For mothers who say no to offers of baby sitting.

Although I agree with the thought that I have not got a child to palm her/him off onto someone else I also think that there are times when (s)he needs to be away from me, and vice versa. 

For sure if I were to be in a relationship I consider that a 'date' night is a must for me and my other half.  To me this is just common sense for a happy healthy family relationship. 

Besides, babysitters love making a bit of money  and getting some experience with children.  I know that I have a new girl looking after my daughter one evening a week so I can go to a church group.  The interaction keeps me going out each week, and E loves the fact that she has a baby sitter.
Peace
EF.x 

I have been babysitting since I was 7 years old (sister has Spina Bifida) and took my bbaysitters course at 10. I have 3 children (oldest 2 are 9 months, 2 weeks, 6 days, 6 hours and 18 minutes apart). I often thought that I HAD to do it on my own (take care of the kids), but really, when I had offers of help, I should've been glad, but instead, I chose to say NO. I look back on it now, and tell myself that I was in the wrong. When my youngest was born, my daughter had kidney surgery, I had a complete hysterectomy (4 surgeries), had a new baby and had to take my oldest son to Kindergarten. Had I taken the help, my life WOULD have been so much easier.

As a babysitter, I tell moms & dads that they should take breaks, once in awhile. It's unhealthy to get run down, and your children can pick up on the stress, and then it begins to affect them. Every parent wants their child to be happy and healthy. But what happens if you become stressed to the point where YOU are unhealthy? Who takes care of your little ones then? Choosing a babysitter, who will love and care for your child, IS a challenge, but I can tell you from my own situation, that when you do find someone, whether family, friends or a stranger, you should take one day a month and relish in it.

It doesn't have to be a regular thing. Once a month will get you and your child used to the routine. Then, if you feel it is helping, try a couple of days a month. I have one couple, who had never been apart from their son. They phoned every hour to check on him (new parent thing). Now, I have him 4 days a week, because they are expecting their 2nd baby, and just bought a new house. They find it much easier for them, and less stressful for their son, if he is happy, learning and playing with "Nanny", instead of being underfoot.

Ultimately, you as an individual, have to decide what you think is best for everyone involved.

I felt like this for a long time and thought it was best for Amy to be with me 24/7, now I know different so thanks for opening up a topic that very few people talk about.

After my daughter was born, I did get a few offers from my MIL to baby sit for me or just to have her for a few hours. I kept saying no, because in my "land of motherhood" i thought i was doing the best job to take care of my daughter. But just when she was 6 weeks old, my MIL took care of her for one night as my husband and i went to a charity banquet. It was a nice out, but i worried the WHOLE time, because she was only 6 weeks old!!!!!!! After that, I think the next time my husband and i went out again was around the Calgary Stampede, and my MIL took her for the afternoon. It was nice to get away and not have to take care of a baby. But when you do get out, you worry like a horse.

She wants to take her on weekends(when my husband is working) but i dont want to be stuck in my house all by myself with no baby. So we told her that whenever my hubby is home she could have for a few hours and thats it. She was fine with that.

Offers are good.. They are excellent, Take them whenever you get the chance.

My husband and I live far from any family and certainly far from friends when Matthew was born. So we were on our own. I would have loved it if any friends and relatives offered to babysit... I would have taken them up on it. Being a first time mom though, I don't think I would have left the house. But certainly an hour here and there just so I can be alone and recharge my batterie would have been lovely.

So new moms out there, yes, definitely take the babysitting offers! You don't need to leave the house, you can just take a leisurely bath, read a book, paint your nails. It'll do wonders and then you'll find that you're more calm and collected the next time your baby has his/her crying fits.

From very early on, I made a point of giving my babies to as many people to hold as possible. I wanted them to understand that more people than just Mummy and Daddy can care for them. Ok, this wasn't fully fledged leaving behind, but the first steps.  I didn't particularly enjoy leaving her as a baby with my parents, but soon learnt that she didn't collapse in to a heap without me there (even though I guess you kind of want them to!) and actually had a lovely time being fussed over by someone else. My parents have the experience of raising four children and, I hate to say it, actually have some neat tricks up their sleeves that I might not have discovered otherwise.

