Ok- quick poll-
hands up who's afraid - or at least a little freaked out - by spiders?
As parents we do pass on our fears to our children, sensible survival technique for the little ones after all - if Mum is scared of this it must be
TERRIFYING- RUN!
Unfortunately the message we are passing on is often irrational.
Is Arachnaphobia sensible?
Here in Australia we do have two deadly spiders and another that may cause necrosis (skin death) around the bite in some people , as well as a couple more that can give a pretty nasty painful bite although are rarely a problem. However in general spiders are just catching insects and minding their own business.
In our own home we have at least one Huntsman spider living in the house at any given time, although they tend to wander back outside before long or they get a bit too friendly and one of us will put it out ! The babies often come in to moult.
There is a wolf spider that hunts around the computer (for some reason the monitor attracts flies) another on the lounge room light (it cleans up the bugs attracted by the light) and a little family in the toilet (to get the insects that come through the little louvre window.) Our front porch is home to some magnificent spiders of various varieties and although they creep me a little sometimes they are fascinating to watch and are catching the mosquitoes that would annoy us on summer evenings.
The garden is decorated with St Andrews cross webs and tiny colourful jewel spiders in their communal web.
An acceptable creature
The kids have grown up with spiders as an acceptable creature, when a huge black funnel web spider (no not the deadly sydney variety- our local southern species which is less of a threat!) appeared when we moved a pot (in summer the males come out of their burrows to look for a lady friend) the kids gathered round at a respectful distance and exclaimed over it in awe.I just couldnt catch that one- I did put a jar over it though DH calmly got it in the jar and it was duly released in some scrub.
Stay CALM
When I was writing the article about dealing with children with 'something in their eye' I emphasized the importance of staying calm.
Then i realised the 'calm thing' works with anything ; if we are not to instill irrational phobias in our children it is important to try and stay calm with things which we may actually be afraid of ourselves ( perhaps dogs, snakes, spiders, water/swimming,) When I was born my mother worked hard to overcome her fear of dogs (having been bitten as a child she wouldnt go near them) and bought a puppy so I could grow up familiar with animals. (It worked so well Mum now is a great dog lover and her and dad have never been without one or two ever since!)
Dealing with Phobia
Spiders are a great example though and a common phobia. My daughter can catch Huntsmen spiders and pop them outside - at her age i would refuse to go in the room with one (presumably because I had learned that reaction from my arachnaphobic mother!) Boy did I work hard on that fear as I didnt want to pass it on! Once I got caught out when a spider ran up my arm as I opened the car door. I screamed and leapt around trying to brush it off. The kids gazed at me in bemusement. "Whats wrong?" asked the middle child crouching down to view the dislodged and ruffled spider before it ran away, "its only a spider!".
"Yes I know that now" I improvised quickly - "I just saw the movement and got a fright as I didnt know what it was...." "But what did you think it was?" enquired the youngest in a puzzled voice.....Argghhhhhh!
Try to put your fears aside and teach your children sensible behaviour around the object of your own fear- or that you believe may be a potential fear for them. With spiders teach them where the dangerous ones may be lurking and to check under a log or rock before picking it up while playing. Tell them not to pick spiders up but also point out the beauty of their webs or the amazing multiple eyes they have, explain how they make webs or point out their markings. Teach them respect for other living creatures and how to find the beauty and wonder in something.
My poor mother would shudder and gasp at the sight of a spider- backing away and making horrified noises and that fear built in me so that I would run screaming! I couldnt sleep if a spider was suspected to be in the room (id need to see a body before id believe it was gone)
So I did make a conscious effort to control my fear- and you can do it with your fears too.This is what I did (I wasnt following any special program but this just slowly occurred as I worked up to it. Now having completed a psychology degree i know that this is a classic behavioural technique and widely used).
- Become familiar through pictures (yep just looking at photos - there are some great books)
- Watch videos (again some good natural history stuff around)
- Observe the real thing (from a distance)
- Find a safe example and watch it from near by (through a window for instance)
- STeel yourself and dont react by yelling or retreating when the 'real thing' is actually in front of you.
- Practice- get close as often as possible and breath deeply and slowly
- Put up a picture of the 'scary' thing (on the fridge for instance) and look at it often
- Start noticing details (both in the picture and the real thing- colour shapestructure)
- Learn to appreciate it and focus on breathing slowly and deeply.
Here is a great online resource
http://www.amonline.net.au/spiders/
BE SENSIBLE
These techniques will RETRAIN your reaction so that you are able to handle yourself in a controlled manner and demonstrate sensible behaviour to the 'object of fear' when the kids are watching you......I still have to bit my tongue if a spider appears unexpectedly or if I find a Huntsman on my chair etc - but I take a deep breath (and tell myself its ok!) and take control again.
It is not sensible to teach kids to have no fear of spiders at all of course as they could try and pick up a dangerous one - they need to know that these are creatures to be treated respectfully but that we do not need to FEAR them.
FIRST AID
If the worst should happen and a bite occurs, please dont panic- no deaths from spider bite in Australia have occured since the widespread availability of antevenom.
Those most at risk are those with a heart condition as well as the elderly and the very young.
If you can - catch the spider for possible identification. Funnel web, Mouse spiders and Trapdoor spiders are often confused and hard to tell apart at a glance -seek medical help for a suspected dangerous bite.
(For Australians)
A Sydney Funnel web bite or Mouse spider bite should be bandaged firmly (like snake bite) Initial symptoms after a bite include local pain, mouth numbness, vomiting, abdominal pain, sweating and salivation http://www.amonline.net.au/factsheets/funnelweb.htm
HOWEVER
A Red-back spider bite should
not be bandaged. Apply an ice pack. Common early symptoms are pain (which can become severe), sweating (always including local sweating at bite site), muscular weakness, nausea and vomiting. http://www.amonline.net.au/factsheets/redback.htm
For most spider bites no first aid other than a cold pack is required. DO NOT cut the wound or apply a tourniquet.
Take care, stay calm and act sensibly.
(November 2006) (
