Great advice! My youngest brother used to play barbies with me quite frequently and he used to have long hair and ask me to plait it for him before he went to kindy. We even played dress ups LOL now he is a gym junkie/surfy guy.

lol my son is getting a kitchen set for his second birthday and for his first his daddy picked our an anatomically correct baby boy doll for him. 

 my two son play's with my daughters dolls all the time ,fairy wands, tiara, any thing he can  get  his hands on i think its normal toys should not be to gender but that is what i believe 

Mt daughter grew up with 3 boys then when I split from Mr biology my new partner had 2 nephews she played with regularly. She has her dolls and truck and cars and blocks an the youngest one had his pooh bear which he pushed around in his pram. Her biological cousin used to play with his other cousins dolls so one christmas his aunty bought him a dolls pram and grandma knitted him a teddy and the girls dolls. His father gave him a tee-ball set and other "boy" stuff but his son was more interested in the pram and teddy, much to his cousins delight because now he left hers alone. The father was furious and thought the child would turn out to be a poof, but a few years later he got a special gift and he's the best big brother she could have (when she finally got out of hospital).

It doesnt matter if they play with girls toys or boys toys as long as they are not destroying them and having fun and sharing with the others then what harm can it do?

I have had a treasured doll from birth that when my son discovered it, he has not let her go. Yesterday I even bought him a stroller to push her around in. I say who cares? It's about time men were raised to be more sensitive LOL !!

We actually went out and bought our son a doll, firstly to help with our new arrival in a couple of months and secondly this particular doll has laces and buttons which he can practice in doing up and undoing when he is ready to learn how to get dressed by himself.

I totally agree with everything you have stated in your article! I have one girl and four boys, so the house is over-run with boys toys, but all of them still use each others toys and always have. My daughter will allow the boys to play with the dolls she still has if they wish to. My 4yo dresses in her clothes, particularly if they're pink. But it's all purely experimental. He still loves his cars and trucks. It's just something a bit different to play with. Allowing them to be even just that little bit effeminate brings out a softer side. It makes them loving. It's not going to "turn them gay"! Just because they're boys, doesn't mean they have to be rough and tumble all the time.

Caite xoxo

My son J is almost three and while I was expecting his brother I noticed him picking up dolls at the playgroup I take him to, he too was very gentle with it, the result? A very loving big brother to 3 month old D!

good for you!! great article.  I have boy/girl twins and they play with each others toys all the time.  my 3yo son has worn my stilletos more than i have, and i am not at all concerned about him having any sort of gender confusion.   he still loves his cars and trucks but he can still find a brief caring moment in which to gently cuddle a dolly.   i also think the best we can hope for in raising a child is that he or she become self sufficient and successful in whatever it is they wish to do.

I have a 2 year old boy who owns baby dolls, an is getting play food and dishes for Christmas. I totally agree that children should  have ample opportunities when playing, as this is how they learn. Do we really want our boys learning that men don't cook or clean? Do we really want our girls learning that they are expected to live in a kitchen and that sports are for boys?

How are we changing the course of their lives by denying them opportunities because of some long outdated social "rule" or expectation? We need to let our children learn about the world, all of it. We also need to let them become who they are destined to be, not to become what we want them to be.

The whole blue and pink concept is outdated and silly . Let kids be kids, without forcing them to fit into a specific gender role.

Great article, except were you get to the high heels at the price of shoes these days both my kids were/are banned from wearing my shoes as they get destroyed.LOL. Once again GREAT ARTICLE...... 

I enjoyed reading your article. And i agree with you. Let your son or daughter get it all out of them. We as parents will just love it and think its cute and sooo adorible. My son loves to play with some of my old babbie dolls and drag his feet in my shouse, cuz there big and fun! He loves to watch and act like mommy or daddy, so why not get them ready for when they really have to play grown up. And we all know we will love are son or daughter even if they love the same sex.  

i loved reading this article and i agree with it 110%!!

thank u for sharing...cheers naomi

My son is now 6 and has dolls, sometimes wears rings and dances like a diva, on the flipside, he plays football, thinks passing wind is hysterical and wrestles anything in site.  It's healthy to encourage our children to explore and play with all sorts of toys - it helps to shape them into well rounded, emotionally healthy adults.

Thank you for posting this. I am writing a paper for Psychology and our assignment was just to go to a toy store and write down what the toys looked like for each gender. It said to be sure to look at the wrapping and the colors. Well, I decided to google search what other people thought about toys being genderized.  It's funny how women are trained from infancy to be housewives and men are trained to be tough and have authority. Well, I am glad there are other people out there that think the same thoughts I have.