My daughter never really went through separation anxiety and when she started nursery at a year, she settled in ever so well and had no problems, which was a great relief as I was working. My son has been left with my parents a fair few times and Mum picked him up for a sleep and took him to her house when I was suffering badly from mastitis just the other day. He cried for a bit but then settled down to play quite happily without me after a bit of distraction. It gave me the time to have a hot bath and a sleep - something I desperately needed.

I agree wholeheartedly that parents need time alone and babies actually need attention from someone else who they can learn to trust. No one goes through life with just their parents and I feel that learning that someone else can look after you too makes school and the like much easier to bear. I have not yet left my children with a stranger babysitting, (although Leala does go to nursery) because my family and friends are around, so it is easier but the need for time to be someone other than a parent is invaluable, I say. Well done to remind us all!

 my aunty babysits liam whenever she can! she is always suggesting we go out for dinner or something soi she can look after him, as she is the only local rellie i have there really isnt any question as to who gets to babysit. she lovesit, and has recently gone out and bought suppliesl ike nappies and food etc. shes actually gone really clucky lol.

Hi Jess, As you know I have been looking after other peoples kids for yonks so it's not like I don't know the benefits, but because of my PND, taking up offers to babysit whilst I did my own thing were a huge issue for me (still is a tiny bit).  So I think perhaps your Aunt might benefit from visiting her Dr.  It is possible she is suffering from some kind of subconsious guilt stemming from the bub's troubles at birth.  This is pretty commons in Mothers who have babes with troubles early on or at birth.  Every Mother that I worked for here that had PND (3 of them in total), I had to over several visits with them coax & kick them out of the door & they have all thanked me since & are trying to return the favour with me.  I really do think she may need to see her GP.  Let me know how you go broaching this.
Love Chele

I remember when I had my son, one of my good friends offered to come over and watch him.  She even brought us dinner and rocked him to sleep while we ate!  It was so nice to have a warm meal like you said with my husband.  I felt much more relaxed after she left and really enjoyed rocking my son to sleep that night.   I think it is important to take a little time to nurture ourselves so we can nurture our kids.  Thanks for telling moms that it is ok to take a little time for themselves :)

As I have lived a good few k's from both parents till now.  I have never been offered help.  However if I needed for a emergency or a personal doctors visit.  My friends have always been there so I can have one on one.

Being out of mums arms even for a little while is not just good for mum but for bub to be socialised.  A friend of mine her baby stiffens up when anyone other then family holds her baby girl.

This is not healty as what happens when problems do arise and for some reason they do get seperated for a length of time.  How will bub cope.

Now nanna's back yesterday I've already told her she is going to be doing baby sitting.  For one that my husband and I have not seen much of each other for a year so we need to be reaquainted.

As my counsellor told me that as a couple we need at least a couple times a week to get together to reconnect.  That can only happen with out the kids around.

I know it can be hard if you especially have a sick child.  I was very protective of my premie of one month Ty.  He just looked sick when he was little.

I was so scared that he would get sick.  Iwas atotal germ freak.

I would love to have family that actually offered to babysit our children. I only live down the road from my mums place, but because I have 4 kids, she isnt willing to look after them anymore because its too much on her. Funny thing is, my in-laws who live 3 hrs away are absolutely fantastic, and are always happy to mind the kids if we need a night out. If someone offers you to mind the kids for a bit, trust me, say yes! You'll appreciate it later.

I like the addage - "it takes a village to raise a child". Children even as babies and even if they are not in the best health, need others to look to and know that they are loved by as many people. I know i found it difficult to let others take care of my daughter. I also thought she was my responsibility and no one else's. Now I have 3 children i can appreciate the break and also can see the benefits for my children as well. My big kids love to visit their Nan on the weekend  a couple of times a month. I love that they are excited to see their grandparents and the feelings are most certainly mutual. I think I am lucky to get my kids back!!!

It is a really good thing to have a little break from your kids every once in a while. We had a lot of that when my daughter was little. People always offer when there is one child. Sometimes the offers don't come when there is more than one child. When the twins were born, we had some help in the beginning. We moved away from family and friends about 8 months ago. We finally hired a high school student to baby sit occasionally. In the beginning, i never turned down anyone that wasn't a family or friend to babysit. It would be great to receive some more offers now!!!

My hubby and I usually take the inlaws up on the offer to watch our son for a night or an overnight once a month. After all the hard work that we do, it is nice to have some time together. We miss our boy so much when we are out or he is at his nannie's overnight...but it is a nice break and we just appreciate having him around so much more.