Domestic violence and its impact on children

 

I recently attended a brilliant information session through work about domestic violence and its impact on children.  It was presented by a senior and very experienced social worker.  Working with children every day, I need to be aware of

all the issues that have a potential to impact on development, behaviour, and parental concerns.  I found the session very informative and interesting, hence I thought I would share some of this information from my notes taken on the day, in the hope that it may encourage those in a DV situation to take steps to get help and get out, and how to help their children.

 

Trying to protect the children

Some parents feel that because a child is not witnessing any violent episodes that the child will be adequately protected and not be negatively impacted.  However, children are surprisingly intuitive and will be on high alert if they feel something is wrong in the house.  They know when mum is walking on eggshells, when dad is angry.  Hearing the violence may be worse than visualising the violence.  Children have wild imaginations, and when they hear bangs from the other side of the house, mum crying and wake to find blood spattered in the kitchen, what they imagine may be much worse than the reality (and the reality is certainly bad enough!).  They begin to monitor family emotions, their environment and be on high alert in preparation for the next episode of violence.

 

Physiological response to DV

  When experiencing stress, the body either goes into a protective fight/flight mode or freeze/surrender mode.  The 'fight or flight' response is due to the body releasing adrenalin.  It is a primitive response that allows increased blood flow to the muscles so we may run away from or fight off threats and predators.  Adrenalin has many effects on the body.  Blood flow redirects from internal organs.  During a life threatening situation, the body has no need or use for digestion.  During fear there is an urge to evacuate the bowels, nausea and a feeling of needing to urinate.  The body wants to empty out in order to redirect energy away from these body systems and ensure the muscles required for self preservation are fuelled.  This physiological response is learned and ingrained in the child living with domestic violence, and any future, non DV related stress will also have the same effect due to the brains ability to short cut emotional responses (as described below in learning ability).  The child growing up in an abusive household may be prone to tummy aches, nausea, bedwetting, and soiling, not because they are acting out, but because of a real physiological response causing physical symptoms.

Young babies growing up in an environment of abuse will experience the freeze/surrender response to stressful situations (and this may be as benign as feeling separation anxiety or stranger danger).  I can liken this to a deer in headlights type situation. As a baby is not developmentally able to run away, there is no benefit in the body redirecting blood flow to extremities and limb muscles.  It is more useful for their bodies to emotionally shut down.  The baby becomes withdrawn and emotionally unresponsive.  Blood flow slows and redirects away from the extremities.  This is a primitive response caused by noradrenalin, so that if a predator with big scary teeth gets a hold of the baby, he will be less likely to bleed to death and have a greater chance of surviving. The younger the child, the more likely the child will have a freeze/surrender response to stress.  Boys are more likely to have a fight/flight response, girls are more likely to have a freeze/surrender response.

  After episodes of stress for anyone (be it an actual DV event, a loud noise, bang, yell, cry, social contact with a stranger), when these above physiological effects have occurred, it is common to feel tired, emotional and have a decreased ability to concentrate.  This leads me on to the impact of DV on learning abilities.

 

 

 

Learning ability

 If you think about times when you are stressed or in a high pressure situation, it can be hard to think, problem solve and act rationally.  Unless it is a situation you have experienced many times before and have learned the way to deal with it through practice and repetition.  These are the short cuts the brain makes when learning.  The brain creates goat tracks when learning new things so that we don't have to repeatedly process the same skill over and over.  Like when you drive home from work and forget how you got home, because you have been on autopilot.  The brain does the same thing with emotions.  Children growing up in violent households will goat track their emotional pathways.  Any stressful situation or situation involving fear is likely to be exaggerated and be fast tracked into a hyperactive and hypervigilant response.  Being on high alert is not just a behaviour for the home, this is a learned behaviour that children of DV apply to all situations and all environments, including school.  They are constantly on alert for the next threat and will find it hard to concentrate and hence learn new things. 

  When children are stuck in the emotional section of their brain (the limbic system), with fast track responses relating to hormones vital for self preservation, it's difficult for the brain to be able to move past the life preserving functions to be able to develop the less required cognitive functions.  These cognitive functions include speech and language, impulse control and social skills.  Hence children may have difficulties with academic learning, not reach their full intellectual potential, have difficulty making friends and act impulsively or even dangerously.

  Children tend to resolve trauma either by acting it out or through their dreams.  Children experiencing issues with their behaviour have fewer opportunities to learn new things, and children who suffer from nightmares may experience sleep problems and an un-rested brain is also less capable of learning.

