Have you struggled with understanding what to do or how to help your children when they turn to anger or aggression? Here is a list of ideas to help your child safely express their anger and other techniques to help reduce anger/aggression. The list is really endless but here are

Creating a safe outlet for your child to express their frustration:

• Bang and pound the playdough
• Stomp their feet outside
• Go for a walk and come back
• Play sports
• Play music/musical instruments
• Engage in hobbies

Helping your child to express their feelings:

• Encourage them to write a journal
• Explore "feeling" words with them
• Painting their feelings
• Drawing their feelings
• Talk about feelings
• Use flash cards

We can't always have what we want:

• Sometimes we want the sun to shine when it is raining
• Sometimes we want the school bus to be on time
• Sometimes we want to play with the blue car when someone else has it
• Explain how some things are beyond our control

Problem solving:

• Explore the problem together
• Ask the child to come up with ideas to overcome the problem
• You can help them by suggesting ideas
• Find a solution together

Be a safe person to talk to:

• Hug them and let them know you understand their frustration and can see a problem
• Listen to what your child has to say
• Don't talk over the top of them
• Don't ignore the problem
• Don't tell them "it's nothing" - a problem can be very real to each individual
• Allow them to express their feelings

Positive reinforcement:

• Comment all the positive things - less emphasis on the negative
• "It makes me feel happy when you play quietly"
• "You're a very good boy to eat all of your vegetables"
• "I'm proud of you when you tell me the truth"
• "You are a very good sharer"
• "That was very caring of you to think about your sister's feelings"
• "Thank you for being patient while I was on the phone"

Time out:

• One minute : How old your child is for example 3 = 3 minutes, 4 = 4 minutes. 3 or 4 minutes at that age is a long time!
• Ask your child to go to their room and come back when they want to behave
• Time out is better used as a cooling off or calming down tool rather than punishment

Identify triggers:

• Is your child hungry? (what have they been eating? A child's diet can cause a change in their mood and behaviour)
• Are they tired?
• Where does the behaviour occur? In a group? With a particular child? With a particular activity?
• Does this occur with transitions or change in routine?
• Explain beforehand what change is being made
• Have you been spending enough time with your child?
• Is your child seeking negative attention from you because they feel ignored?

Modeling calmness:

• Your child is an expert at knowing what makes you tick
• Stay calm
• Set an example
• Be a role model
• If you can handle your feelings, you are teaching your child to handle theirs

Remember that being passive means "you win", being aggressive means "I win" and being assertive means "We both win."

Use humor:

• Humor can easily defuse a situation
• A funny approach can take away a potential power-struggle which can turn in to anger or aggression

There's literally hundreds of ideas so please feel free to leave your methods here to help parents

xo