Depression is terrible

For a long time I thought I was mentally ill, I remember feeling nothing but complete relief when the doctor told me I wasn't having a breakdown I was in fact depressed because of the situation I was living in

For months I couldn't function at all, even now I get nightmares as I remember sitting in a chair wrapped in blankets, zoning out of all around me as I sat in the chair rocking back and forward in some kind of comfort finding emotion.

No one knows what it is like unless they have had it. Its nothing to do with feeling sorry for yourself is it!!!!

Well done for writing this, its a great article

xxx

Depression is real and is a medical problem and also a mental health problem as I have suffered depression along with OCD and paranoid schizophrenia all at the same time. Depression is terrible, at the end of depression looms suicide, it's just waiting there for you, like a black dog ready to get you, waiting to devour you. I know having attempted suicide three times when I was at my worst, once by trying to hang myself, once by slashing my wrists but the knife wasn't sharp enough and once by almost walking into a moving bus but at the last second I pulled back instead of taking that one extra tiny wee little step forward. I used to walk near the edge of the railing at the shopping centre on the top level looking over the railing at the ground floor far below me trying to decide where I wanted to land after jumping from the level I was on for I didn't want to land on anyone and kill them, you see. I even started throwing away essential medicine that if i did not take I would have had a slow but certain death. That too was a form of suicide for without that medication my body would have shut down, gone into a coma and then death would inevitably have followed. My wife started hiding my medicine from me so i couldn't throw it out anymore and she hid it well as I turned the place upside down looking for it so I could throw it out again. She started making sure I took it by handing me the medicine to take and watching me take it and then hiding it when I was not there to see where the hiding place was.  But none of the times I tried suicide or thought about it was my time to die and so I am a suicide survivor.

You can't do it alone when you have depression, you can't just snap out of it. You stop functioning, you stop showering, you stop looking after yourself,  and if you have other mental illnesses such as mine than you're basically in deep trouble. You need medication and counselling and let's not forget your family as they suffer along with you.They need help as well lest your depression drag them down too. My wife was within a hair's breadth of becoming depressed herself because of me and she had to put on a brave front to the world when all the time she was at work she wondered if she would come home and find that my latest suicide attempt had worked and she would find me dead. I even got knocked back for extra life insurance cover as I was a suicide risk as I told them I had tried to commit suicide about a fortnight before.

So why am I still alive? Medication saved me along with help from my local doctor, my psychologist., my pastor and his wife, my wife, especially my wife for she stuck by me even in the worst of times when my paranoid schizophrenia made me suspicious of my medication, of my doctor, of my neighbours, of my psychiatrist, of myself, of the local mental health team which sadly I did not go to and even of my wife herself. There was also counselling for both my wife and myself together, my pet cats to cuddle and the love of my children, especially my son and of course there was time, let's not forget time for as time went  by the urgency and the supposed need and the urge to commit suicide lessened to zero. There was also my Christian faith which was a comfort, when I thought that all was lost, when I was in the grip of the most intense paranoia schizophrenia episode and the depression was hanging around my head like a noose that was already tight, there my Lord and my God was with me, watching over me for it was not my time to die. I did a lot of praying and soul searching.

So today I walk this earth, still on medication, still seeing my psychiatrist, still under my doctor's care, still a Christian but most of all still married to the most wonderful woman I ever met and I still am a father to my two children, it's been a rough time for all the family but the rest of our life is ahead of us and it would have been a great loss to my family if the black dog of depression had devoured me resulting in death by suicide, making my wife into a widow and my children fatherless.My wife is the glue that kept my family together, and that glue is love.

So what can I say, seek professional help and concentrate on keeping alive, take your medication, don't let that black dog of depression win, stay alive for while there is life there is hope and there is love.

Thank you for sharing...

Great Advice ,. thank you for sharing this with us all..

xx

depression is a real killer adn even to this day I suffer with it. it is sad that ppl dont get help or it results in suicide.

great advice hun. xxxxxxxxx

 You are living proof that life can be enjoyed, with the right diagnosis and medication.

A article written about  personal experience has a greater impact in reaching others, I feel!

Janice  xxxx

 Well done for sharing your story sweetie. I am proud of you honey, you are doing great!

luv ya xoxo

Depression is REAL and it's so cool that one of the happiest most positive minti chicks admits to having down time!

xoxoxo mel

I am a believer in that Depression is a true medical problem.

I suffered from heavy depression for many, many years (not going into my story right now, maybe another time). In the end, I began taking extremely high doses of Fish oil.. I was taking 4 capsules in the morning, and 4 in the evening. I did this for about a month and eased back to just two a day.

I have been doing this for nearly 12 years and so far so good for me. I remain quite calm these days, feel quite balanced and don't suffer from heavy depression any longer. Yes I still have my flat days, often feeling quite glum, but bounce back without medication very quickly. The days I wake up feeling flat, I usually take 3 capsules in the morning and 3 in the evening.

For me, High doses of fish oil have kept me anti depressant free for many good years now.

I must add though, high doses of high quality fish oil will help a lot of people, but make sure you don't throw away medications without your doctors consent.