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Helping Toddler to Understand and Accept New Baby |
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by wildrose  (October 2006) (rank 45th) |
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I would like to share my experiences in letting my first child to understand and accept the concept of a new baby.
When the first time we planned to have the second child, my husband and I were also thinking what ways that we were going to do with
our first child who was 2.5 years old.
The thoughts were including:
- whether he was ready for sibling
- how to tell where the baby came from
- how he would cope with jealousy
Therefore, these were the things we have done to help my son to understand and accept his new sibling:
Before I got pregnant:
- I studied his development and intellectual for his age and found that he was quite independent (he understood all the words I have spoken to him, he did things I asked him to do, and he could played by himself without expected my full attentions)
- I asked him whether he would love to have a baby brother or a baby sister to play with (lucky that the answered was 'yes')
Pregnancy period:
- When I found out that I was 100% pregnant, my son and my husband were with me at my General Practice. We shared this beautiful moment together.
- When the first time I had my ultrasound check, I took my son with us as well. I let him to see the graphic on the monitor. Even though he did not understand what it was, I tried to explain that what he saw was the baby who grew in my tummy. We also included him in every ultrasound checks to see the baby growth in my tummy.
- We read him some children's book in relation to new sibling/baby. It did help him to understand about baby who grew in my tummy and how happy the rest of family would be, also what would happened after the baby born
- We let him touch my tummy, specially when the baby moved.
- We included him in the decision for baby's name (even though we only gave 2 favorite names to pick) and the baby shopping
- We let him said 'good night' to the baby sister in my tummy (note: we decided to find out the baby gender and picked the name before the baby born)
Birth day (and/or hospital days):
- That day would be an exciting and stressing day for everybody. Since I had to be in hospital at 6am to be ready for my c-section surgery, we had to leave my son at home with the help from my husband's mom and aunt. To keep his mind away from me and my husband that would left him in morning, we gave him a little present before we left. We told him that his gift from us for being such a good boy. It did help him to keep it busy while we were away.
- Later that day, after the baby born and I was back to my bedroom from surgery room, of course everybody would have their attentions to the new baby. The first time I saw my son, I showed his new sister and let him to give a kiss and gentle touch.
- The next day onward (still in hospital), every time he came to visit us, I gave him a little surprise I have prepared before I came to hospital. Since he liked cars, each day I gave him one car as his present from his sister. This to show him how thankful we were to have him with us everyday. I did work very well. He did not feel jealous or bored in every visiting days.
- When he was ready, we let him to hold the baby too (see photo). He was so excited. He was scared at first, scared to hurt his sister, but we made sure that she would be alright. He was so happy that he did.
First at home and onward:
- We tried as much as we could to let him help us in baby's routines (such as get the nappy/wipes, pick the clothes, washed the baby, etc)
We were glad that we did all of those. We all had beautiful times together. For parents out there who are expecting second baby, I am sure you have your own way to deal with helping your first child to accept the second. If not, give it a try what I have done before. Good luck!
