I just firstly want to say how much I love being part of the Minti family. I do mean family. Family is something you belong to and are part of and it is part of you. I know that sounds really soppy but t is how I feel. ONe of

the greatest assets in my oppinion is that oppinnions count and can be really helpful. Now, OPPINION that's a word I want to stress. We all have an oppinion and sometimes we REALLY need and appreciate the oppinions. Not all of us are lucky enough to have our own Mum close by to help us out in times of need. Some of us may rather not even ask our Mum because we may have a mum who thinks it should be her way or NO way. I'm sure your already getting where I'm going with this, I know I tend to go off track and ramble a bit. Sorry it's who I am. Advice is great and for some it will be spot on and just what they need to hear and for others well it might be for want of a better description a load of poppycock or codswallop or however the saying goes. I found right from my younger years of being a mum the best thing to do when someone gave you advise was listen to what they had to say. Take it all in and either follow it to the letter, or take part of it, or take none of it. But at the end of the day your the Mum or Dad and really it's what best for you and your family that counts. If there's anything I've learnt that counts for much over my 27 years of being a parent is that we all do and see things in our special way. There are no set in concrete rules on how to be a parent. No instruction manual comes out with your wonderful bundle of joy. And even if one did each model has there own special features.

I have to tell you the day the penny dropped for me about listening to advise, smiling and then making up your own mind about whats right for you. My first born Daniel came along when I was just 18 years and four months old. I reackoned I knew everything, how many 18 year olds, don't (yeah right). Truth is I knew nothing much about babies and was in for a very big awakening. Hey they come first in an equation and rightly so, I am not complaining I wouldn't change a thing. Anyway I decided that GOD to me was the clinic sister. If she said jump I'd ask how high. I mean they knew everythink about babies right. Now Daniel had cloth nappies, hey no way could I afford cloth nappies (that's another story) anyway as you can image he being my only one, was my world. Like most first born and everyone after is really. Anyway I already had a few friend that lived close by with children, most of them a few years older than myself. So I would watch and learn how they did things and always always follows GOD clinic sisters advise to the letter. I remember one day nearly vomitting cooking fresh brains bought from the butcher just because it was in one of little booklets they gave out, Your baby 6-12 months or somethink like that. And the clinic sister said it would be good for him, so I did it. JUst once by the way.

These booklets were my handbook and what they said is how things should be, YEAH RIGHT. Daniel always followed me everywhere in our little state housing commission flat. Even when I would go to the toilet. The toilet in this flat was absolutley huge. I had this little low chair that someone had given to me and it doubled as a potty chair it was made by steelcraft if my memory serves me correct. As I had a highchair I decide to put it into the toilet to use it as a potty. At around 9 months old, often when I went to the toilet and my shadow was behind me (Daniel) I would take of his nappy and sit him on the pottychair which by the way had a tray on the front. Which I had a book or toy sitting on. 9 out of 10 times can you guess what happened. Yes that's right like most boys do the minute you take off the nappy they wee. And I would make funny excited faces at Daniel when this happened. An exclaim in a happy voice OHHHH all the while smiling at him. Of course I wasn't really toilet training him just saving myself a bit of washing, not that I knew that back then. How one one child give such an amount of washing was amazing to me. So I figured each time I could save that bit  of washing it was worth it, not just in time but  money which was so tight for Frank my first husband who was just a 17 year old kid himself (another story). For Daniel It was just another game he loved playing with Mum. Of course in my eyes I had decided that I was starting toilet training and couldn't wait to tell the Clinic sister on my next visit. BIG mistake, I got in so much trouble from a lady who I had on this pedistal which I quickly knocked her off, let me tell you.

From that day on I decided I would listen to advise and make up my own mind. She told me I was harming him and he couldn't understand etc. etc. And whilist she was probably right about some of it. In my mind I never made him sit there until he went. I never even made him sit on the potty, he loved it was just a game, and I saved washing. The end result to this game was that he was trained fully No night time nappies by 18 months old.He would come over to me crawling when he first did it and pull at my skirt and he would make faces and grunt at me , I knew he wanted to go to the toilet, I would take hime and he'd go. It was really funny to see.  I tried the same thing two years later with Jess and it never worked, she was still peeing her pants sometimes at 4. Natalya sat over the toilet sometimes from 6 months of age, if she'd been asleep for a long time and was still dry, hey I'd seize the opportunity and sit her over the toilet and she'd go, usually . And I know how crazy it sounds but hey It was me who had to wash the nappies not anyone else. I have had a few people give me a hard time over it. But at the end of the day your kids are your kids and you should bring them up your way. As long as what your doing gives them no harm it's really no one elses descision. By the way Nataya was trained at around two and Ben not till he was around three but he had problems with his bowel after that and does now and he's 12, it's medical and nothing to do with toilet training.

Some advise I have had especially from older ladies that I thought, was just old wives tales, really worked. I remember having really agonisingly bad mastitis with Natalya my third child and third to breastfeed. Never had a problem before and thankfully never again just that once. Another clinic sister told me to buy a cabbage and put it in the fridge, then peel off the leaves and place them on my breasts for comfort. I thought it sounded like a lot of nonsense until after a couple of days of pain, and only being able to feed from one side. I sent Vic out for a cabbage, should have listened, sooner. Oh what a relief the cabbage leaves bought. 

I reackon when I write an article on Minti if just one person takes something from it, then it was worth doing. And if not maybe the person who needs to read it, just hasn't yet. We should never refrain from giving advice unless it's negative or hurtful. And lastly what right for you may not be right for someone else and if we be respectful of that we will be ok. And whilist Minti has this great opportunity so people who are reading the advise are choosing to do so because they want to, in real life situations we need to be sure that the person wants to hear advise before you make the step of telling. Because if you tell someone especially a new Mum how you think something should be, it could be taken as critisism, which is they last thing they may need. You have to really tread carefully and look for the signs, do they want your oppinnion or not if the answers not, then don't give it.

Advice is wonderful to get and to give as long as it's wanted and needed. I'm sorry if this ADVICE on Advice has been long winded, it's just me. Hope that you remember the most important message in this being, Listen, Smile, then make up your own mind on how it should be. And if it doesn' t then you try, try, try again until you find the right answer for you.

         P.S My reference to the clinic sister I mean no offence to clinic sisters out there, you do a fantastic and necessary job for Mum's all over the world.