ADVICE RATING |
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What do you mean I can't wear my glitter shoes and my pajamas to the supermarket? |
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by Kristen  (November 2006) (rank 28th) |
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The other day I met Derek at the park with Ethan. As I walked up to the swing set, I noticed that beneath his jacket, Ethan was wearing pajamas. At 4:30 in the afternoon. At the park. In public. Part of me wanted to laugh and part of
me wondered how many of the moms there had noticed (I'm sure all of them did). I asked Derek WHY Ethan was wearing his pajamas and Derek said that Ethan had asked Derek to put them on before they went to the park. You must admit that this is perfect male logic. I started to wonder what really bothered me about Ethan wearing his pajamas to the park. I mean, he was comfy and warm.
But what if one of the moms thought that I had just left his pajamas on in the morning? Or what if one of the moms thought that pajamas were my idea of good fashion? I remembered a friend who was really strict about what her daughter wore out in public. If those shoes didn't match her outfit, she was off to find something else for her to wear. The mom was worried that someone would think that SHE had picked out the purple top, the pink and orange pants and the Ruby Red Slippers to go the store. I mentioned it to my friend that I could almost PROMISE her that no adult in the entire world would think that. Everyone would know that your child (or perhaps your husband) had picked out that ensemble. It hardly reflects on your parenting (although jenlemen would say that it makes you a better parent for just letting your child express their own fashion sense and creativity) if your child doesn't match. But if it really bothers you, what can you do?
- Set limits. Your child doesn't need to "express" her painful sense of fashion at your cousin's wedding. It is perfectly reasonable to tell Princess that while she thinks the pink ballet slippers may look great with her yellow muslin dress, the black Mary Jane shoes are more appropriate for a wedding.
- Give lots of dress up opportunities. Find really crazy dress up clothes at yard sales, flea markets or in the back of your closet. If you provide your kids with an outlet to feed the inner "fashionista," you have more leverage when you just need to say "no" to wearing the bumble bee outfit to church.
- Set up your child's closet for "dress up clothes" and "going out clothes." Giving your child some autonomy by giving them choices for clothing that is appropriate will reduce the arguments before leaving the house.
- Only buy matching clothing. You laugh, but I had a friend that was so obsessed with matching that she just stuck to the boring colors. Her kids didn't have a lot of options otherwise. Sure they then spent loads of time trying all of Mom's and Dad's clothes from the clean laundry basket, but to her, this was a small price to pay.
It's all up to you. It's all about finding the balance that works for you and your children. Good luck.
