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ADVICE RATING |
 4.56 (Highly recommend) from 11 votes (435 Visits) |
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**Starting School** Did you hate School? How can you help your child have better experiences than you did? |
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by mrsbrown4701  (November 2006) (rank 112th) |
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- I found this information whist researching another topic, and thought it a good topic to post here. I have edited it to be more in my words, and more applicable to us here but have not changed the meaning of content at all...
 Simply asking yourself this question means you're on the right track. It shows that you understand how tough school can be and that you're conscious of how parents can pass on negative attitudes to their children. One of the most difficult things for parents to do is to separate their childhood from their child's life. We (often subconsciously) tend to think they will experience things just as we did. But it's important to know, as a parent, that our feelings are ours and only ours. Our children might feel something similar, but their experience is going to be different.
When you notice your own emotions rising as your child enters school or has difficulty, be aware, because your emotions may interfere with your ability to help your child solve his problem. Find someone (a friend, a counsellor or another parent) to listen to as they talk about their feelings regarding their child's school experiences. Talk with another adult about what happened to you in your childhood that might be related to what your child is going through, and how you felt when you experienced something similar. Don't do this in front of your child, though; these are your feelings, and it won't help your child if he has to worry about them. We all need a chance to be fully heard on the things we never had enough time to tell anyone about, or things that are hard for others to understand. Sometimes parents really need a good cry when their child is going off to school or when their child has a difficult incident with a teacher. Parents should all have a "good listener" friend and feel pleased with themselves if they can have a good laugh or a good cry while telling that person about their feelings and experiences.
After you've done that, let your child know that you will listen to everything he wants to tell you. As long as we stand by our children, ready to listen to the things they find difficult, then even when they feel upset with school, if they have a place to laugh and cry and talk about what happened, the feelings won't stick with them. You need to know that one difficult day for your child, or even a series of difficult days, doesn't mean that she is going to develop the same negative feelings that you did. They won't, as long as you're there to listen, to play with them, to help them cry about things that are hard, and to help them think about ways to handle them.
Having you as an ally makes a big difference in how a child copes with the challenges in their life. You have the chance to take an active part in making school a good experience for them and to help them deal with the hard parts of school. After all, there are always going to be hard parts. The fact is, children can heal from the hurts that they get and from the difficult times they have, as long as someone will listen and allow them to express their feelings. 
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4.56 (Highly recommend) from 11 votes |
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 Related keywords: challenges, childhood, copes, counsellor, difficult, emotions, experiences, feel, feelings, happened, hate, hurts, listen, listener, parent, parents, school, solve, starting, subconsciously
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