I am a female I have 4 brothers and 1 sister and I had more girl stuff than you could even imagine I was such a girly girl but I absolutely loved to play hot wheels cars,baseball and   he-man with my younger brother and he played house and barbie's with me almost everyday and I am married to a man and I have 3 children and my brother is married to a woman and they have 1 son in fact all of my brothers are in relationships with woman except for 1 but he is single and he is also only 19.

This brings me to another point I have 2 girls and 1 boy,  My son is the youngest at 2 1/2 now having 2 older sister's of course he is going to play with girl toys and I have some girly girls hence alot of girly toys.   My husband tried to tell me that because our son is a boy he should play with boy toys well I was standing my ground and so was he until one day about 8 months ago my husband took a Barbie doll away from our son and told him it was for girls our son started to cry he looked at my husband with tears streaming down his little face and said PLEASE DADDY well  you could see my husband just melt he handed him back the doll and hasn't made a very big deal about it since, Oh every once in a while he will tell him that's a girl toy but he hasn't taking any girl toys away from him again he even let me buy our son a little baby doll for Christmas because both of our girls were getting one and he would have been upset if he hadn't. So as much as I would like to say it was a victory on my side it was really a victory for our son because his favorite thing to do is to play house and dolls with his sisters and they couldn't be happier to have him.

this is really great! and was good to read. i agree with you 100%

xoxox

What a great article! My little man is only 6 months old, but he will grow up playing with whatever he wants to! His cousin (a girl) is only 4 1/2 months older than him and i cant wait to see what the 2 of them get up to when they are a bit older! I have on 2 occasions had to dress him in her clothes too. I dont care that they are pink, as long as my son is comfortable and warm. True, i wouldn't intentionally take him out wearing girls clothes, but if i had nothing else (like i have on these 2 occations) then i dont mind.

I just have to add too, my step brother was one of the lead rolls in the rocky horror picture show when he was in high school. As a result of this, he can still walk better in stilletos than i can!!! LOL

well il add a story here seeing as i will let both my children play with whatever they wish within reason regardless of gender.

i recently spoke to a women 8 weeks preg who ahd bought cot sheets... she took them home to see a yellow giraffe on the white cot sheets and that the label said GIRLS cot sheet set, she took them back because she is "pretty sure" shes having a boy!

i thought this was insane and told her that if all the "boys" cot sheets or blankets are in the wash i use my daughters old ones and dotn care if they are pink...my 9 week old son doesnt seem to have a probelm with this either!

i dont take him out wearing girls clothes but i think some ppl take gender colours waaaay to seriously!

great topic btw and very well written article!

Lol my son once dressed in his sisters clothes, put my makeup on then knocked at the door, asking if himself was coming out to play? lol i just laughed it of hes 25 now and i still remind himxxxshar

Great article. When my son was little he played with dolls as well as his cars & trucks,he also played with my make up & high heels. He wouldn't go out of the house without moisturizer & lip gloss(too much female influence in his life I think!) He has grown out of it now but a few months ago he came out with my bra on! My daughter will have dolls but also have cars & trucks.

There is no such thing as boy or girl toys,they are just kids toys.

Well done,excellent advice.

Oh sorry here is the other side of the argument: when teaching a dance/drama class in a childcare centre, there was a 4 year old boy whose Dad dropped him off at daycare each time...in a frilly dress (the boy wore the dress, not the Dad haha). I noticed that the other children avoided him and the group leaders spoke to him with a harsher tone of voice than they did when speaking to other children. I was only the casual observer as he wasn't in my dance class but the Group Leader told me to 'pretend not to notice he's wearing a dress, the parents want it that way' without me even asking about it. It is hard to tell if the children avoided him and if the group leaders were harsh with him because he was in a dress or if the dress wearing was a result of him refusing to wear anything else (btw it was the same dress every day- washed and cleaned). 

Here are some interesting experiences I have had to do with what boys and girls should and shouldn't do and my response:

• Some parents think Gymnastics is just for girls. The first medal Australia ever won in gymnastics was won by a man- who did a segment on a television show being put up against other male athletes from other 'manly' sports and BEAT THEM IN EVERY PHYSICAL CHALLENGE!
• I heard a radio announcer getting upset that someone had bought his 5 year old son a hula hoop for his birthday. I perform a circus act with hula hoops and take them with me to children's parties. Little boys love them just as much as little girls, they do tend to play with them differently though.
• I was told once that the reason I am not married is because I 'am too capable at things that only boys should do' (eg. martial arts, fixing cars, playing with tools etc) I believe it is important to be independant and it is my personal choice to stimulate my brain however I choose, the right guy will understand.

