When our daughter was very young she went through a stage where she was very self concious, nervous, shy and had low self esteem. I couldnt get her to talk much and she often would have tantrums or cry. Im not completely sure what caused it all, she had just

It was all happening while she was busily losing her baby teeth and the tooth fairy was working overtime.

DD left a note for the tooth fairy one night and the saga began.

The tooth fairy was duly named (by me) and started writing back. The gentle sweet and kind tooth fairy had amazing insight and seemed to know when things were getting DD down- she would leave little notes and sometimes little presents (maybe a flower or a pretty stone). She gave advice and reassured (Mummy and Daddy both love you etc), she built self-esteem (You are so clever- such a good writer - you have so many special talents and skills- you are unique and precious and so on) She even gave helpful advice - including a little 'magic ' (actually tips on how to relax - 'find your happy place'- ).

It became quite a project (esp as the writing had to be painstakingly done in a special intricate curly decorated script that i had decided looked 'fairy like' hahahha), but what a difference it made, this 'special friend' supported her and really cheered her up. (I was however careful not to use this as an opportunity to 'pry' but only to provide love and support - obviously she was going to find out one day that I was the tooth fairy! - occasionally of course I would gain insight into how she was feeling and why and naturally that was very helpful in guiding me to help)  Mainly the letters were just expansions of comments like "you seem a bit sad today - I just wanted to say how special you are"

It was one of those things which were unplanned and I never expected it to go on past the first "thanks for the note" letter.

(BTW we also accessed the school counsellor , which is a resource I recommend to anyone whose child is having any kind of problem- at home or school...)

Neither of the boys ever had a tooth fairy friend- maybe they didnt need one *smile* The middle child did write one or two letters (as he had heard all about this amazing magical fairy who was friends with his sister) but he really wasnt interested and couldnt be bothered writing when the tooth fairy regretfully informed him that 'no sorry she could not magically make him able to fly' , the youngest just wanted the money and that was that ;-)

Im glad to say that after DD learnt there was no tooth fairy she never resented the fact that I was in fact the magic letter writer and as it was years later when she realised , there were no problems at all - in fact she seemed to be really delighted that it had been me keeping up that magical communication. (I was always a little concerned that it might be an issue!)

It has become a lovely cherished memory, a part of her childhood that makes her smile, and Im glad i stumbled on an unusual but effective way of reaching a shy little girl.

I thought id share this in case someone else also finds it a useful way to encourage or support their child

x