Bad Behavior

It's very difficult to deal with your lovely child when they are having a tantrum.  My beautiful innocent child!  What is wrong with my baby? 

Tantrums and agressive behavior are not uncommon or something to be frightened by.  Remember that they are usually connected to two factors:

Teach your child to express himself more constructively and give him opportunities to talk to you about what is bothering him.  He has feelings, strong feelings.  Feelings of disappointment and anger, powerlessness and jealousy.  Violence is often a simple outlet for other feelings--just like in adults.

You have to start having a different kind of dialog with your child.  Talking to him about his feelings, what is bothering him?  Give him opportunities to participate and make decisions in the home.  Observe his behaviour closely and watch for things going on in the home or at school that might be bothering him.

Ask your teacher to get involved.  They often have excellent advice and can provide perspective.  We found our expectations towards our child were too high compared to the other children and the tantrums were set off by strong feeling of being pressured constantly by adults.

Remember to avoid thinking that your child is different or mentally sick.  Lots of parents are reaching for the bottle of pills in our society instead of taking a hard look at their own behaviour and the kind of home they are creating for their kids.  You may have to make some changes.  The second thing is to remove violence from your household and make sure there is plenty of fun and attention.  Punishment that is negative (taking something away) and is only workable when there are plenty of fun things they enjoy (positive reinforcement).  Watch the Super Nanny and how she carefullly creates rules but also really good fun.  Make sure you strike a balance.

Good luck!

Wombat