These are just a few examples of some of the 'crazy talk' haha that goes on in the world on occasion. The rules and limits tend to be more on what boys 'should or shouldn't do'. Girls usually (except for the odd occasion such as what I experienced) seem to be encouraged to play with whatever they want. The good thing, YOU DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN when people try and force these rules onto you and Ethan! Keep doing what makes your him happy. I'm glad you and all of the responses you have recieved show such a healthy attitude.

Tanya :)

Great article!  Obviously something we feel strongly on if you look at all the comments below.  I think fathers are usually the ones to encourage gender stereotyping.  At first I had decided that the majority of men were complete and utter homophobes and that this was the cause, but on further thinking I have realised that this is not the case.  I think it is the pressure from society that has caused them to be this way.  If my husband read this he would freak but I've had an interesting time with him:

When we first met my son Bryn was 1 year old and was playing with a barbie doll - that went down like a lead balloon and when we moved to Bahrain I noticed that all the toys my husband had bought for him were very much boys toys.  Trucks, cars, etc.  My son was not interested at all!!! Gradually over the years I have managed to sneak a few less 'boyish' toys in to the mix though.  I have also managed to get my husband to endure a manicure and pedicure (it was a suprise visit to the salon of course). The other night I even got him to do some bellydancing with me (I'm learning bellydancing by dvd).  The funny thing is that he doesn't actually mind the girly stuff, he's actually more worried about what people will think!

When Bryn was a toddler he loved to play with toy animals - slowly his personality has evolved and he has been through stages with all different toys.  He has ended up with an obsession with spiderman and other related characters.  We have not pushed him in this direction - I have let him choose what he likes.  I explained to my husband that we need to nurture his gentle side and let him have the kitchen play sets, the dolls etc - so now he has a baby brother he is very gentle with him and knows how to care for a baby.  My husband couldn't deny that the dolls have contributed to this.  He wasn't quite as impressed when Bryn put my makeup on, and he has to hold his tongue when Bryn wears my high heels.... Smalls steps though, we'll get there eventually.  Maybe it is because I have two boys and no girls though......

I still cant believe that parents would push a child towards one toy or other, esp the kitchen! One of the biggest favours my mil did was to teach my DH how to cook, & how talk to women (coz we really communicate differently lets face it) as a child! Having worked in a "mans job" I've had to face people's reactions and prejudices, so I really dont want to steer my daughter towards or away from certain toys which might close off career paths or hobbies to her.

Already she's picking up on other's prejudices, like insisting a baby in a blue swim cozzy must be a boy although it was full body, or a teenage lad with long hair is a lady! Her favourite toys are all "boy" or neutral ones, eg train set, marble tower, cars. The dolls usually only get a look in when friends come to play.

However, I have noticed two things happening naturally: 1. the water pistol is only a WATER pistol, its no good without water and no fingers, bananas or sticks have ever been turned into guns & 2. real babies are interesting. Among my group of friends the boys all, regardless of the mums attempts otherwise, play "BANG you're dead" in some shape or form. The girls do not. Most of the boys ignored crying babies; the girls all came running!

I just had to comment on this article.  I think it is a load of codswallup to stereotype what any toy a child ought to play with.  We as parents are here to teach and as teachers the more open minded we are with our children in all areas I feel the better our children grow.  I feel by allowing them to explore their whole being in whatever it is they choose (within reason of course) the more balanced they become and the more secure they will be.  Our son had his own baby doll, played tea sets with his girl cousins, did knitting and lots and lots of different things and today at 23 he is a well rounded new age guy who has a very compasionate nature, has done a cert 3 in aged care and worked in an old peoples home and loved it, has done a cert 2 in hospitality and is at present working in hospitality and baby sits his foster brothers son, who might add absolutely loves his uncle dave, and he has such beautiful qualities that when he becomes a dad himself will make a wonderful father.  So personlly I feel it is definitely NOT a big deal for a son to play with baby dolls or anything else that may help develop their psyche as a whole.

My son Josh has 2 older sisters and though he has a room full of trucks and cars he still likes to play with their dolls, the pretend kitchen and plays out in the cubby house with all the kitchen cupbourds and makes things on the pretend stove.   I think is is absolutely wonderful that he does this and it really is cute when he is walking around in his sisters dressup shoes and carrying their bags. 

Honestly at the end of the day he is still a down and out boy who likes to get dirty, play with his cars and do what all boys like to do.

The thought that in this day and age some jobs are for boys and others are only for girls is ridiculous.  In a world of equal opportunities every individual has the opportunity to extend themselves in whatever course they choose to take.

