Yes, that's me. Posterchild for Borderline Personality Disorder. I have been through some very major and life-altering trauma in my life, beginning at age 4, and a sort of "rift" was created in my Self. I struggle, daily, with flashbacks to traumatic events, depression, acute insomnia, and absolutely garish moodswings. Not only does it create chaos inside of myself, but it creates chaos for my son. I am not on medication, nor do I wish to be. But there are a few things that I do for myself, in order to better cope with the turmoil in my noggin, and then some.

1. Breathing exercises: Whenever I feel a shifting of mood or that impending downward spiral, I take a deep breath in, count to 5 slowly, and then let it back out. I repeat this until I actually feel centered and calm. Sometimes it takes 30 seconds, and other times it takes a full 5 minutes. Don't feel badly about yourself if it takes you a long while to center. Simply allow yourself to be.

2. Music, dancing, and singing.: I love music. Whenever I have to do something that leaves me feeling less than good afterward, I turn music on and dance around the house and sing at the top of my lungs. (thankfully, I sing well!!) I try to choose music that has a positive message and an upbeat feel to it. Listening to angry or depressing music leads to more anger and depression, I've found. Go in with a trial and error approach to it. Some people listen to Enya when they are centering. Me? I listen to ambient trance techno music. Whatever makes You content.

3. Mother Nature: Each day I take a walk. The fresh air clears my head. Even on cold, rainy, and blustery days, I walk. Seriously! Walking raises the endorphin count in my brain, which causes my mood to go into an upswing. You could take music in headphones with you, or you could simply listen to the sounds of the world around you. Nature is everywhere. Even in the heart of downtown Los Angeles, California I could find nature. Where can you find it?

4. Mindfulness: I practice being mindful of every single thing I do, say, and think. If I do things mindfully, I am never scattered or unsure of myself. Mindfulness is so simple that it feels as if it should be more complex. It's not! I just think about everything, from each breath I take to the way I cock my head as I look in a mirror. If we only think on the big things in our lives, we completely miss the point. Lots of little things make those big things even bigger and better. It really is about those little things.

5. Positive Affirmations: I keep a simple lined notebook. In this notebook, every day I write affirmations. I use only positive words like "Will" and "Am" and "Is". At the end of each week, I sit down an re-read that week's series of entries, and I make notes. It never ceases to amaze me, the things that come to pass, after I've affirmed them for and to myself. The mind is such a powerful thing.

6. Mirror Notes: I write myself notes on my bathroom mirror. Yes, it's kinda silly. But it helps me. When I'm having a really bad self-esteem day, I write myself that note, praising some bit of me, so that every time I look into the mirror, I am reminded of something truly awesome about me. Who can love you better than you, yourself?

7. Time-Outs: When I need it, I give myself a Mommie Time-Out. We give them to our children so that they are forced to reflect on something, right? It calms them down and redirects them. Well, it works in us, too. Taking a 5-minute Time-Out allows for breathing and reflection and redirecting the frame of mind, so that a small hiccup does Not turn into a major case of indigestion.

There is more. BPD is rough stuff. KNowing truly is half the battle, though. One can still raise a healthy and well-rounded child, even if that person is not entirely whole and well-rounded in themselves. Break the cycle.