We're not very multicultural here in rural Australia, but we do have one Filipino family who are pretty shocked at how bad Australian children's manners are. One thing that hasn't been mentioned here though is kids watching how much alcohol their parents consume. There's a big ad campaign at the moment targeted at teens and young adults re the dangers of drinking, but it's my view that it's my own generation plus, that should be targeted: these kids are just copying their parents or other adult role models (at how many local sporting club events is alcohol consumed - mostly in alcohol free zones, as well? Also, my kids' grandparents drink more than we do). I've learned a couple of lessons lately about my own behaviour. On a recent family holiday I kept all the receipts and added them up to see how much we spent and what on: the alcohol bill was as big as the food bill! And yet my husband and I consider ourselves to be responsible drinkers. This cost comparison would be a good exercise to try at home too, I think. Another lesson I learned was from a few years back: my son's school principal said he had arrived late and said "it was the bloody train". I didn't respond to that as I knew to look no farther than myself for who to blame. I do feel for the mother who said "What am I supposed to do, he is just like his father!" My eldest speaks to my younger children exactly the same way his father speaks to him, and they are all desperately untidy, once again, copying their father. And yet both of us are always reading parenting books doing courses etc and trying to break the cycle. It's not that easy but definitely worth persevering with.

Hi Helen

This is so true, and it is the main reason I feel sad everyday, most of these kids who learn these bad habits learn them from people who don't care because if they did care they wouldn't do it in the first place.  I know we all have to lead by example but EVEN I have made mistakes in the past that I would much rather forget.  I would love it if it was the law to have morals, standards and just basic manners, maybe then the world would be a rather less angry and resentful place.  Oh well, I can dream.

Keep up the good work at your school. 

Love Maria x

Fantastic advice helen as always .It makes you wonder what goes on in these childrens homes if my kids ever spoke like that there would be BIG trouble LOL

Thanks for sharing xxx

Wow this is a great article and it is so true.  My girls are 17 and 18 now and it's funny because I know that they have picked up some of their bad habits from me...but I'm also proud that some of there wonderful traits also came from me.  I really enjoyed reading this.  Barb

 Sadly the children at your school are not isolated cases when it comes to bad manners. We as parents are our children's role models and teachers of good manners....Most parents do a great job, the few that don't, their children became teachers of bad manners to other children. "You are so right in saying Our Children watch Us"

My pet hate is bad manners, rudeness & disrespect in the young maybe because these traits were drummed into me as a child....we live in a small village like community and it saddens ( plus angers me) hearing the way the young talk to their parents, makes me worry what lies ahead for these young souls. Better get off my soap box now, could go on!

Excellent article as always.

Yes definitely agree with you went to the park with my girls and there was this boy playing golf with a golf ball their are signs at the park which I pointed out to him and said you Its not a good idea to play golf at the park the ball is hard and may hurt someone he said I have permisson to play golf and im going to tell my dad I said ok you tell you dad I going to ring the council. Anyway another day I saw him and he was kicking his ball around and he spoke to me normal not aggressive.

I think alot of children who play up dont have boundaries and time with their parents or they dont talk to then and send them to the park on their own.

I agree with people who you have in your life who you socialise with and also who houses your children are going round what are they doing find out by talking to the perants and asking what do you have planned and get to know the parents.

So true.  Great article.  I am in the process of trying to iron out the bad behaviour of my kids caused by their dad- the anger, not picking up after themselves, swearing, being rude etc.  Mostly learned from him.  But now he is out of the house it is getting easier to encourage good behaviour.  lachan is very much like his father in many ways, but for me its not an excuse- I am teaching him to be more like his mother- hehehe.

I couldn't agree more, I love the examples that you provided too, as they are so common... Someone here has gotten a little out of hand and is not too keen about mean Mumma forcing him to tow the line.  We don't hear whining or see crazy gestures, we only respond to polite requests and good manners.  When I go to daycare, (which is rare thank goodness), I ignore any rude kids, luckily they are rare too, at that age, they all seem to have good manners... Not looking forward to school.

Great advice, as usual! Yes, kids really do take everything in, I never cease to be amazed how my two parrot both good and bad things they hear at home, and at school/preschool! As for eating with fingers - unfortunately it works both ways - DD1 can definitely eat with a fork (bit lazy with a knife sadly, prefers to take big bites ) but since she started school she's realised lots of other people eat with their fingers and we end up nagging her at home to use cutlery (not always successfully - who wants to nag through an entire meal?).

I once lived next door to a family where both kids were <4 and the older one (who could speak) unfortunately had absorbed all her parents bad language. The taxi driver taking me to the station was complaining how awful it sounded listening to a 3 year old swearing like an adult. That was 20 years ago. I expect it's more common now sadly.

Great advice...I see it with kids A.'s age as well, one little boy who will be going to school in A's class this September and he was swearing at the teacher in kinderstart.  Asked where he learned this?  He said my mom and dad talk like that all the time.  So you cannot blame him for doing something that comes so naturally to him, he has heard it all his life and its 'normal' for him.

I am very proud to say that yesterday we (my husband and I) got paid a compliment on the way we are parenting A., she was telling the lady who did the read-to-me at the library that she has to treat everyone with respect.  The lady asked her if she knew what that meant and A. said yes, don't judge anyone and  be nice to everyone until they do something to make you not like them.  That means I am not to be rude you know!  (They were being read a book about manners).  The reading lady came up to me and said we have a fine young lady there and we are doing an excellent job with A.  I happily accepted that compliment...LOL!

I was impressed she remembered all that...the thing is, we will keep reinforcing this every chance we get...We are teaching her to respect herself and her belongings as well as people and their stuff...I don't want her going off to school and being one of 'those' kids...we all know what I am saying here (I think)..LOL!

Again Helen, this is great advice and I would love to have your permission to print this and give to A's kindergarten teacher...she was looking for something like this to put into the summer activities folder each child will get.

T.

Helen this is such a good piece of advice, but you have opened my eyes on the behaviour of children at this school. Don't let us blame the children every time,  it is true they pick up what adults do and that is sad especially when most parents  love to see good manners from  their children as soon as they can speak. Then they have to go to school and see some bad behaviour from others. Many of these parents would be surprised to watch the behaviour of these children at school, I believe you ,yourself are very surprised at this behaviour as I am

Lots of love Mum

excellent advice helen

annie xxx