Once our little ones reach school they are savvy enough to pick up on things in their own time.  Eventually they come home ranting about boy and girl germs (cooties we used to call them)!!!!!!  I'm a tom boy from way back but you can be sure that if I need to be girly I can.

We as parents script our children and in that respect we need to be aware that our values will become theirs.   Boys need to learn to be caring as well as tough but the same can be said for our girls.  Their own personalities will shine through when they are good and ready and no amount of trying to steer them in any one direction will count.

Let boys play with girl stuff and let the girls get dirty out in the mud what harm can it really do.

Children should be allowed to explore every aspect of life, playing is their work their way of learning about life. It is narrow minded people like that women in your article that raise children to except and suppressed their true feeling.  My ex and I still fight over me letting my son play with dolls and maybe if he was allowed to as a child he might be a better daddy today.!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As a child, my parents paid attention to what interested me and bought me toys of both "genders".  My favourite most treasured toys were my tonka trucks, matchbox cars, moulded army figurines, and lego.  My dolls, doll houses,and tea sets were totally ignored.  When I had my face painted at the fete, I demanded a Spiderman face.  I didn't want some boring girly butterfly!   At school I fought for the right to do woodwork and metalwork classes instead of cooking and sewing.  With the support of my parents, I won.  I'm a relatively normal self-sufficient independant hetrosexual female, and as I write this I am wearing a skirt.

When out shopping one day I offered to buy my boys a cheap toy to share.  They looked at what was available and chose a small doll.  I had no problem with that.  At my neighbours garage sale they wanted me to buy the doll pram.  The doll, the teddybears, and even the cars and trucks were pushed around the yard in that pram for about a year before the wheels eventually fell off it (after they tried to push each other around one day).  Yet you couldn't get two more boyish boys.

Children learn through play.  Name me one woman that won't appreciate a man that isn't scared to, and is capable of, cooking, cleaning, and looking after the children.  Name me one man that won't appreciate a woman that isn't scared to, and is capable of, working a job to support her family, fixing things around the house, and driving her kids to school.

Boy or girl, man or woman, we are all human and we are all individual.  We should treat our children as such.

So true on what you have said. I couldn't have said it better myself!!

My 16 yr brother has grown up with 2 sisters all his life and lots of girl toys around. He has turned out fine.  I have 2 young boys myself and they have access to the kitchen set, baby dolls , strollers etc. We have no problems with it at all. I sure take lots of pictures thou of the boys playing dress-up. etc.

This has been one of the best issue's for me on Minti!! Love your article and keep it up.

We have boy/girl twins so we have always had both dolls and cars etc in the house.  Matt will play with Sam's toys but always turns it into "boys" games and Sam is the same when she plays with Matts toys. 

I have a wonderful photo of when they were young and Matt is dressed up is Sam's fairy costume - just wait until it comes out at his 21st

Hugs

Jen

........my son grabs it and plays with it. Be it a car or a pram it doesnt matter. If he can push it around and make brmm brmm noises he is content. But then he goes of with his sisters and plays tea parties and puts headbands on his head. Kids are just that, kids. If they want to play with dolls or trucks whatever their gender is, it shouldnt be a problem.

i agree no to stereotyping.

In this day and age now all children dress up in different clothes i find that at my childminders the girls dress up as boys and vice versa.

Reilly is always puttin my high heels on and pretending that my bra is a hat and walking around with my handbag. i dont think this will affect him or his mind. I don't care if my son has a bright pink car does that mean he's right for playing with a car because its a boys toy but wrong because of it being the color pink which is associated to girls its rubbish.

My one year old boy loves dolls! And we took my five year old nephew to the store for his borthday and told him he could pick out ANY toys he wanted for his birthday. He chose a light up sword and a purple tea set. He also proudly told anyone that would look his way that he was getting a new sword and a new tea set. When we got home he opened the tea set first and insisted we come to his restaraunt. It was a great time. I think too many people get hung up on gender and their children miss out on so much. My son will have costumes and dolls and anything else he wants to give a try. Right now, while he still can, I want him to believe he can do and be anyything. Too often (and too soon) this belief is kicked out of our children. But while I can, I'm going to nourish this belief and stand back and watch it grow.

i don't see nothing wrong with boys playing with girls things and vice versa. But that's just me

Great Topic. We have three children- a girl now 13 and two boys (6 and 8). The middle child was a living doll for our daughter as he was born when she was 5. when he was a toddler she would even put make up on him, dress him up etc. When our third was due we bought our then 18 month old son an anotomically correct boy baby doll (we knew we were having another boy). This was great preperation for him and he would copy my actions with his new brother - bathing, dressing and feeding his baby.

