Why Routines Work for Me

There have been times when getting my children up and ready in the morning and getting them to bed at night have been the worst part of my day.  Can you identify with crazy mornings and bedtimes that take entirely too long?  There have been days when my girls have left for school crying because the morning has been so harried.  Most of those days they've taken their time getting ready or haven't known what to to next and we all end up rushed and frustrated.  Sometimes we have bed times that end with crying children and impatient parents.  I don't want to send my children to school or to bed with tears.  Whenever I have a day like this, I know it's because I've let my routines slide.  Routines are always posted somewhere visible.  Morning and before bed routines keep me and my family happy.

The reasons I need and post routines are:

My children know what to expect and so the temptation to push the limits is minimized.  When my girls know what they need to do before bed, they're much less likely to ask for an extra bed time story (to which I would might say no, and a fight begins), or start playing with their Barbies when they get out of bed in the morning (which I would have to coax them away from, another potential fight).  They also won't ask for another drink of water if they know the routine is to have a drink of water before they get into bed.  My hope is always that the routine becomes so ingrained that they just do it on auto pilot and I don't have to fight with them to get dressed, or make their beds, or brush their teeth.  I want to send my children off to school and to dreamland with only positive engery.

Potentially high stress times are positive (no nagging ).  I make sure the routines are posted somewhere so I don't have to nag my children to get them done.  I hate it when I'm constantly checking up on my kids and nagging them to get one task done and move on to the next one.  It makes me feel bad and I know it makes them feel bad too.  To avoid negative feelings I make a list of our morning and before bed routines and post them where my children can see them.  If I notice one of my girls has taken to playing with the dog, all I have to do is remind her to "finish her list."


It gives my children ownership of getting themselves ready for the day and ready for bed.  When the routines slip, or need revamping I sit down with my child and together we come up with all the things they need to do to get ready in the morning (or for bed).  Sitting down together encourages children to be active participants in getting themselves ready instead of obeying all of my commands.  They're proud that they can do it themselves.  And it gives them confidence, knowing that mom or dad trusts them to come up with a list of routines and follow them by themselves.

We do have days where the routines are more loosely followed, but for the most part sticking to our routines keeps us all on track and all happier.