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Taking young children to restaurants: Beyond the basics

Cathbuzz by Cathbuzz Speaking(October 2006) (rank 500+)

Basic information on taking kids to restaurants has been well-covered here and elsewhere, but there are some down and dirty details I can share that might eliminate some of the pain. Of course, all children are different, and they change so much from infancy to preschool. Because of this, the first rule to remember is that eating in a restaurant with young children is a lot like going into battle. You must tirelessly prepare beforehand, knowing that as much as you prepare things can and will go horribly, horribly wrong. Remain flexible, be ready to think on your feet, and remember that there is no shame in retreat. Or at least much, much less shame.

1. If you have children that are old enough to want to know where you're going and what you're going to eat, for god's sake, don't tell them exactly where you're going or exactly what you're going to eat. You are setting yourself up for a tantrum when the restaurant is closed for some odd reason. Or when they are inexplicably not serving their favorite food that night. One night, I promised my toddler beans and rice. Restaurant #1 was closed for some unknown reason. Then Restaurant #2, where we hadn't been for quite some time, which was 1/2 hour away from the first one, was being remodeled. Our dilemma was clear: tell toddler we are not getting beans and rice and endure a huge mood-polluting tantrum that would most certainly bleed over into our restaurant experience or drive for another 1/2 hour to restaurant #3? We chose the latter. Which brings me to...

2. Always bring some back-up food. Whether you are stuck in the car looking for the restaurant, waiting in line for a table, or waiting for your food, you're going to want to have snack items that you can judiciously dole out. Gold fish. Graham crackers sticks. Cheerios. Whatever keeps their mouths occupied with another task besides screaming their bloody heads off. And if you're really unlucky, and they hate what's on the menu, you can try and cover your rear with the snacks you've brought and...

3. During emergencies, it is perfectly acceptable to order dessert for the hooligans right away. This buys you time to pay the bill and stuff your food into doggie bags before your children do something that lands you on the local news. For example. When my in-laws were last in town, we wanted to take them out to dinner. It is almost impossible to make people not in the day-to-day world of young children  understand that location and the right timing is of essence if you want to have a good dining experience. So we pull up to the restaurant (not child friendly) at 6pm (one hour before bedtime). It goes just as you might expect. Food takes forever to get there. Restaurant decibal level was negligible until we walked in and getting louder for every minute time passed without food on the table. Toddler did not like what was one the menu. Glaciers melt faster than these people eat. So I ordered a big bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and sprinkles. It was kind of like throwing myself on a grenade to save a village. And it worked.

4. Crayons and restaurant menus are boring. Don't count on the restaurant to entertain your kids for you. You can take a plastic pencil box for each child and stuff it with special goodies to keep them occupied while you are waiting. Get creative with what you fill it with AND (this is very important) don't let them play with this sort of thing all the time. Keep it special for restaurants. My 3 year old is still entranced with forbidden stickers, stamp pads, and a special set of markers. I've heard of parents bringing small cans of play-doh. Temporary tattoos could be charming. Magnetic play books. Punch out cards with shoelaces to string. My 9 month old is much harder to please, but a bunch of finger food and a bowl to fill and empty over and over have been working pretty well. We also sit the two close to each other because they do a better job of entertaining each other than we can do.

5. This only works with the toddler, but we have a short and strict set of rules about restaurants. We go over the rules before we go in, and we don't let stuff slide. The rules are: stay in your seat, use your indoor voice, and don't play with your food. Too many infractions will involve a boring trip to the car.

6. Toiletries. Always bring wipes that are easily accessible. If your kid mostly drinks out of sippy cups, bring an empty sippy cup with you. For the baby, I pack the essentials in a ziplock bag (bib, spoon, baby food), where the dirty mess can be packed back in and brought home. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS bring a changing pad. You would be surprised how often you will have to change your kid on the floor because the restaurant has no changing table.

