Re: Am I being silly and hormonal?
Asked by mumof2b

Question:

I'm now 35 weeks preg with twins and they're due roughly in about 3 weeks max. My Mum is coming to stay with us on Saturday for 4 weeks, going home on

the 18th July, to help out both before and after. I've now had a phone call from my MIL saying she's wants come down on 9th July for a few days and then once she's gone my SIL (MIL's daughter) is then coming for a week. Now I know they want to come and see the babies and spend some time with them but I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed with all the visitors so soon after the birth, especially not knowing excatly what I'm in for. I have 2 other children but twins is going to be soooooo different to just one baby. I didn't mind them coming down with the last two births but this time round I'm just more apprehensive.  I do them my in-laws dearly so that's not the problem at all.

I guess I'm just after some advice or feedback on whether I'm being silly or not and anything people can add would be greatful.

Amanda xxx

My Advice:

You ARE NOT being silly! It is perfectly ok to feel that you don't want your house invaded by everyone just after birth! Ok, this is all from my perspective and experience and it all depends what works for you but this is what I found.

After our first child we had every man and his dog family wise coming to visit. Now, I didn't mind the visitors and generally they were helpful and didn't get in the way of us doing what we needed getting used to having our little man home. On about the third or forth day home we had my mother, my aunty, my nan (mum's mum), his parents and his sister visiting all at the same time!! Absolute chaos and piles of conflicting advice from every quarter!! My DH ended up having to kick them all out cos I just broke down.

The best thing you can do is let your MIL and SIL know that you would love them to visit but could they come after the 18th. That way you get the best of both worlds. You get help with the twins and the older children spaced over a longer period, giving you more time to adjust to things and get a routine in place. Your MIL and SIL still get to come and see the babys while they are still only a few weeks old and your house isn't overrun with people that you need to worry about when all you should be worrying about is getting used to your beautiful new additions and life as a larger and more complicated family!! If you feel they wouldn't take the request from you very well then enlist your DH's help and get him to ask them to come a couple of weeks later.

I know how complicated and time consuming it is to have a larger family as I have 4 children myself all under 7. I don't have twins but my youngest two are only 15mths apart so I know that it is a lot of work and you need all the help you can get!

I hope this helps. Congrats and good luck.