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  4.06 (Worth a try) from 10 votes (362 Visits) |
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A Tool to Help Siblings Resolve Disputes |
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by goldilox  (September 2006) (rank 277th) |
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This method is designed to help children learn HOW to resolve disputes and disagreements (rather than parents demanding that either they stop bickering altogether, or they "sort it out" themselves). This is one of the tools you can give your children which will, not only help them to resolve
disputes between themselves, but will also:
* help them to see from other people's points of view, and consider the feelings of others
* serve as a great advantage to them as adults
One of the tools you can give your children is a “dispute hat” (or stone or ball or whatever) and when they disagree, they can take it in turns to hold the “dispute hat” – at this time, only the person holding the dispute hat may talk, and the other has to listen. But the dispute hat only lasts for a certain period of time (two minutes for example – (it would be useful to get them a timer or stopwatch)
There are three rounds with the dispute hat:
Round One: Each person has two minutes to explain his side without being interrupted. The other one has to listen carefully – he’s going to need the information in round two.
Round Two: After they’ve each had their two minute’s explanation, they again take it in turns to hold the dispute hat, but this time, two minutes speaking as if they are the other person, saying what they understand that person’s point of view is, and what they think that person means.
Round Three: Last round with the “dispute hat” – this time putting forward what they think would be a fair and reasonable solution.
The most important thing about this method is, you will need to walk them through it the first few times. Help them as many times as needed. It’s not easy – even for adults – to resolve disagreements without someone feeling cheated in some way, so it’s important not to expect too much too fast.
