Depression and Counselling

You know what im talkin bout girls, what can I do to make him want me again? Its driving me insane! I need a sure fire way for him not to be able to say no. Any ideas? Male input would be really great too. Ta!

Hi, This question struck a chord as it reminded me of a period we went through after the birth of our third. Well actually it stems from the miscarriage I suffered between our second and third.

After the birth our lives spiralled downhill- there were other issues I might add ( severe money issues and health problems with the youngest as well as reflux and night terrors for the 20 month old...*smile* ) anyway, sex became an obligation and there seemed to be little or no affection etc.

We both became more and more tense, irratable and bad tempered. (In the end we ended up separating briefly - which i dont really recommend btw)

However - id just like to let you know what did help us.

DH went to the Dr for help and was diagnosed with depression. He received counselling and medication for that and as I sort of collapsed in a heap at that point- I did too.

We also started having marriage/relationship counselling. ( I had begged DH to do this before the separation but he refused - getting back together ..I made it a condition). This undoubtably saved our marriage as we learnt valuable communication skills and learned to find our what the other person actually wanted/needed/ felt etc. The course was termed "relationship enrichment' and was not actual marriage counselling per se.

We also found a brilliant financial planner/advisor and got our finances in order.

Id also strongly advise talking to a Dr if you have any sexual difficulties or concerns too. The reason I say this is that I was very badly torn after the birth and sex was painful - funnily enough I lost virtually all desire. I did go to a Dr at once and was basically just brushed aside. This has added to the problems we have had and I would urge anyone who experiences a similar reaction to seek out a more sympathetic Dr. I now have  another Dr.  I now suffer horribly from incontinence and will probably need an operation in the near future to correct this - it seems the damage that was done after the birth was never repaired correctly and perhaps if I had been more insistent we could have avoided a lot of physical and emotional pain and difficulties!

I hope this helps- but basically treat the core issues of the problem and work from there. And do it early. Good luck - Id hate anyone to go through the dark period of about 4 years that we did.