Many, if not most people, have never had to lead other people when they become parents.  That might be because you are young, have never had the opportunity or desire to be a leader.  However, being a mum and dad thrusts you into the role as leader from day

When watching Super Nanny, I am struck by how much her training revolves around building up the self-confidence and personal authority of the mother.  It's about taking herself seriously and making the children take her seriously.  Often the problem is that father is either not helping or directly undermining her efforts to define boundaries, discipline and develop her children.

What are the key teachings of the SuperNanny about leadership:

• Voice control - talk clearly, calmy, but with confidence.
• You can never let children break a rule, without disciplining them - Consistency
• You should balance discipline and demands with fun and cuddles - Tough but loving.  If you are tough without being loving, you don't create something positive that they don't like losing.
• Don't abuse your power - talk to children at the same eye-level.  Get down to them.  Be fair and admit when you make a mistake.
• Create rules and expectations that enable children to manage themselves.  Without rules and routines, you will have to tell your children what to do all the time.  With routine, the children can lead themselves.  The goal is self-leadership, even in children.
• Parenting is shared leadership which means that you must learn to back each other up.  You must be careful not to undermine the chain of command, especially you dads (or mums) out there that come home from work with a bad conscience about not having been with your children all day and don't read the situation, ask what you can do to help, and avoid undermining what is going on.  Dinner-time is a critical time in the home.  There is lotsof stress.  it is also a very important learning time for the children.  You might feel tired, but its important to show control and consistency at this time.  There is no excuse like I've heard: "I've had stress all day at work. I don't want to come home to a battlefield." 
• A bad conscience makes you a weak and inconsistent leader - you don't communicate clearly and your voice and body-language betray your inner state of mind.  If you don't believe it yourself, you won't convince anyone else.
• Being popular because you give kids what they want, is not the same as being respected.  The relationship between parent and child must contain reciprocity - that children are rewarded when they behave correctly.  Nor should they e over-rewarded for behaving correctly.

Parenting is all about management skills, like routine and rules, and leadership: respect, love and understanding between parent and child (boss and employee).  So you can learn a lot about leadership by trying to be a better parent, and you can apply your leadership skills in the house.

Wombat