Children need fathers. No matter how old the child is or how bad the relationship has been in the past.  If you, as a father, have relinquished the reins of guidance because of absence you need to step back into the picture.  Many men are uncomfortable mentoring, guiding, teaching

and yes, loving their own children.  they assume that the step-dad, teacher or coach will step in to teach their sons the ways of male-dom.

Being a Dad is a sacred calling and the minute your sperm connected with the egg, you were committed to being responsible.  You also have a calling to support and encourage not only your children, but those in the community, to grow and develop their talents and abilities.

Absent-Physically, Emotionally and Spiritually?

In my work as a parent educator, I see many men who are confused about how to show love.  Many are absent in the lives of their children and want to connect but don't know how.  Some feel that because they left the child or family and moved on, then so did they.  No, the child has a hole in their heart for the love of a Dad and needs to know you care. 

The child may rebuff your efforts or act as if they did not care, but they do.  They need you to validate them as important people.  Here are some simple ways to connect and say I love you when you are not in their lives daily.

1. Start calling them once a week. If you say you will call on Thursday night, then do it.  Model how mature people keep their promises.
2. Drop a card in the mail. It can say "thinking of you."
3. Instead of writing a letter, if that is hard for you, make a recording of you telling a story.
4. Send a gift package of little things they enjoy. What is their favorite kind of gum, candy, magazine? Ask them, then send them a love pack.
5. Have a copy made of a photo of them and write on the back why you miss them. In fact make copies of a lot of photos and send to them. They will enjoy seeing them again.
6. Make a list of 10 things you admire about them.
7. Make a list of 10 questions you have always wondered about them and ask them to send the completed list back to you.
8. Tell them about your feelings when they were born. Everyone loves to hear the story of their birth.
9. Send them flowers or a balloon bouquet at school.
10. Say the words "I love you and I will always love you." to them.       Parents assume that the child knows they are loved because there is food on the table and a roof over their heads.  But, children need to be told that the love is unconditional and never  ending.    

Begin Today To Say I Love You

Begin today to speak encouraging words to the children in your circle of influence.  If you do not know the words to say, then get a free book on my website that is titled Use Encouraging Words.  It is a gift to you as you assume your calling as a Father and tell your children that you love them.

(c) Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author. You have permission to reprint this article in your blog, ezine or offline magazine as long as you keep the content and contact information intact. Thank You.

Be sure to sign up to receive the ezine (newsletter) The Artichoke-finding the heart of the story in the journey of life at http://www.ArtichokePress.com You will be sent a free eBook on Using Encouraging Words.

Artichoke Press is the home site of Judy H. Wright, family relationship coach and author of over 20 books and many articles on family relationships. If your organization would like to schedule Auntie Artichoke, the storytelling trainer, for a workshop please call 406.549.9813.

You are also invited to visit our blog at http://www.AskAuntieArtichoke.com for answers and suggestions which will enhance your relationships. You will also find a full listing of free tele-classes and radio shows held each Thursday just for you.

Thanks for joining our community of caring parents, family members,coaches, teachers and mentors who want to help raise a generation of responsible adults who respect others.