So many people do this great advice you have given.

Great advice .

My oldest will tell me off if im nto listening to her .

Thanks for sharing xxx

Great article

My youngest has always struggled with being put down so he loves it when he gets full attention and genuine interest when he is telling one of his many many many long winded stories

xxx

Really well written artice and so true. It is really easy to get into a habit of doing the negative things without realizing it. Especially if you have a child who like to tell stories that are long winded. But it is worth remembering how hurtful those negative signs can be. Thank you for that, it maybe a wake up call for many of us parents. Much appreciated article.  

I know myself that I hate the feeling of being ignored or talked over.  It happens to me a lot in social situations because I'm not loud, and my natural tendency is to back off rather than persist when someone else talks at the same time as me.

I am guilty of brushing my kids off sometimes when I'm really not interested.  Some days it's a struggle to treat them the way you know you should.  I think that as long as the majority of the time, I'm available to them and give them the attention they want, then the other times when I'm not so good, it won't damage them too much.  Perhaps it will even help to strengthen them for future years?  Maybe?

Great article.

I remember a day about three years ago when Helen was splitting with Jekyll and Hyde, we had rushed over to her place after a distraught Thomas rang for us as Helen was upset. I knelt down on the floor beside her and asked what the trouble was X was there and she said " mum noone is listening to me " I gave her a big hug and said " Yes we are darling " It was then I was horrified at her reply, She then said " I know you are Mum but you are not hearing me " I was horrified and upset as I then realised all she had  been telling us about her failing marriage was ALL true

What more proof can you have than it is possible to be hearing and not listening

Love Pauline

Great article, Mel!

 Everyone wants to be heard, no matter what age!

Listening and communicating with your children, is a stepping stone to a better relationship and later on in years they will feel safe and confident  to talk to you about anything.

Great Article, Mel.

this is a real problem in our house, my partner is guilty of all the what not to do's and i'am at my wits end. I intended to ask here on minty how i can handle it nicely cause i'm running out of tolerance and must admit a little bit frightened in regards to our 18month old son. My older children like him but have given up trying to have a converation with him cause if he's not butting in , he knows it all anyway. Dont get me wrong i love him to bits but sometimes i can see little bits draining away as well.As well its impossible to make a simple statement without it turning into a full blown explanation - like last night talking about the guy who broke the world record for running. I said its amazing how well the timers work to get it so precise and he told me in detail how they work. GEE captin obvios I know that but i dont care !! i just said how well they work. REALLY REALLY dont know what to do any more, I have tried over the years talking about it calmly, nicely, humourously, walking away and not finishing what i was trying to say before he butted in , now i just dont know any more. Any ideas, might get him to read this (maybe)

Very good advice, I think it is extremely important to show your kids you can listen to them completely at a young age as it opens up the gateway for good communication skills later in life, ie teens are more likely to open up about a wider range of issues and ask for advice or help, it is a great quality to have when one reaches the workforce and beyond! Your article is very well written and easy to read! Well done my dear friend. xx.

They definately know when you are not listening especially when they put their hand on your face and turn your head.

You were sneaking around my house last night weren't you?  Yes, I am GUILTY (not so much with Jaydee, as we are teaching him all the cues you mentioned), but with everyone else; especially Stephen, (enough said).  I have asked him to give me optical clues like shaking his head if I do it, or even to interrupt and say 'hey, we discussed this, or hey, it's my turn'.  Effective communication is a 2 way street of responsibility:  100% is listening & 100% is talking, great advice!