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Puberty and Sex Education to Children

wildrose by wildrose Young Parent(October 2006) (rank 14th)
As parent we have responsibility to give some informations to our children regarding puberty and sex education. I understand, we have been questioning ourself when is the best time to share this informations to our children. Some might think it is a taboo thing to talk about to young children and
some thought we should give them the education before they reach their puberty.

I am not a doctor, but I grew up in big family with 4 older sisters and 4 older brothers. I felt lucky that my sisters had shared some of valuable informations regarding puberty before I had reached my puberty, and of course they shared it just as far as my age would understood. With those, I passed my puberty time without any trouble and felt more responsible in taking care my life.

What kind of basic topic we should share:
  • For Toddler
         - I believe we only educate them as far as understanding their own body part and the differences between girl and boy
  • For Primary School Child before puberty
        - About the physical changes on their body when they reach their puberty, could also share the other pubertal changes of other gender
        - About looking after their own body part and the concept of privacy of own self and other people body part
  • For Primary School Child after puberty
        - About what their body can do after they reach their puberty, it would include pregnancy, sex relationship, etc
        - About menstruation
        - About the diseases
        - About your expectations, values, law (of country where you live) and/or religion believe about sex

How do we start the conversation:
  • For Toddler
        - It may start when a parent and a child have a shower together and the child start asking the differences

  • For Primary Child
        - It may wait till your child comes up with the questions, otherwise you may ask about what your child know regarding puberty in relax time
        - Do not interrogate as if you are interfering their privacy
       - Try to make the conversation simple and easy to understand according to age and intelectual

Whether we like it or not, one day your child will go through what adult people do. I rather have my children get the basic informations from home than other source that might misleading. The world is changing really fast, a lot of things happen beyond our belief, therefore we better educate our children early in regard to protect and be responsible for themself.
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exquisite-flower
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2006 | exquisite-flower
Be Prepared.
It is important to be ready, but when we try to force this convo onto our children it can be disasterous.  Just because we are ready or have an idea how to broach the subject doesnt mean our chlidren are ready.  So hearing their thoughts and needs and doing it with their prompting and guidance is necessary.  And doing it to their level of understanding.  But being ready ourselves first is vital. 
Well explained article.  Thank you
Peace
EF.x 


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ljl267
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2006 | ljl267
Open Communication
I absolutely agree. Its really important to start young when talking about sex !  I have tried to raise my children in an environment where no subject is taboo, I give honest, age-appropriate responses but I ALWAYS tell the truth. The more trust we create as parents and the more open we are, the more chance we have of our children trusting US if and when they really need us!


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Jessgore
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2006 | Jessgore
Not there yet...
I am not there yet with my son..  And I tried to have a conversation with my step daughter about periods the other day but she so skillfully changed the subject.... I know she has a mother who can have this conversation with her, but her father asked to have it with her just in case, I mean who knows she might just get her period while she is staying at our place and her dad wants her to know that she can come to me... I think she already knows this, but he just wanted to make sure.  THe conversation was not had, maybe she was a little embaraced...  I guess I will wait until she comes to me (If she comes to me)....  That might work out better for the both of us.


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      wildrose
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2006 | wildrose
Not there yet...
I understand what you said. At least you've shown her that you're open for the conversation, whether she decided to discuss it or not, you just have to wait for it.


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           Jessgore
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2006 | Jessgore
Not there yet...

A few months back we had a talk about a boy she likes but he does not like her that way and they are just friends, but he is real cute and has long hair, and brown eyes...   I was so pleased that we had this chat, I asked her about boys at school and she got all shy with me as if she was getting ready for me to tease her.. I said to her that it was a real question and that I was not going to tease her... And it was fantastic little talk...   As I said I know she has a mum, but that is a whole other issue and the husband would perfer she came to me first.. Like I said a whole other issue...  And yes I just have to wait, but I think I have shown her that I will be there if she needs me... 

Thanks



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                wildrose
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2006 | wildrose
Not there yet...
Same here, I also told my step daughter when she visited us, that I'm open for any discussion. Whether she'd do it or not, I suppose it's her choice, specially that she still have her own biological mother.


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jenlemen
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2006 | jenlemen
i've been thinking about this
my kids are growing up in a highly sexualized culture, so i'm shocked that they don't understand what sex is exactly quite yet.  i am always torn between wanting to be the one to tell them things first but not wanting to give them too much information too soon.  so far, i've been one step ahead of the playground brigade, but i'll be shocked if i don't have to tell them more than i'd planned sooner than later.  thanks for bringing up this subject.


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      wildrose
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2006 | wildrose
i've been thinking about this
I just thought, children have big curiosity. They might try to figure out themself, or embarrass of us and ask other source, so I rather my children to have the basic information from us. We might start if we saw our children have seen or heard something related to issue, then we would ask what they think. But at this time, we still on toddler  period.


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