Smart thinking about keeping a diary of everything he did and said. Well done on you for doing that. I will keep this in mind. thankyou

Kerri

Thanks for sharing

Wow! great story neet....I can relate to that.

I guess you will never forget those kind of memories....I left my ex-husband 11 years ago now.
When I was a very young naive 22 year old and was in a personal struggle to find who I was and needed to get away from home. I met up with this man (now ex-husband) who I thought was someone that loved me, made me feel special and would take me to a whole other place. I was very vulnerable and believed that he was the right man for me. I didn't know that he had an alcohol problem at first, it wasn't until one night after I came home from work that I found him lying under the dining table completely out of it with an empty 4 liter cask of cheap red wine spilled on the floor. 
Then again the night before our wedding, but this time around he was very nasty to me calling me names and demoralizing me and told me that the wedding was to be this way or not at all. I thought to myself  "am I doing the right thing? or "no...he does not mean what he says". 
I thought that I could change him and that I can make him do the right thing. But of course I was wrong.... very naive I was. Things got worse, he became very possessive and demanding especially when he was drunk. Every night he drank, I hoped he was either a happy drunk or fall asleep unconcious because I hated him being the nasty put down drunk.
I remember when my first child was born not long after a huge fight, he was drunk and locked me out of the house. I had feared for my newborn son because he was upstairs rocking the cradle whilst hold a rifle, and yelling at me to go away. I managed to get inside after it felt like an eternity and he fell asleep and woke the next morning un to knowing what he had done.
We lived in a small house that he built in the bush, was never properly finished off, it was cold in winter no plastering on the walls, no electricity, we had to use either gas lantern or candles and he was too lazy to chop fire wood for the fire place. Usually I was always the one to chop the fire wood even when I was highly pregnant with all of my children (4 pregnancies). The only time he would get some decent stack of fire wood was when he had organized it with a group of friends for a huge piss up, he would get 3 to 4 slabs of beer and I had to organize the barbeque.

As the years went by the drinking continued our relationship never really was comfortable or perfect, we lost our third child, stillborn at 38 weeks, and he never allowed me to grieve. He kept on boozing up, he had always went to the pub for happy hour every night and came home with a cask of cheap red wine. Many times I had walked away from him but he had promised that he would change, the promises never happened, I got very tired, ill and sick of being belittled to the point that I didn't know who I was anymore.

When we finally moved away from the bush and moved into town (after our 4th child was born) I thought things would change but alas they never did they just kept on getting worse. I finally said to myself I had enough and this was not the life for me or for my kids. I wanted something better and more nurturing and happy. So I made the biggest decision that had changed my life forever.

Now my life is fantastic, but not without a lot of hard work. I had rediscovered myself went back to studying gained a diploma, started my own business, moved to another city found a wonderful new man in my life. Helped me to raise my 3 kids put them into good schooling, built a new house and try to be the best mum I can be.
The kids father unfortunately, had moved over seas because he felt that there was nothing left for him to stay for. He hates me for moving on and what I had acheived because he still says to me and the kids that I will amount to nothing.
The kids keep in contact at times with their dad either through email or text messaging and as they get older and he does not see them face to face regularly the kids don't know him anymore. Although he thinks, that when the kids become of age (around 18yrs), that they will turn around and say get lost mum we hate you and we want to be with dad. Boy will he get a rude shock when they don't!!!!

after leaving my ex who I left he still rings me up but my daughter will answer her her mobile phone Sorry I dispise him but he is my daughters fathers father but you have to gret along with them for the rest of your nlif with what I am doing with my eldest as my ex had full custody with an alchol prolem and gained full acesss but know they are old enough to know that what their father is like

my ex is still an alcaholic but I dont have to put up with him for all the nighights he waked up my self and my kids and I use to et him taken away by the police Ithink I have really done really well know that I have moved  away from tat situation it has heleped myselef and my kids

sure things, ,, nice advice

You are an inspiration to us all.  I enjoyed reading this article.  Thank you for sharing.

Great article hun!

You are such a strong person and so amazing to be able to still have a positive relationship with your ex for katelyns sake.

Neets I had no idea about this part of your life.
You made the decision for your family which has alot of other women stuck. It was brave beyond words, and you are amazing to be able to not only do it but to keep the door open for him to still be in your daughters life no matter how much it must pain you.

Poor Neets, you make it sound so simple, however I bet it was a lot more harrowing than you make out... Well done for making the best decision for yourself and your kids and thanks for sharing your story, (and reminding us of what a great family you have too). xox

thanks for sharing.

xxxxx

Your very courageous for sharing your story. It wonderful that you can "get along" for the children, it's important for them to decide the truth for themselves,

Cheers Raven

 You are one very special lady Anita, to write this in the hope of helping others in the same situation, I admire you for your courage and strength for breaking the cycle and making a safer and healthier life for your two wonderful children.

Thanks for sharing!

Love Janice

Wow Anita I had no idea you went through this what a strong person you are! And what a strong-willed and loving decision you made to benefit your children. I only hope that more people read this advice piece and realise that putting your children's safety and future first is more important than anything else. If you can do it, then any woman can, they have no excuse for staying and putting their children through horrible experiences they don't deserve to have. WELL DONE!!!

I am in awe of your strength...(.I need some..)....Well done.

Thanks for sharing Neets. Glad you were strong enough to leave. xoxoxoxoxox