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Homework Hell? 7 Tips for Getting Back on Track |
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by jenlemen  (October 2006) (rank 88th) |
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Tired of tears and tantrums when it's time to do homework? Here are seven tried and true tips for homework heaven:
- Hold a family meeting. Over heaping bowls of ice cream, ask your kids to tell you what works when they are trying to get their homework done. Take notes as they explain how they work best. If problems arise in the discussion--such as difficult relationships with teachers or trouble in a subject matter--make plans immediately to talk to whoever is involved. Make sure your kids know you are more than willing to help them get the help they need to do well. If your kids feel like they're working more than playing, take that seriously as well. Make plans to reduce afterschool activiites so your kids can play hard and blow off steam.
- Make a homework plan. Decide together about what time homework will be done and where in the house. You can give your kids lots of freedom in making this plan without sacrificing your own sense of what will work for your famiy. I decided I didn't care where my kids decided to do their homework as long as we could all agree that we'd tackle homework before going out to play. Every family will decide that one differently, but my kids quickly agreed that in our case, that made sense. Be honest about what kind of atmosphere you need to feel positive about homework. For example, I know complaining and whining really wears me out when the kids are doing homework, so as part of our plan we included quiet and cooperation. We also talked about making requests for help versus freaking out as part of our family homework strategy.
- Get prepared. Make it a point to make sure your child has everything she needs to do her work without unnecessary delays. Go on a special outing to buy all the supplies you need to do schoolwork at home. Let her choose glittery pencils, adorable erasers and anything else she might need to complete her assignments. Put your supplies some place permanent in your designated homework area and reserve the use of these things for homework only.
- Start over. Choose the next Monday to implement your new plan. Let your kids help you make a simple chart for the refrigerator to keep track of how many days the homework plan is working. Decide together on a simple celebration for the end of the week if all goes well. Our favorite celebrations include downloading a kids program off Itunes or going out for ice cream cones. Celebrations should be small, affordable and sustainable. This isn't a reward per se--just a family acknowledgement that we're all making progress.
- Welcome your kids to the homework table. Sitting down and actually starting to do homework is so much easier if there's a snack and good conversation waiting. We start our homework hour with something yummy to eat and catching up on the news of the day. This helps everyone transition. Another way we stay on track is by inviting friends to do homework with us. My kids enjoy welcoming their friends to our table and our guests enjoy having some company while they do their work. I've found that the drama around difficult subjects dissipates when the children can work in pairs to tackle the harder aspects of a particular assignment.
- Keep going until good homework habits become part of your daily routine. I've learned that it takes time to learn how to be a good student, and that my children really need my presence in these early years while they learn to do their work more independently. Each Monday we start anew, and each week they are more and more able to take responsibility for their work. Amend your plan as needed (your kids will love all those ice cream laden family meetings!) but stick with it.
- Celebrate! Before long your kids will be doing their homework all by themselves--without all the nagging, poking and prodding. Celebrate each tiny baby step of progress. Throw spontaneous dance parties in the kitchen to show your delight! Let your kids know how much you love to see them do well in school and how much you needed to know they could learn to be responsible for their work. Thank them for their progress and encourage them to keep going. Even the smallest bit of cooperation and initiative needs noticing.
