Everyone needs to be accepted and valued.  That desire and longing to

Do more with them
1. Do less for them. Help them to do for themselves
2. Listen to their questions
3. Tell them why
4. Look them in the eye when you talk, or don’t look them in the eye when you talk
5. Food, food, food   Cheerios - when they are toddlers to teach them to kiss, carrot sticks -when  they are preteens to give them something to chew on in the car, pizza -at midnight for teenagers. Popcorn all the time-it is the greatest snack ever invented.
6. Encourage don’t lecture
7. Nudge, notes and nod at the chore chart not nag,nag,nag (http://www.ResponsibleChildren.com )
8. Transition time can be traumatic so give them a few minute to readjust to new rules
9. When they are the least loveable, is when they need love the most
10. Show, don’t just tell
11. Talk with them, not to them
12. Model manners and social skills
13. Respect their space and ask them to respect yours. We all need time outs occasionally
14. Hug, tickle and rub—touch with tenderness
15. Presence not presents
16. Read to them, read with them, listen to them read to you
17. Traditions and rituals make even ordinary days seem special
18. Pat their upper arm to gain attention
19. Keep a communication log and write daily entries so everyone is on the same page
20. Walk, run and skip
21. Use correct words not baby talk or “cool slang”
22. Model how to be a friend. Friendship is the basis for all relationships in the future
23. Read the same book and then talk about it
24. Sing in the car (Teach them the words to You Are My Sunshine)
25. Text them on their phones
26. Send them an email
27. Allow them to see you cry and help them name the emotions we all feel at different times
28. Instill a love of learning by asking them to teach you something they know
29. Manage a meltdown by whispering in their ear (See http://www.BabyBrainDevelopment.com )
30. Be present when you are present
31. Quality time in nana seconds-just a smile or pat on the back is often enough
32. Secret signs and signals that say I love you- tug your ear or wiggle your little finger
33. Don’t criticize for 72 hours
34. Encouragement sandwich (See http://www.UseEncouragingWords.com )
35. Dance around the kitchen, if they won’t dance with you, use a broom or big mixing spoon
36. Bedtime rituals like a foot massage, or suggestions for pleasant dreams
37. Timeless traditions don’t have to be big, but they have to be repeated every year
38. Build something together and don’t redo what they have done. It is good enough.
39. Learn something together by taking a cooking class or going to a museum
40. Allow do-overs and ask if you can have them sometimes too. Start again and end differently
41. Measure their growth on the wall
42. Tell family stories and encourage them to ask older family members about when they were young
43. Take lots of pictures and keep them on the fridge
44. Pick your battles and save your energy for something really important
45. Go fly a kite  http://www.PlayfulParenting.com
46. Play a musical instrument together and have jam sessions
47. Play board games
48. Remember what they like and don’t like. However, it might change so ask again
49. Find their happy buttons by asking them what brings them joy and makes them feel loved
50. Compromise and come to a win-win solution
51. Cooperate—don’t compete. You want them to stand on your shoulders and do more than you
52. Say yes more than no
53. Accept their choice of friends and welcome them into your home
54. Expect everyone to do chores and contribute to the family
55. Take them to work and teach them to work
56. Go to their activities even if they are the water boy on the football team
57. Discipline the deed, but love the child. Big difference in being angry at the behavior or choice and still loving and respecting the child.
58. Respect is a two way street
59. Saturday Adventures
60. Ask them what they think is fair- There are always at least 5 solutions to every problem
61. Have a weekly family council see http://www.kidschoresandmore.com for guide
62. Plant a garden, flower or herbs
63. Cook together
64. Clean together-Keep messes in perspective. No one famous ever said they got that way because the kitchen floor sparkled when they were a child
65. Help them be problem solvers
66. Express confidence in their choices
67. Race  to the finish and make work fun
68. Snap decisions can be wrong so don’t be embarrassed to say “I made a mistake.”
69. It is their room so respect their privacy unless the health department would be alarmed
70. Don’t micromanage—have confidence in their ability
71. Say “I don’t know-but let’s find out.”
72. Learn their learning style and insist they are taught how they learn best
73. Eat meals together at least three times a week-bless the food and all the hands that had a part in bringing it to your table
74.  Discipline comes from Greek word to teach and guide. It does not mean punish
75. Consistent, kind, fair and firm boundaries make an emotionally healthy child who knows what is expected and what to expect
76. Always keep them in your heart and prayers. Connect with them on a spiritual plane as well as in  physical day-to-day interaction

Good luck and God bless. You do the most important work in the world, nurturing strong minds, spirits and bodies of those who are our future- our children. Thank you.