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My baby is 8 weeks old and fussing a lot between feeds, he won't sleep peacefully by himself on his own cot. Instead, if I pick him up and cuddling him, he stops crying immediately and falls asleep on me. The local nurse told me I should let him
cry and avoild eye contact so he learns the self-settling skills. And many sleeping lessons seems to teach you the same thing. But there are books and websites say the opposit - parents should response to babys' crying asap and meet their need. The more I read the books/websites about baby caring, the more I confused now. Which is the best way? Any advises?
You know your baby. Everyone speaks their advice from experience - and yet each is different. You know that one day you are going to have to face up to the crying and be consistent and allow your child to self settle, unless you want them to be sleeping in your bed when they are teenagers (I have a friend whose children still climb into her bed in the early hours, so I know that this does happen)
However, i gave in a few times. I was a single mother and when I was too tired I would give in, have cuddles and we would sleep on sofa, my bed or once hers was a bed in hers. For a long time it was on and off, months would go by when we seemed to have cracked it then some nights she would settle well, others it was all I could do to not cry with her, some i was strong and good and consistent and others i was weak and gave in. I did what was right for me and hopefully her each time.
There always came a time when we would talk about it and she knew she had to be a big girl and so sh would go to bed nicely for a while. And she does, very nicely. She is now 3 1/2.
Right now I am unwell, she wanted to sleep with me to make me better. I promised her that i would call her if i needed her in the night, but she could sleep on her bed for now and get some decent rest before that. She climbed in with me for 5 mins before she got up this morning to give me the snuggles i missed out on in the night. Than she smoothed my hair, told me she loves me, gave me a ksis on the eyelid (aww) and went off to play leaving me with strict instructions to sleep until she called me to give her brekky. So nice to know how my bossyness feels when it is turned back on me. LOL
But I feel that although I didnt do it 'right' it has all turned out ok. So do what is right for you. At the end of the day you only get it once, cuz all too soon they are grown up and all that.
Tips for settling to sleep:
- sing nursery rhymres or tunes with similar soothing catchy repetitive sounds
- read a boring book. If all else fails Matthew chapter one (in the bible) it is a genealogy with long names, and to read that without sounding monotonous is nearly impossible, esp if tired.
- read poetry, or something rhythmic (?spelling)
- play the music you played whlie you were pregnant, it is a reassuring and something familiar.
Hope this helps a little.
Peace
EF.x 
(October 2006) (
Lexi xxx
