Re: given up on an intervenes drug addicted cousin
anonymous

Question:
I have a cousin who is addicted to drugs. I have tried to help her for two yrs. I have raised her son along with my own two children and i just don't have

the strength emotionally to help her anymore. This is really bothering me do you think I should stick by her and keep trying or do you think I should just try and shut her out as much as possible It is hard because i ahve her son and sometimes I need to talk to her on the phone if he is going with her on a supervised visit.

My Advice:

Ironically, i just wrote an article about my own struggle with pain pills . i didnt go into some full details i will share with you. when i started getting addicted to ain pills my husband who honestly even looking back on it now it startles me what littl
 

e compassion he used but anyway, at yje time my daughter was 17 and my son was 11. my husband got a restraining order on me he was mainly able to do this because he found a letter i wrote to a friend talking about thatthey owed me some money for pills ect. went to court and was not allowed

 in my house. i was not violent in anyway and i dont drink, i stoped driking many years ago. he told my family and friends alot of things that were not true so they would not talk to me either. i am telling you the absolute truth i am not a person who was in denial or anything i do

have an addictive personality and did have a problem but it was very heart wrnching that i was traeted so terrable. but i want to tell you i stayed on the phone for hours everyday trying to find a program to get into. i had evn asked the judge if he sould ereccomend a program and he said no you will have to find one on your own i did go into a detox but you only stay there for a few days and thats what they do deox you then your on your own. i was driving by one day and so my 11 yr old son driving his bike and besides the lump in my throat my only thought was as a mother i was happy he had his helmit on. i tear up to this day with this memory. my advice is going to be very different than you think. what you are doing for your cousin is incredable you must be a very strong god hearted person. i loved my kids with all my heartand wanted what was best for them. i only had his pain pill addiction a short time when my husband did this to me , and truly made people afarid of me and i am he most gentle person you can im agine. i would have been thrilled if anybody tried to reach out to me in anyway. it soumds like you have done everthing you can. it sounds like your cousin isnt trying and has no intention of getting clean .she is alsotaking advntage of the fact you are caring for hr son she is lucky yu are willing to do that.espeially with kids of your own .you have to let your cousin knowall of your energy is being used caring for her sonand your own children. you have to use tough love and tell her untill she cleans her life up you will no longer be part of it .you can let her kow you still love her but will no longer drain your energy. my kids are now 26 and 18. i worked my ass off when i got thrown out by getting into a program fora month. my husband took me back and i have been home ever sense. we have been married for 19 yrs i have a 2yr old grandaughter i also work full time. i wold love to say i never used a dug again but that wouild be  al ie. i eventualy went to a pain clinic got themris ect. my husbabnd  knows i do suffer chronis pain. you didnt state alot if info about your cousin what type of drugs does he use/? does she have pain or is it street drugs? well good luck and take care of yourself!! you deserve to. your little cousinthat you care for will cherish you all his life playmate