“My daughter is a fussy eater”, my son will only eat peanut butter sandwich” “my son loves chicken soup but that’s all he has” “my 2 children are so different1 the first one was terrible at meal time, the second one have no problems” my
son…” STOOOOOOP! Lets start from the beginning:
when you child becomes a fussy eater (as you would call it) first of all – eliminate health problem. Don’t guess, go to the Doctor and have him/her checked the ears, teeth, stomach… - I’m sure the doctor is better than me in this area. Also remember that if your child just got over an illness – it takes long time for the body to recover and to gain the “normal” eating habits.
Once you found that your child is healthy, and you noticed that on a general basis he/she is playing, sleeping, happy etc – it is time to be creative!
1) Change the scenery of the mealtime:
It is soooooo boring to eat all the time at the table! I mean seriously – does you child plays all the time only in his/her room? Doesn’t he ever play in the bath? Doesn’t she ever play in the living are? Or at the playground? CHANGE THE MEAL AREA!
For example (one that worked in my experience with so many “fussy” eaters) – HAVE PICNIC ON THE FLOOR. “Oh no” you say, “that’ll dirty the carpet. And my child will not learn his table manners if we eat on the floor” Ok – lets forget about the table manners for a second (although they are very important with this issue). And back to the floor picnic – arrange it that it will happen during the meal the whole family is having together. Put a nice blanket on the floor; bring some plastic cups and plates. For all I care put the plants in your home around the picnic area, to make it look like nature. Look at it from this point of view – you can’t always go to the beach (weather, budget, etc), you don’t really like ants crawling on your plate – so picnic at home is a perfect solution! And make it feel and sound like fun: “ok everyone! The picnic dinner is ready! Oh! This is so much fun!” And please – if food ends up on the floor – try to ignore it (just like you would have if you had picnic at the beach).
There are lots more other fun places to eat – away from the table. The playground. Your balcony/backyard. The living room. Arrange all your child’s wooden blocks in a shape of a square and eat “inside” it. Or build a “table” from these blocks and eat on it. Be creative – and your little one will be hungry.
2) Make the food look better and… funny –
“Oh no” you say, “she thinks I have time to learn complicated meals”. No No No! Just take the tomato, slice it to few round slices. Then take the cucumber and slice one long slice. And take one slice of orange. Arrange them in the shape of a smiley face (tomatoes slices are the eyes, cucumber is the nose, orange slice is the mouth). And don’t forget to be funny: “lets eat smiley face! Shall we eat the eyes first or the nose?”
You can also make a “colors” plate – few slices of orange colored foods (carrot, orange….), then few slices of red colored foods (tomato, strawberry, capsicum), then few slices of green foods (cucumbers, capsicum, celery) and so on. And now for the fun part: “mommy will eat only red! (Tommy) will eat only green! Yeh! We did it! Show me your tongue – wow! Look! It’s green!”
You can be creative on the plate with all kinds of foods - spaghetti can be the “hair” of a face, mashed potatoes can be written on – if your child just started to learn reading/writing… I think the only food I haven’t got an artistic idea for is the vegetable & chicken soup. So we sometimes put the soup in a mug instead of a bowl – it makes it more interesting to drink it!
3) Play games! Your “shrunk adult” is after all – a child!
Let your child feed you (you’re the baby, and he/she is the parent). While feeding you, remind him that as a parent he/she must taste the food, to see if it’s not to hot…
Let your child ride on his/her ride-on bike and give him “fuel” on spoon and ask for pretend money in return (my son loves this game and boy does he eat lots when he gets “fuel”.
Pretend your child is a “dog” or a “cat”. Tell that “dog” to “sit boy!” and if he does – give him a healthy “bone” (slice of apple)!
4) “Shrink” the plate size and the food amount –
Children often go off food when they see a “huge” plate full with food.
I often find that a small plate with a very small amount of food on it will make my son eat all – and ask for more! But when he see a “big” plate – he usually say he’s not hungry!
So “shrink” the amount and the plate size. That will make the appetite grow!
5) Keep serving, with a smile, the foods your child doesn’t want –
Ok, so he doesn’t like chicken soup. Or she got off for some reason from rice. Don’t we all?
Do you think I always feel like having salad? But I must admit – sometimes, if it’s there on the table – I eat it.
Same goes for your little one. The fact that he doesn’t like rice doesn’t mean it can’t be at the table. And daddy, while eating his rice, can say “oh! This rice is so good! I might have some more! I am such a good boy eating this rice!”
you’d be surprise – one night, your child will ask for this rice. But meanwhile, what would your child eat? Well – there’s only one answer for that:
6) Have few choices on the table –
Does your child plays with the same toy all the time? Do you read the same book all the time?
