I know this is a controversial subject and I am not writing it to start any arguments but to give parents other alternatives to smacking.

Let me start by saying, I am not perfect, I don’t have perfect children and parenting is one of the hardest

jobs in the world.  

One thing I feel strongly about is the fact that I don’t smack my children. I feel my kids could never do anything so bad that would make me want to smack them. To me smacking them for misbehaving or hurting someone else would not be teaching them anything. There are other ways to discipline a child, from time out to removing their favourite toy for a period of time. I will cover these more in depth further on. I have found with Josh it is as simple as saying ‘That upsets mummy’  

I strongly disagree with anyone using a weapon on a child, to some people it may just be a wooden spoon but to a child on the receiving end it is a weapon. Most of the time a parent smacks a child to relieve their own frustrations, which in itself is completely wrong because if you are frustrated you tend to smack harder. 

  There are so many things you could do if you become frustrated on a particularly bad day.

Walk away and count to 10, in those 10 seconds of removing yourself things may not look so bad. If that doesn’t work remove yourself for a few minutes, go into another room and keep yourself busy. Most of the time you will find that the frustration passes and you will be calmer. Afternoons are particularly trying in our house due to the fact that we are up by 7am and I have an almost 4 year old that hasn’t had a day sleep in about 2 years. So everyone is a little tired.   I have found if the kids are bored then they tend to play up and get into all sorts of trouble, so if the weather permits, take them outside for a run around. Trust me, you will have happier kids.  

Positive attention goes a long way as well.

If you spend the whole day yelling at the kids then they will just expect that they are going to get yelled out regardless or whether they are behaving. I have found that just spending time playing with the kids with their toys there is less fighting which in turns means less yelling from mummy. 

 Other ways you can discipline a child would be Time Outs.

Ever since Super Nanny became popular all those years ago time out is something everyone uses. Depending on how old your child is you sit them away from everyone else for a set amount of time. E.g. A 3 year old would sit in time out for 3 minutes and a 4 year old for 4 minutes. After the set amount of time you would then make them apologise for their behaviour. We have found removing toys has also worked well in our house. If they are misbehaving warn them that if they continue then they will loose a certain toy for the remainder of the day. I find if I have to remove a toy, I keep it in view but out of reach. In doing this Josh realises the consequences of his actions.  

Always give positive praise when you child is behaving.

If your child has been playing nicely for a while and you haven’t had to use your mummy voice then praise them for it. Tell them how proud you are. If Josh is having a particularly good day I will tell him at least 3 times that day how proud I am of him. At the end of the day when Josh and I are having a cuddle before bed we will talk about how good or bad he has been that day. We always end the day with an I Love You.  

Another idea is a rewards chart.

Have the days of the week and at the end of the day you and your child will decide if they have been good enough for a sticker. This is also a good time to have a talk if it has been a bad day and work out ways of how tomorrow will be a better day. After 7 stickers or a full weeks worth of stickers they get their reward which could be as simple as getting to watch their favourite DVD to a toy that they really want. 

  And finally, choose your battles.

Ignore the small things. If you have said not to something and your child is still asking or throwing a tantrum, just walk away.   Hopefully with all this information you may think twice next time you get frustrated with your children. In saying all of this, when I say smacking I don’t mean a light tap on the hand when you little angel/devil decides to stick a  flat instrument into an electrical socket. But in my opinion smacking a child never teaches them anything other than to be scared of the ones that are there to protect them.   

Thanks for reading.   Juzzy xoxo