Planning a wedding?
Stop!!!!!!!! Take sometime to plan your future!
We can so easily get caught up in the day we forget that we have a whole future. In most divorces it is the simple things that cause the marriage to fail. So for a marriage that is
just as successful as the day, here are a few points to discuss with your future husband or wife.
1. Rules for arguements. How will you resolve differences? What is appropiate language to use? ( my hubby and I have no personal comment policy, for example we do not call each other names or insult each other during a disagreement. If after much disscussion we still differ, then hubby takes responsible for the descion unless it's my descion to make then I take responsiblity, releasing the other person of the burden.)
2. If something happens to both you who will look after your children? How will your assets be used? How will your children be raised?
3. If something happened to you, how will the above questions be answered? Who will help raise your children? Will you have enough finances to cover expenses?
4. Who pays for what after your married? (I pay for groceries, electricity, chrisco, school fees, clothing, Austar, insurances (shared). Hubby pays for rent/mortgage, care of vechicles, car rego, fuel, insurances (shared), date nites, business expenses) How will the housework be divided? (As I am a stay at home mum, I take care of the housework) Who will cook? Do the shopping?
5. Organ donation?
6. How many children are you willing to have? (it doesn't mean you have to have them but a number helps determine your limit) What steps are you willing to take to have children if you can't?
7. What type of schooling do you what for your children? Private or public? home schooling?
8. What sort of careers do you want? Will you stay at home with kids or go back to work? Who will stay at home?
9. What is appropiate in the bedroom? What do you like? Don't like? What are the rules of engagment?
10. What moral beliefs or religious beliefs will you teach your children? How will you raise your children? How will you displine your children? Too smack or not to smack?
11. Temptation, how will you handle it if one of you is tempted by someone else? What is appropiate behaviour when dealing with the others? Whats an appropiate greeting for a friend of the opposite gender? How do you define cheating? What will happen if one of you do cheat?
12. How were your raised? What is your history? How will that affect your relationships? Have you any secrets? Will it affect your relationship? Or the way you raise your children? Will it cause suspicion in your wife or husband? Do have any friends that you dated once or slept with? Do you have any friendships that may cause issues in your marriage?
13. Is there any hobbies, sport, or interests that come first in your life? Are you willing to let them go or choose your husband or wife over it? How will your children fit in to it?
14. Are you ready for a lifetime commitment? What does marriage mean to you? How do you define it? and the commitment? Are you getting married for the right reasons?
15. What about children from a previous relationship? How will they be parented? Does your husband/wife have say in how they are raised? What about the childrens other parent? How will you relate to them? Will they be allowed to call your home? Can your husband/ wife give permission without your consent? What about maintences? Can the other parent pick up or drop of children at your home? Are they allowed to speak to your wife/ husband?
This is a small list of must ask questions. I hope it helps others to have a successful marriage
Cheers Raven
(August 13th) (
