We always hear about the joys of motherhood and very rarely do people talk openly about the struggles of motherhood.

So, with my heart in my hand, I am going to go through the struggles I faced as a teenage mother. I do not know if age

was the main factor in my struggles. I have recently had a child when I was not a teen and still struggled, but not in the same ways.

Most teen mums like to write about how they “did it” or their success stories, I have written two articles along those lines myself, Here and Here. This articles main purpose is to give an upfront honest account of what becoming a mother at 16 did to me.

I will begin my story from the moment my daughter was born, Jayde was so precious and cute, I loved her from the second I held her. As I cradled my newborn for the first time in my arms, the midwife, rudely, grabbed my breast and shoved my nipple in my daughters’ mouth! “You have to get them attached as soon as you can or they won’t learn to breastfeed” She said. Breastfeed? I had read about it in my “What to expect when expecting” book, but it wasn’t until I was faced with the actual process of putting my nipple in a babies mouth that I understood the concept. At first it didn’t hurt, it seem to be going just as it was meant to, until 5 hours and probably 20 attempts at correct attachment later that my nipples gave way and cracked! Yep you read right, literally honestly cracked, in several places! It’s not like dry lips type of cracking; it’s like a splitting really bad pain cracking! Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for breastfeeding, and am currently breastfeeding my third child whom is 17 months old. But I won’t lie either, IT HURT!!!

Breastfeeding was just one aspect of motherhood that I struggled with, and it’s a long story, you can read more about Here. Which actually has a happy ending!

Then next struggle I want to talk about was LACK OF SLEEP! Now I was one of those teens that could sleep till 3pm on a weekend (well any day actually) and I did not know what it was like to go without sleep until Jayde was born. She was windy baby that needed constant burping sometimes I would feed her, burp her, lay her down, she would squirm and wiggle (wind pains) and wake up crying, then I would burp her while she slept and I sat there wishing I could disappear to sleepland! Some nights all I got was a few 15 min burst of sleep here and there and this lack of sleep made me a cranky, angry, short tempered, paranoid and snappy lady!  

I cried a lot in the first 6 weeks of Jayde’s life, I cried because I never got to sleep. I cried because my childless friends abandoned me for parties and shopping trips. I cried because my breasts hurt all the time. I cried because my baby cried and I felt like a failure. I cried because Jayde’s dad still got to have a social life while I was stuck home with a crying baby. Yep, I was one massive cry baby my self!!!!

Despite all the tears I still loved my baby with all my heart and more and I still sat up with her at night and made sure she was comfy, well fed and loved! Yes there are so many joys and so many good times when you have a baby, (if I wrote an article on the good times it would take a life time to read) but there are some sad, hard, stressful and scary times too.

I have noticed as an older mother now, with my latest baby, I coped better with the sleepless nights, and I didn’t let things get to me as much as I did as a teenager.

I get sad when I see teens say that want a baby, I did not plan my pregnancy. I just think teens should be teens and enjoy being kids! You can have a baby later, why rush through life like it’s a race. Its not easy being a mum, its damn hard work! Are you ready to give your self to someone else 24 hours a day?

Just becasue I was a teen mum doesn't mean that I recommend it. Life too short to go rushing ahead of your self. Enjoy your self while your young and free.

It was so hard being a teen mum, I missed out on yr 12 Formal, I missed out on being a teenager! I really hope you reconcider wanting to have a baby now, wait a few years please.

If anyone reads these articles and think it would be a good idea to try fall pregnant at such a young age, please please think about it long and hard...Wait until you have finished school, or at least take some kind of tafe or uni course. When your child grows up and starts school you want to be able to provide for them, more then just gov money. Because I didnt finish school me and my kids have had to live on minimal finances and I'm sure no mother wants to or plans to have to survive on the bear minimum? And I know money isnt everything but it does help. I didnt want to be a teen mum, it happened to me and I made the most of it. I dont regret it because I love my children more then I ever imagined I could love anyone but I do sometimes feel sad that I missed half of my teen years.

As I said in my other articles : No its not ideal to fall pregnant at such a young age, but if it happens make the most of the blessing you have been given, be the best mum you can be for your child and for your self!