  Physical symptoms such as nausea, abdominal pain, diarrhoea (as described previously) may cause the child to have time off school, again preventing opportunities to learn.

  Being that children growing up with DV are more likely to experience concentration issues, learning difficulties and behavioural problems, teachers may be inclined to place these so called problematic children at the front of the class for closer supervision and control of the child.  In many situations, this may actually worsen the behaviours and decrease concentration further.  The DV child is naturally on high alert and needs to know what is going on around him.  This child placed at the front of the class will spend the rest of the day trying to see what is going on with the rest of the class and have more difficulty assessing the threats in his environment.  This issue may be resolved to some extent by allowing the child to sit at the back of the class, where he may feel safer and allow him to better concentrate.

 

Behaviour

Children are naturally egocentric, that is, they feel world revolves around them. Any issues in the household, children will automatically attribute to being their own fault, and interpret it because they've been naughty, or mum and dad are angry with them, even when it is nothing to do with the child.  They feel a constant reinforcement and learn that bad stuff happens, nobody likes them and its all their fault in all situations of life.  They pay attention to all the negatives in any environment or social situation.  Self esteem is hence greatly affected.  Situations are often misinterpreted.  An example our social worker used was of a group of children who had experienced DV, together in a therapy session.  As the group were sitting down together doing some art therapy, one little girl needed to use the toilet.  She got up, ran past another young boys' chair, tripped on the chair and hit her head on the door frame.  As this poor girl is crying and bleeding, the young boy who's chair she tripped on became very upset and complained that she bumped him on purpose so that he would ruin his picture.  Although the egocentric response is normal in young children (and then again in teenagers as a part of normal emotional development), most normal developing young children would have found some sense of compassion in this particular situation and not feel that the world was so against him.

  Children growing up in DV households very quickly shift from hypoactive to hyperactive behaviour if a stressful stimulus is experienced.  These behaviours may be likened to ADHD.  DV children may be diagnosed as having ADHD, be placed on medication to control their behaviour.  Unfortunately, although suppressing negative behaviours, this does not give the child opportunity to learn accepted emotional responses.  Children who have been chemically restrained with dexamphetamines are now growing up and entering college, and describe having difficulties socialising with other students and issues learning.  A more successful treatment would be to remove the child from the DV situation, provide behavioural therapy and a safe, secure, routine and predictable environment.

  Some children in DV situations will have a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder response. 

  Some children respond to DV by learning that in order to survive society, he must be the biggest and scariest so that no one may hurt him.  This leads to over-reaction in social situations, putting up a wall and potential to be a "bully".

 

DV in pregnancy

Babies in utero/ fetuses are also negatively affected by DV.  Every time an episode of DV occurs, he will hear the sounds and experience the flood of stress chemicals released into the mothers blood stream as they cross the placental barrier.  Exposure to these stress chemicals can have a profound effect on the development of the brain and shape future behaviours and response to stressful situations after birth.  Babies who have experienced DV in utero, once born, are not as responsive to positive interactions and social stimulation, become easily withdrawn, and have an exaggerated startle response when feeling stressed.    

 

how to help children of domestic violence

It is helpful for these children to learn how to respond to high stress situations.  This requires repetition and practice of a particular behavioural response.  It will help them to cope in everyday situations of stress.  Children of DV require security, a safe environment and thrive on routines.  It usually takes well over a year to several years of being in such an environment before behavioural changes are noticed.  It takes a lot of time, perseverance, patience and love to help a child recover from DV.  Child Protection authorities take domestic violence very seriously because of the above explained effects on the child, even if the child is not being directly abused.  Mandated notifiers are required to report domestic violence to child protection authorities.  Obviously it is a high stress situation for all involved and has many factors including emotional attachments, financial restrictions and life threatening danger and can be extremely difficult to escape from.  Child protection can assist by allocating a social worker, helping to create an escape plan and providing emergency accommodation.   I don't feel it is my place to further describe the difficulties or emotions involved in being involved in domestic violence situations since I have no personal experience.  I only write this article as a child health professional who learnt something new in regards to how domestic violence affects the child from an emotional, behavioural and developmental perspective.

 

 

Further infomation

resources recommended by the presenter of the session:

Dr Bruce Perry: Child Trauma academy website

Louise Porter: book "Children Are People Too"

Alan Jenkins: book "Invitations to Responsibility"

 

nb.1. I use the male descriptions for the child for consistency

 2. I have no intention to stereotype perpetrators of violence as men, and victims as women, my article has been presented this way as example only, for ease of reading.