like your baring a piece of your soul which is red raw to the healing rays of sunshine so it can heal! People are only going to be the more fiercly loyal to you because of this, you know.

JJ I hope you don't mind me adding this... I thought of your advice posting as soon as I saw it. xox

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Dear Janice,

I have read a couple of your articles today, this one and the one where you met Steve, and I understand now why you are so wonderful on Minti. I love reading your advice and your wishes to people, and knowing how you got to be where you are now explains a lot about why you are such a caring, wonderful person. You have followed my story about visiting my son and his family, and you always have such good, uplifting comments and advice.

Thirty three years of abuse must have been so awful that by the time you met Steve it was not possible to trust any man. But I am so happy for you both, and that you eventually found love and trust in a man. I bet your children are fantastic! Having a mum like you, with so much love to give, and so much determination for them to be kept safe and loved, I'm sure you emparted so much wisdom into them that they are a tribute to you.

I dearly hope that your Mothers Day has been special, and that you are being treated like a queen.

Much love,

Jacqui xoxoxoxo

Great article Janice !! Such a true and real experience

You are so right about anger,

I was so angry with myself for allowing it all and the biggest irony to me was that I went out of my way to con the world into believing my marriage was happy yet all the time I was so angry with everyone for not seeing through the act. Crazy really !!!

xxx

THANKS for the article, Janice... Excellent advice!

Excellent article Janice, it is terrible to be a victim, however to let anger cloud the healing process allows one to wallow in the character of being a victim to the point where they don't know any other way to be.  You call, the universe answers... Holding on to anger and grudges and feeling 'wronged' is natural, however it inhibits moving on, growing and healing.  Anger is poison, it is a huge waste of energy and it ostracises those who would like to get close and help you, it also clouds your judgement in every aspect of your life and disables good decision making.

Such powerful and useful words.  I know many will benefit from this advice.  Thanks for sharing!

Hey Janice couldn't wait to read this article after reading your last one. I also remember heeding the words of everyone around me, to the point where I would stop taking phone calls and making excuses for the bruises on me. When people asked me what was wrong, I would just shrug it off and say "nothing, I'm just tired that's all...". I totally understand the concept of energy draining! I actually first came to realize it when a friend of mine (a male) was in an abusive relationship with his girlfriend. She was psychotic, self medicating with drugs and booze and laid in to him on a daily basis, taking her anger out on him. He would keep ringing me up all times of the morning for someone to talk to and I kept responding to his calls, to the point where it was emotionally draining me. Advice would go in one ear and out the other and I remember looking in to the mirror and having one of those light bulb moments "Oh my god... This used to be me!" I think the best thing I ever did was told him I have no more advice for him because it would be better use for someone who actually wants to do something about their situation. I had provided him with 24 hour counselling lines, offered to take him to speak with a psychologist and pay for it, given him addresses and phone numbers to free counselling clinics for abuse victims but he didn't want to take any of it. It wasn't until I said "I can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves" to him and hung up the phone that he realized what he was doing. He still tells me to this day that he wouldn't have found the strength to walk away if I didn't tell him what I did that night. To all the sufferers of abuse I agree whole heartedly with Janice, it's time to "let it go".

Great article.  My mother is in a relationship that is full of anger and resentment instead of love. She is bitter and angry all the time and she can't see the positives around her. It's like having a bowl full of yucky stuff that there is no room for the good and if there is some small room for good stuff, it just gets contaminated by the bad.

My mother and I do not have a good relationship at all and what little we had was strained because of her relationship with her husband. I was miserable while living at their house and was glad when I left. I was resentful for a time, but finally decided that it wasn't going to fix anything with us. Now that I have kids, I've decided to let things be. It's water under the bridge. There is no building a relationship between us but that fact didn't need to affect her potential relationship with my kids.

Fantastic advice mum I dont have to write my thoughts here you already know them . Anger is a horrible thing .

Thanks for sharing

Love you heaps xxx

Thanks Janice,

Sometimes Just being reminded of these things puts me back on track and I too need to keep working at letting go of the Anger. IT does so build up and quite often with out me realising it...Sometimes something has just triggered a flashback and the Anger is just there....Thankyou for sharing and helping me remember that anger is so not helpful to me or those around me....

Cheers Spinnychic

Thanks for sharing sweetie,great advice that alot need to take in...

xoxoxo

Thank you so much Janice for sharing your journey with us and what you have said is so true.  Forgiveness is so often not "letting the other person off" ( as we tend to think of it), but not letting the hurt and anger eat away at you any more - saying I won't let this have a hold on me any more, releasing it so you can move on and grow and become a new person.  That is so liberating and empowering. Thank you!

very much worth the read by all

janice  powerful constructive advice. written from the heart.

once again you have demonstrated how important ones handling of a situation can make or break you.

hugs and kisses annie xxxooo

Wow, you go Girl!  To the point and perfect!  This is a powerful article to empower anyone that needs it. Love Ya Mostest!

Wow Janice,

You are such a strong lady. You have been through so much in your life and yet you have come out on top. I really admire you!

Love Juzzy xoxoxoxo

Wow , had tears rolling down my face while reading this,... My mother has endured this pain for 46 years now and wont walk away from her marriage and we as kids had to suffer growing up.. Wish she would have done what u had done and was strong enough to walk away...

Thank you for sharing this with us as it helps other woman to know we don't have to put up with it  like some men think we do...

 I fully understand being work in progress, it took me many years with the support and love of my Dearest girlfriend & Steve to let go completely.

To me it sounds like you have come along way and your biggest milestone is that you realised there was a problem and decided to   attack  the problem, well done and I wish you well for the future.

Love Janice  

janice wow

i know just what you are talking about here! i have recently started letting go of some of mine in my life and its working well for me, i am a work in progress and it takes time so i dont expect to not ever be angry but i am managing alot of situations better than i did before and ive found im not leaning on my friends even a quarter as much as i was last year.

thankyou for writing this! you are a very wise and lovely person.

xxxnat