Toilet Training with Deadlines.

There are many way to train a toddler to go to the toilet and most of them will not work with a lot of children as you have to find the one that presses the right buttons in the child.

Our first child was toilet trained before he was 3 and we used the mimicking method and favorite underwear plan. He used to watch Daddy go to the toilet and we let him choose his own underwear to wear when he was going to be a big boy. we explained what it meant to be a big boy (getting dressed by yourself as best you can, packing up your toys and going to the toilet) and how much more fun it can be. We also purchased a special toy car for him to be presented when he showed a level of competency with pooing in the toilet. He does not like being dirty so he trained himself once he had the resources and the guidance.

Number 2 child was a different story. He had a skull reconstruction when he was 6 months old so we expected development to be a little later and we had to take him to physio to learn how to walk. We tried everything to get him toilet trained. All the methods above, the party method promoted by Dr Phil, promise of bribes and when he was almost 4 I started with the deadline approach. Because we had tried so many methods for the previous 6 - 12 months he had a good understanding of what was required so now we had to put a date on it and tell him that  that is the day he becomes a big boy. The idea is to pick a date on the calender and circle it and explain that that is the day  you  go to the toilet and wear jocks and eat out of the bigger bowl with the bigger spoon and wear your new shoes that only big boys wear ... but you not a big boy until you can go to the toilet like a big boy.

To add effect I chose a date that was widely publicised so I could use that date and the media coverage as opportunities to discuss the big day and keep it in his mind. The next dates were Christmas and the new year. I wanted to leave Christmas alone and take advantage of the new years promotions with fireworks, stocktake sales, media coverage and discussion by the general public. I explained that on this day he may wake up as a big boy, take off his nappy  and go to the toilet to "listen to his body " and see if there was some wee. If there was some wee he was a big boy and if there wasn't he would try again later until he was.(didn't make it definite as ultimately it is up to him and what if he did,nt wake up a big boy)

Every time there was an add about the new year I would say "thats the day you might wake up a big boy". Eventually he was saying to me "thats the day i will be a big boy.

With Christmas and the birthday of my eldest son a few days before we all forgot about the big boy thing and to my surprise on new years day my little boy came running into our bedroom with no pants saying, "hey daddy and mummy now I am a big boy coz there was some wee" we checked the toilet and sure enough there was wee, lots of it, and some of it was in the toilet. I was so proud of him and was wrapped that the deadline had stuck in his mind as we had forgotten all about it.

It took a little longer to get the pooing right and we had to keep explaining that big boys do poo in the toilet too.
He is now 4 and toilet trained ... and he is a big boy.