Single Parents - When is it going to stop!

Hi Selly

I completely agree.  Check out my piece on Judgemental Parenting.  Keep on fighting the good fight.  You know your worth, it doesn't really matter what other's think.

All the very best.

I worked for 20 years with CEntrelink the fact is it is very rare that people become single parents for the money or even out of choice. Most are in this situation through no fault of their own. The statistics support t his opinion.... So to those ignorant people out there who slag off single parents - get the facts!!!

hi selly, i know you posted this ages ago but i just read it,

i was a single mum to my daughters  at the time they were 4 & 8mths my husband had passed away, i went to centrelink & after a few wks started receiving payments i left my job as i moved away from sydney to be closer to family,

after around 6 mths i had family members treating me like a bludger because i was a single mother this really makes me cranky as i was doing the job that it takes 2 people to do.

It amazes me just how much people feel the need to put others down and judge them.  You're feeling all this judgement cause you choose to stay home and look after your child.  While others suffer judgement cause they choose to use childcare and go to work.  They're not seen as being a real mother if they're not there 24/7.

I think if you let other people's opinion rule how you feel about yourself as a mother, you'll always feel bad.  Instead, just stand tall and see how your daughter is faring.  How she is doing is the real test of your decision and if she is thriving, you have every reason to feel proud of your efforts.

I too was a single parent raising two girls on my own. Yes I got pregnant young. However I did work full time as I had my family close by to help.  The benefit is there for people like yourself and I have no grudge against any single parents who need it.  Further more you are entitled to it.  Just because you are a single parent doesnt make you any lower class than anyone else in fact single parents are generally more resourceful, contribute  more to the local community and go through alot more than any normal parent would because you take on two roles of Mother and Father.

I wish you and your daughter the best and she is really lucky to have a loving mum like you.  I dont see you as a single parent even though you are i see you as an individual in todays society like anyone else.

Merry Christmas to you both.

YES i agree with you .Not all single persents are the same and once you say you are a single mum you are looked down on.My advice to you is not to worry about other thoughts on single mum,as long you are trying your best and your happy and that youare taking care of your child  and your dumping it every day on someoone else .MOST of all as long your happy in what your doing with your life everything should be fine even though its hard sometimes.

                            YOU already have plain to go back to work ,which means you are thinking a head for you and your child and a better life style

There is no need to think that you only got pregnant for the money and people who make these kind of sweeping statements are not worth your time.

The system in the UK is slightly different to yours but believe me people make the same assumptions. I am not a single parent and really don't know if I would cope if I had to do it without the support of my husband but I have a few friends who are and I know its hard not only to fill the roles of both parents but just to manage fianically, they all work full or part time and run a great home, I truly believe you all deserve medals.

Not all the single mothers I know are young.  Most are single because for some reason the man they trusted and loved had no interest in his own child or some bizarre synapse happened and caused him to leave.  Not because they were trying to twist the system. 

Most but not all, of the women i know are not in receipt of support and in the cases where there is parental contact from the father he doesnt know up from down or actually how to care for the child(ren). 

In my case he has actually DISOWNED her.  She is bright, cheerful and able.  She has no negative aspects to her personality or any of herself, no medical conditions etc. 

You are quite correct.  There are two sides to every story, but as with all things the one or two who do cheat the system ruin it for the rest of us.  I wish that society in general and men in particular would start accepting and taking responsibility for what is theirs. 

Of course it is not only men, some women do exactly the same to their men and there are single fathers out there who have had to drop careers as well and care for their children that have been dumped on them.  I had a good friend who was one such man, and he was (is) an amazing father. 

It is a can of worms and it is a lot of food for thought, but it is not all negative.

Peace
EF.x