Help for problem gamblers

I write this as a former gambler who developed and overcame a gambling addiction. Hopefully some of these helpful tips other than counselling or attending anonymous help groups will reconnect you with yourself or your loved ones.

Learn to love simplicity –

When I was a problem gambler it was hard for me to enjoy normal everyday activities like spending time with loved ones or even simple and normally pleasurable activities such as going to the beach or watching a movie. One of the things that helped my addiction was to reconnect with people and nature. I made contact with old friends I hadn’t spoken to for a while, learnt how to make a phone call again to see what other people are up to. I learnt to sit down through a movie and enjoy a home-cooked meal. My partner and I went for walks through the shopping centre, out for a couple of drinks, walks through nature and held more picnics at the park.

Say NO to gold coins – Every time I saw a dollar coin or even worse, a bunch of them together I would have the urge to gamble. Or I would collect them and hide them away in my purse for the pokies. Learning to say NO to gold coins was another step to recovery for me. If a shop assistant gave me dollar coins in change I would politely ask them if they could change them for silver pieces. Whenever friends would give me money to buy them a drink or something I’d tell them I couldn’t accept it and they would have to come up to the bar with me.

Get rid of gambling games – If you want to stop gambling then it’s no good having a computer full of casino games like black jack, slot machines or pretend poker chips. It’s a very short step from playing pretend to being tempted to play for real.

Have someone trusted to control your finances – And I mean someone trusted... don’t just give anyone control of your finances. My fiance’ is in control of our finances. He has a toggle code on his keyring which he takes to work so I can’t access internet banking and he also needs to sign before I can take any money out of the banking insitute. We have a savings account that can’t be touched so I can’t access any money from my ATM card unless my fiance’ specifically puts money in there. I get $20.00 in case of emergencies and bread and milk ect which I provide dockets for. This isn’t him controlling me but rather my request to him so I don’t spend all of our money. If you don’t share a bank account then trust someone like your mum or dad and give them $100.00 or something if you know you will spend it and ask them not to give it to you until a certain date no matter how much you beg and plead.

Find your trigger – Find out when you feel the urge to gamble. What are you doing or thinking at the time you feel the need to go out? For me I was either feeling stressed out or lonely. So I thought of ideas to cope with those feelings other than going out to gamble. When I was lonely I called my partner to talk to him at work or one of my friends. I’d invite someone around or I’d meet them for coffee or something. When I felt stressed likewise, I found someone to talk to about it and if nobody was available I called my counsellor.

At first it is going to be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done. Just like smoking, you’re going to go through withdrawals, feelings of anger at your loved ones who try to stop and help you. You’re going to say things you don’t really mean. After a while things settle down and it’s easier to hear the word “NO” and it becomes easier to talk to your partner about how you are feeling. I have seen gambling ruin too many lives and too many children’s lives. It’s time to own the problem and put a stop to it. By the way I feel this is parenting advice because of the effects it can have on your family and the relationship you have with your children :)