My parents always stressed that so long as we did our very best in what ever we undertook that was all they would ever ask.  And they never made myself or any of my siblings feel less than special or loved at any time.

We live in a world

In many ways we are loosing the values that balance each child and centre them to face whatever fate holds in store for them.

Appreciate the efforts that the children put into their endeavours.  Show them how proud you are of everything they do and heap praise upon them.  At the same time allow them to understand that there is always going to be someone smarter and faster than they may be but stress that this is okay and so long as they are are putting one hundred perecent into things that is all anyone can ask for.  Teach them the old saying that "it is not winning that counts but how you play the game".   This saying not only covers sports but is something that is very true to life in general.

My children are all very different.  I have one who is quiet but very quick to learn and does most things she puts her mind to, another that is hesitant and not so sure of trying the new things.  She has a little less confidence and my last child defies anything and everything.  She doesn't think twice and throws herself into life.

After a day of school or a session of swim lessons I make sure I heap praise upon all three equally.  One daughter recently graduated to the next level ahead of all her class whereas the other two are still where they started.  Instead of pushing them to do better I tell the first how proud I am of her and then turn to the others and tell them the same.  I point out where each one has improved, even if it something as small as floating or jumping into the pool on their own.  I treat their school work the same and show them that if they tried their very best then an A is as good as a B.  If I know they didn't try I quietly point out that they need to work a little harder in that area, lets do a little better next time.  I NEVER compare them to each other or another child.  In fact I often tell them when they are better than mummy.  My favourite saying is "this Mummy is going to have so many little fish around her and she can't swim at all".  I don't hestitate to let them know I am not perfect nor am I the best and I make mistakes all the time.

I don't want to be one of those screaming parents on the sidelines or one of those parents who always has to play the game of one up manship.  My children are unique and I want them to be confident in who they are and not wanting to be something else.

A happy healthy child is one who is confident in all the constances around them and that first constant needs to be their family and parents.  Perhaps if we stand back and teach them that trying is more important than being the best we will let them learn and experience life with a little less pressure and with a lot more acceptance. 

Laughter plays a huge role as well.  Teach them that laughing when things don't always go their way is a lot more fun than stomping their feet and complaining.  It is also a lot more enjoyable than listening to a parent criticise or push for them to do as good as Sally Jim.

Enjoy the children for who and what they are not who and what we want them to be.