10 Self-care Essentials for Preserving Your Sense of Self After Baby

Becoming a mother is an all encompassing life change.  Often, in our efforts to keep this bundle of joy fed, changed and happy, we can easily lose sight of taking care of the mothership.  Almost every episode of feeling overwhelmed can be addressed with a little self-care and a nod to our pre-pregnancy days.  Here's a list of my personal save-all self care essentials for life after baby:

• Shower everyday.  Some of you do not need this peptalk, but I most certainly did!  It's easy in the chaos of transition to new baby to forget the simple joys of a daily shower.  Buy a nice smelling shower gel to give yourself a little decadence as you care for this body that has brought you so much joy via the little person beside you.  
  
• Clothes that fit.  One of the most debilitating things for postpartum women is a visit to the pre-baby section of your tiny bedroom closet.  Avoid the hassle (and the ensuing hysteria) and see if your local "buy everything" store has some nice "in between sizes" uniform to help you feel a little bit more like yourself.  Learn the beauty of the black yoga pants and their oh-so-forgiving qualities.  Buying clothes that fit in your size right now will give you the boost you need to look good while you're whittling the pounds away.  You'll feel even better when you're ready to pass your too big sized on to a friend just embarking on her self-care-after-baby trip.
  
• Sassy hair.  Just because you had a baby, doesn't mean you can't look good.  No need to cut it all off, just splurge a little for cut and color.  Updating your style helps you remember that underneath all this "mom" is the girl who can appreciate a nice salon experience.  Avoid the impulse to do anything drastic, just a little something to commemorate your new journey into motherhood.
  
• A good movie, book, etc.  Before I had my children, I loved to go to the movies--the more dramatic, serious or deep the better.  After I had my first baby, movies were still a possibility but I was too tired for the concentration required for films that make you think.  Instead of bemoaning my movie-less state, I decided to sink into my new station in life and indulge in all the mindless comedy I had missed during my smarty-pants single days.  Keeping something good in my Netflix queue, kept my mind going and I still felt a little bit like my moviephile self--even if it was Juliet Roberts on the screen instead of Juliette Binoche.  The point is to stay connected to your pre-kid diversions in one way or another.
  
• Phone time.  Everything's changed, but it's your old friends who remember the old you.  Indulge in a little chattime next time you nurse, and reconnect to the friends who know exactly how to make you laugh.  By connecting to your past, you'll have the grounding you need to take on your new role as a loving parent.
  
• New friends.  No one understands what kind of major adjustments you are making to become a parent like the people who are going through this same transition.  Check out playgroups, support groups, online forums (yay, minti!) and neighborhood parks to find the people who really understand what it means to be  you, at this moment in your parenting history.
  
• Sleep patrol.  Go ahead, be a little obsessive about sleep.  If you're not getting enough, everyone suffers, so you might as well take notice and start making the necessary adjustments.  Knowing how much sleep you need to feel like yourself is an important part of your strategy for feeling sane.  Check out the sleep suggestions in the linked advice below if this is your particular demon to conquer.
• Naked time.  No pressure here, and no one need be invited--babies and partners can wait.  But you need time to make peace with your new body.  Take some time to stretch, breath deeply.  Steal any fifteen minutes you can find to soak in a hot tub and let yourself feel the exact state of affairs for this moment.  It's okay to take inventory and acknowledge to yourself where you are feeling happy, triumphant, defeated, worried, scared or tired.  Let the tub be your tabernacle of personal truth-telling.
  
• An hour's peace.   An hour might as well be ten in the world of mothers of small children, but set it as a goal to steal 10 minutes here or there--especially when you are feeling disconnected. 
  
• Walk it off.  Do whatever it takes to see the sunshine or feel the fresh air.  A little bit of nature will restore your soul and refresh your body.  Take baby along and feel the energy return to you as you get your body moving.  Even a tiny bit of exercise will help you feel more like yourself.

What helps you stay connected to your sense of self when little ones demand attention day and night?  Please add you personal motherhood survival favorites in the comments below.

2006 copyright jenlemen