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"Almost 90 percent of the teens who use drugs also do other things that put them or those around them at risk for serious harm, including drinking heavily, fighting, carrying weapons, and having unsafe sex." (Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center) During my 22 years counseling children and families, I
experienced a similar snapshot with troubled teens and their families. . Parenting at the speed of life just didn't work.
Parents, don't cringe at this news. Instilling values from toddler to teens is easier than you think. Let's find out how from an expert.
Recently, I spoke with my good friend, Dr. Carol Eikleberry of CreativeCareers.com. Dr. Carol is a school psychologist. I asked her, "What can parents do to instill the right values in their kids?" Here is her advice.
"To be a successful parent means taking the time to pay attention to your children." That's it in a nutshell. Slow down and pay attention to your children. It's the best way to help your kids choose the right values.
Case in point, everyday Dr. Carol tests and evaluates the children of parents who abuse drugs, alcohol, their kids, and become violent at home. She sees the toll on their kids and on their kids' teachers and classmates when parents chase the wrong values.
Wrong values for parents:
- Seeking solutions in drugs and alcohol
- Seeking solutions in self-absorption and affairs
- Seeking solutions with yelling, hurting, and violent tantrums
Dr. Carol's tips for parenting with the right values:
- Help your children deal with their emotions..
- Guide your children in their social relationships.
- Support your children academically.
- Challenge your children to be better people.
- Pay attention to your children's needs and talents.
In short, she wants parents to recognize that their kids exist. "The school cannot do what the parents need to do," she says. How can you stop parenting at the speed of life?
- Decide to slow down.
- Pay attention to your kids.
- Practice Dr. Carol's parenting tips.
When you do, you'll be teaching your kids to chase the right values. Your kids will be glad you did because you'll be chasing the right values too.
About the Author
Jean Tracy, MSS, Edmonds, WA, USA
More Details about Building Character in Kids here. Jean Tracy, MSS, "Granny Jean" publishes "Tips and Tools for Character Builders, her Free top-rated Parenting Newsletter. Subscribe at her web site http://www.KidsDiscuss.com and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids.
Treat your children to Granny Jean's Parent Affirmations: 75 to Build Character in Kids at www.KidsDiscuss.com
Jean Tracy,MSS, Northwest author and speaker, is a former teacher, probation officer, and child/family counselor.
(August 2006) (