Nowadays our 8 year old loves Karate, Football, Cricket, Basketball and playing 'Warriors, he also loves his bmx bike and roller blades, the skate park and climbing trees. He enjoys cooking and is a keen gardener. He loves animals and is fascinated by nature- a member of the junior field naturalists and is skilled on the computer. He reads and writes at a high level and is also a competant athlete with amazing balance and skills- he is sensitive and caring but can be just as loud and rowdy as the next boy. He rescues injured critters and wants a snake for a pet.

( all up a pretty well rounded sort of a kid i think).

The thing is he STILL loves that baby doll.... it really is like his baby- he will have months where he wont even think about it then he will come across it and out it will come- it will get wrapped in blankies and carried around - maybe watch telly (lol) and share a snack. It will have a special bed on his bed and is loved to death. (then it tends to fade into the background again).

When he was younger I bought a stroller for him and he would take the baby for walks. The thing is he STILL occasionally wants to take the baby doll for a walk. Now this is where I get a little uneasy - I have no problem with him playing with the doll - I just worry about the reactions of others and possible negative consequences for him if other boys a year or two older from his school see him out and about pushing a dolls pram. So i somewhat reluctantly have suggested that now he is 8 perhaps it is time to leave the doll at home - however occasionally he does carry it when we take the dogs for a walk in the evening.

Then recently i visited the school and noticed half a dozen 8 and 9 year old girls from my sons class playing with their baby dolls in the playground and I felt sad that I had put that barrier up for my son- even though I do feel it is probably avoiding potential bullying. So it raises a lot of mixed feelings with me now. Its an interesting subject though and there is no problem with him playing with his baby here at home.

Kinda tricky though. DH however finds the doll thing uncomfortable now  (he doesnt say anything to our son or stop him though) - although he didnt care when our son was younger - after about age 6 he started to look a bit uneasy lol.

My daughter loves her dolls and when she is at home plays with them alot, talks to them ,feeds them etc yet when we go to my sisters she plays with my nephews cars this has never troubled me and until now I don't think I have really thought about it. All play is good for children and to some extent I don't think that the toys are very important its more about who they are playing with and their imagination. There is only one kind of toy that I don't let Amy play with and thats guns and swords, I feel uncomfortable with children "playing" at violence.

Having a boy and girl so close together, they play cars together, dress up (in mummy's clothes) dolls, cooking, dragons, a real mix of different games, we wonder why our men don't grow up to be sensitive and nuturing.  Both boys and girls need a mix of games not just girls games and not just boys games. 

I am totally with you on this one Kristen!  It is important for us as parents to allow our very young children a variety of play experiences, even baby dolls for boys!  I bought a doll for our son a couple months before our daughter was born.  My husband was uncomfortable with this, but I explained that it would help with the transition.  He wasn't too interested in it, but after our daughter was born, he would sit with his baby and feed it while I fed her.  He cuddled, burped and fed his doll.  Soon he wanted to do the same for his sister and I have to say that the two of them have a bond that is absolutely amazing.  Complete strangers often comment on the way they get along and interact with each other.  Not all the time of course!  Letting boys play with dolls gives them a chance to practice nurturing skills.  I have to believe that boys who are allowed to explore this without criticism or negative comments by parents or caretakers will grow up to be nurturing fathers :)

i myself loved playing with boys toy although you couldnt get me into shorts it was skirts and dresses all the way...

Just a thought by telling them they cant do something wont they be more inclined to do it or at least try when they are older cause of the mystery and fuss made behind it?

So wouldnt it be better they played with these things now

My sons favorite toys are a big yellow Barbie car and a pretty pink flower pram... His sister so kindly gave them  to him...    Who does not like to dress up...   Kids are kids, a toy is toy and that is how they see it..   And he loves to push the broom around, while I vaccum, he even has a feather duster that I gave him because he always wants to play with it....   He loves his trucks to....  But hey if he is happy I am happy....

Love the article. Fantastic.

As a kid, I myself was into cops and robbers, climbing trees, and making space ships out of old chook houses.

I played with boy toys when I was younger. I even dressed like a skater(before I saw girls dressing like this i mean) when I was younger... I don't think theres a difference. I don't think I would care if my son(i dont have one but) played with girl toys.

There's this show.... It's called Yes, Dear and Sammy whos the son is going to be potty training soon and they go to the store to pick out underwear and Sammy goes for the Princess ones instead of the boy ones. Greg(the dad) was a little upset and wanted his boy to have the boy ones but then his wife said he likes that, so let him have it... So they buy it...

So there is no problem if boys play with girl toys or girls playing with boy toys... So I seem to think!