Brought up with abuse as a child - almost got stuck in it as an adult! My story!

I think your a very brave person

I was trapped for a while but now I am free and I'm not hoping to repeat the experience anytime soon!

Well Done. I am Proud to see strong people such as yourself!!

You did the right thing--the hard thing--and you did it for your children as much as you did it for yourself.

It feels great to share your story doesnt it. Best of luck. You are sounding really strong and positive to go go go girl. I have been with my alcoholic partner for 3 1/2 years  before emmy arrived and when she was 9 mths I had had enough.It can get so ugly and Ive been there and sure you have too and I was just so so sick of thinking that this was mine and my daughters future. NO WAY. I seperated from him for 9 months. He made my life such a complete misery during this time practically stalking me. Still trying to manipulate me until things got worse and worse for him and he eventually hit rock bottom and took him self to AA. For a couple of months I didnt come to it but he slowly became again the person I feel in love with. Whilst now we have only been back together for a couple of months again it continues to be a battle but for us one we keep fighting. I think you go through such a stage where you try so hard to control there drinking till in the end you throw your hands up and say. Yep Im completely powerless to this. His father is an alcoholic and I have trouble understanding his parents relationship together and the lack of relationship they have with their grand daughter. His brother too is an alcoholic and seperated after 2 kids. It is a disease though and you only hope that one day they can admit to it and make the changes to be better role models to their kids. If anyone has been around alcoholism or is now can I recommend you go to alanon meetings. They are brilliant! cause you spend so much time initially fighting the pain on your own, making excuses to friends and family, defending them, screaming matches, and some including me physical abuse. Alanon, although  I only did the meeting for a couple of months, it brang me so much peace to me and everything I did and had tried to do and helped my relationship with him. You learn alot.

Best wishes

I, too, have left an abusive relationship, although I stayed for 4 years, it was the hardest years I have ever lived in my life.  My ex is a drug/alcohol depentant sex addict - the damage he caused me mentally is possibly irreversable - they say mental/verbal abuse is worse than physical - in some ways I tend to agree.

Congratulations on recognising you had a choice, this was something I didn't see while I was in the midst of it all - I learned that later when I went to dv counselling - and grew from there.  I hope you continue to grow and thrive in your new peaceful environment.

Well done :)  Your children will benefit greatly by learning of your decision.

It must of been hard to come to the decision to leave and to do it my yourself which is what I feel stop some women from doing it. I too was a child that was partly brought up in an abusive relationship my mother eventually left my father only to fall into a similar relationship which is still on going. This has put me in the mind set of not going down that route and fortunately I married a great man who wouldn't know how to be abusive.

You have given your children the best gift of all - A great role model.

Thanks to everyone for showing me such great support.

I hope people in a similiar situation does read my post here and realise that they are not alone! I approached my mum and asked her why she never left dad - she basically replyed that it was laziness. And fear of change - my message to anyone else feeling the same as my mum - please please please dont be afraid to leave - be afraid to stay!

All the best my minti friends!

Congratulations on breaking the cycle.  My mother was an abused child and her mother was abused by my grandfather for over 30 years.  My mother left home at 17 when she couldn't deal with the abuse any longer.  She broke the cycle then and there when she vowed that her children would never suffer the way she did.  Thanks for doing the same for your children.

Thank you for sharing the story. IT is hard to leave a relationship even when it is an abusive one. To take the stand and walk out especially where children are involved makes it even harder. I had a friend who said to me (during the course of an abusive relationship - we're talking psychological abuse here) "Better the devil that you know." This sort of resignation and a willingness to leave it to fate is just so sad.

 well done, take care and god bless.