 

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gabm
5.00 (Excellent) | December 2006 | gabm
great stuff
All really handy tips! Thanks! We always treat the wait staff and kitccchen staff with respect, too - "do you think Chef would mind doing this dish without chilli?" "do you think chef could do a small serving of this dish? The little one adores it" - that sort of thing. 9 times out of 10 chef has kids / neices / etc and is thrilled kids want to eat his/her cooking. And we try and go early - not as many diners to be potentially upset, food is served quicker, kids eat at normal time and don't get over tired. And! If you can, go to a restaurant next to / across the road from a park. If there is a wait, one of you can take it in turns to get them out for 10 minutes while the other one sits and enjoys a glass and pretends to be the sophisticated adults we once were :)


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ssedgar
December 2006 | ssedgar
i agree
i agree with jessgore start with kid friendly places then work your way up, we took my boys out to a pasta restuarant when zac was only around 2 he made a huge mess and was a little rouwdy but the staff said he was a really well behaved, he was not running around screaming or throwing a tantrum when i said ne he couldn't have ice cream.


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Jessgore
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2006 | Jessgore
Start of with a kid friendly place...

With my 10 year old step daughter my husband started taking her to kid friendly places then when he saw that she was learning to behave up graded to the not so kid friendly places (these are the places that don't have change tables)....  And ever time we saw a kid acting out he'd say thank you for not doing what that is doing. That gave her a sence of being a wonderful well behaved child and was happy to know that daddy thought so too..  We will be doing the same with out son.. We actually took him to a place that was lets just say the lamb cost $40.00. He had only just turned one... But he was so well behaved for the three hours that we sat there talking it was amazing.

We also made sure that we keep the kids involved... Make sure they know they have come out to dinner with us and are not just tag alongs because we could not find a baby sitter... This also helps when they feel they are actually part of the dinner party...



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Joeyjo
October 2006 | Joeyjo
Good ideas all!
I so agree with Kileegiles - 21 sounds like a good age!  My husband and I used to get so stressed pre-restaurant outing, and we wondered why we did it each time (especially after the first drink-spill). But we kept at it and kept at it, and you know what? The kids' endurance extended beyond the first 30 minutes, and now they are actually quite well-behaved for the first 85 minutes. And another thing, I don't know whether other people have the same problem as me, but my kids always choose to do a "number 2" in a restaurant. I can't figure out whether it's their reaction to the general hygiene of the food or whether it is a timing thing. But take some anti-bacterial wipes with you so when you're faced with the janitorial task of wiping down the toilet seat, you won't feel quite as grossed out. And wet-wipes for the bum are a good idea too.


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wildrose
4.00 (Good) | October 2006 | wildrose
Flexible
Be flexible when you're taking young children to restaurant is always good. Regarding the food, ask the waiter to serve the food first to the children since they don't have enough patient as adult, and bring some extra favorite snacks in the bag. I found the more frequents you take your children to restaurant/cafe  the more they learn to behave in certain place. Well at least it works for us. we also always tell them what to expect in the resto, let's say we might eat this and that, they don't have this and that, also works.


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Frontier
4.00 (Good) | October 2006 | Frontier
Children and Resturaunts
Good advice that has been tried by us. Here's another tip that works well for us with a 4yo and 6yo.
  • Choose resturaunts that are suitable for children.
  • Accept you have a deadline and stick to it. (children have a built in timer that often activates after 45 minutes of the same environment)
  • Order kids meals to come out with your drinks as they are slower eaters (they play with thier food) and you should finish your meals at the same time.
  • Only order desrt if the timer has enough time on it and find the waiter (res), don't wait for them to come to you.
  • Have your coffee at home .


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KileeGiles
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2006 | KileeGiles
Laughing

As true as all that is I couldn't stop laughing, makes you wonder why we even do the restaurant thing until they are 21.  We tend to do the restaurant for breakfast rather than dinner as the risks are much less.  And we always go with others who have kids cause you are right they can entertain each other much easier than we can entertain them.  Thanks for the advice.



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      MumKim
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2006 | MumKim
Start with a breakfast meal
Starting with breakfast sounds like a good tip. - better time of day for kids  and often a shorter meal. Thanks for sharing. Will keep it in mind.


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