Rice and… spaghetti! If your child is a spaghetti fanatic, fine. But keep the other “unwanted” foods on the table.
A “one-dish” table is a boring table! A variety of foods on the table also increases the appetite and reduces the “I don’t like that” factor.
Do you think that this variety will force you to work like a slave in the kitchen? Unfortunately, you’re right! For few days, maybe a week or two, you will need to cook lots. But you will be rewarded. Because one day, you will be able to ask your little fussy one:
7) “What would you like to have for dinner tonight?”
Yes – another great way to encourage lost appetite is letting your child make the decision. But of course, if you want to be productive (and not just eat his/hers favorite spaghetti every night) give your child few choices. Ask him/her to choose 2 things he/she likes the most from a list of rice, omelet, pizza, spaghetti, salad, mashed potatoes… And – praise for the choice. Serve the dishes to the table (or the picnic at the floor) and announce: “look everyone! This menu was chosen by (Kathy)! Isn’t she a clever girl!”
And at a certain age, you’ll also be able to ask:
8) Do you want to make dinner tonight? Making food is a great way of increasing the appetite!
My 4 year old loves to cut the vegetable salad for dinner (don’t worry – he has his own special safe knife), mainly because he nibbles the lettuce while cutting it. And then he tells me he’s got to try the tomato to see if it’s good for the salad.
By the time we get to dinnertime he’s already half full – but hey, he ate his vegetables! And when I serve the salad to the table I announce with a proud voice: “this is the salad that Gilad made!” and oh, you should see the proud look on his face!
9) Give the “shrunk adult” shrunk-food-explanations
I must admit, sometimes it’s a bit embarecing, when my son sits at the table with guests, and say: “I eat tomatoes because it helps going to the toilet”. On the other hand I’m very proud when he say, “I eat garlic because it’s got lots of vitamins and it’s very healthy” or “I don’t put a lot of salt because it’s not good for my heart”.
Give real, down-to-earth, true explanations to your child about foods. Don’t just say, “It’ll make you grow and be stronger”. Tell him this food have a vitamin that is good for his heart. And this fish have Omega-3 that is good for the brain. And so on. You think your child won’t understand? Maybe not at the beginning, but eventually he/she will. Don’t we all?
Talking about foods and “digging” into the ingredients in them is another way of making the food more appealing.
And it’s also another way of making your child more aware of what he/she eats. When my son once told me he won’t eat this lollipop because it’s yellow and yellow color can make cancer – I knew I must have done good!
10) Table manners – FORGET THEM(up to a certain point)!
A huge factor of the child’s getting off food is the ongoing attempt of adults to make the child eat properly.
“Don’t play with your food! Don’t wave the fork! Seat properly! Say thank you! Say please! Eat with your mouth closed!…” Have you lost your appetite by now?
No wonder the little one doesn’t want to eat! I’m not saying manners are not important. But the time for them will come – naturally. If you’ll be negative at the table and “educating” manners most of the time – food would be tasteless.
Instead – give your child a good example at the table, and eat yourself properly. Praise yourself: “I’m holding my fork/spoon so good! Well done mommy/daddy!” don’t tell your child to say “thank you” - say lots of “please” and “thank you” yourself – so your child can learn from you.
Even if someone else id serving him/her – say “thank you” instead of your child. That’s the best way to learn manners (not to be forced to “say it!”) And, if we’re at the baby age when eating with fingers is the only choice – eat also with your fingers.
Show him/her how you can eat with your fingers, and still maintain a well-mannered behavior. For a long period of time I ate pasta with my fingers, because I noticed my son (when he was at the “finger-eating” age) was so frustrated looking at me eating easily with the fork/knife. So he stopped eating his favorite pasta. So I stopped with the fork – and started eating with my fingers. That made him starts eating again!
On a general basis – I’m totally against forcing manners on babies and toddlers. I never said to my son “say thank you” – and yet, he is a very polite young child (4 years old!) who would most of the time will say “thank you”. Why? Because I always said the “thank you” on his behalf when he was younger.
I see lots of 4, 5 and 6 year old children that their parents still “force” them to say thank-you or please. And these kids still don’t say it themselves. Why? Because they’re used to say it only after the parent tells them too. So please, stop “telling” your child to say “thank you” – just say yourself “thank you” on their behalf. Eventually – they will learn that this is the right and good way, and they will start saying it themselves.
I could go on like that forever – but I have to go and make dinner.
BON APETITE!
(September 2006) (
