You hear it so often, my baby is colicky. But what does it really mean?
Most people would answer wind, pain in the tummy, digestive problems. Most people would also say that a colicky baby is also unhappy most of the time. Hard to
get to sleep. Has trouble staying asleep. Hard to settle when awake. People often label an unsettled baby as a colicky baby. Then they will proceed to administer all sorts of colic remedies. I am here to tell you that what is commonly thought of as "colic" is actually ANXIETY. Colic or wind, or pains in the tummy are symptoms of anxiety. By treating colic, we as parents are not really dealing with the real issue of calming and making our babies feel secure in their surroundings.
We are so eager these days to show off our precious parcels that we spend our first weeks or months visiting everyone we can. The lady at the checkouts that saw baby growing in our or our partner's tummies. The butcher, green grocer etc, not to mention family and friends. Some of us, me included , are determined not to let our new additions slow us down. We have restuarants to eat at, or exercise to do or what ever. Our babies are being overloaded with external stimulation before they are ready. And then there is eating and running. Because we can be so busy, we forget how important it is to let their feed settle before racing off to run errands etc. This is enough to give me a pain in the tummy. From experience with my first child, I learnt the hard way, that she and I needed to slow down. I found that the best way to help her recover, was to give her peace and quiet, literally.
If you have an unsettled baby, I urge you to try the following techniques, whether you think your baby is overstimulated or not. It really does work. You must be prepared to isolate yourself and baby for between two and three days. No telephone, no television, no white noise. Even if it is for one day!
Start by making your baby's room completely dark, if you need to, black out the windows with black paper. Take as many toys out of the room as possible. Only have two or three that they can play with. Make sure that you have a comfy chair in there.Take the phone off the hook. Yes, no answering the phone. Do not turn the television on. Not at all. This will give you and the baby the chance to completely unwind. DO NOT CLEAN THE HOUSE! Have some books or magazines handy. If you can organize older kids to be looked after do it. Get a soft night light for baby's room. Now you are ready to calm your baby. Start by giving your baby a warm relaxing bath. Take your time. Enjoy the moment. You don't have anything else to do. For the first day, your baby should remain in their room in the dark. Place them in their cot or on the floor and stay in their room for as long as they are upset. They may cry alot they may not. Try not to pick them up while they are upset. Stroke their back, use soft shsh noises or whatever noise you think will work . Let them entertain themselves, tell them stories in soft tones, touch them, sing softly, lay next to them. Do not turn the light on except to change nappies, and then it should be the night light. When you feed, relax, do not think about what you could and should be doing because you have nothing else to do. Even if you bottle feed, hold your baby close. You need to keep this up for the entire day. Arduous I know, but it is so worth it! It helped me to focus when I thought of my baby happy and healthy. When you leave the room , do not turn the tele on, do not pick up the phone. Do not cook or clean. Sit down and read, or meditate. Do not go into the room as soon as they cry. Sometimes they just experiment with sound.
Day 2 , you can allow a little natural light in, and maybe put some soft soothing music on. I like classical but really, you can choose whatever you like as long as the volume is only just on, so you can just hear it. You should already be able to see a change in your baby's demeanour. Carry on as you did on day one. You should be able to leave the room for longer intervals. Swap the toys from day one with some others.
Day three you can let more light in and carry on in the same way. Towards the middle of the day, bring them slowly out to revisit the rest of the house. Do not turn the tele on. Maybe you can turn the phone on but any calls that come in, make them short! Then slowly, very slowly reintroduce them to the world. Maybe day four you can spend a couple of hours in the yard just exploring the ground with your baby, or the sky. Take things really slowly.
I know that this seems like an extreme thing to do, but it worked for me. The first day was the worst, but then I just went with the flow. I actualIy enjoyed the silence. I was able to relax as well which I think helped my daughter to chill out too. I never had to do this with my son. I think I was able to see the signs so we regularly had quiet days with no noise.
(October 2006) (
