Do you remember.....
Can you remember how you felt when you found out that bacon and sausages and meat pies and other yummy treats were in fact the nice cows and sheep and pigs. The same ones that we cuddle at the animal nursery at the show and that feature so strongly as cute adorable characters on children's stories?
I can remember. I don't know how old I was but I know I was upset.  I couldn't believe it! All those neat packages in the supermarket were ANIMALS!!!!!!

My Mum felt it best to shield me while I was very young from the 'awful truth' (meat is animals) and she is by no means unusual - It is a common decision.

I firmly and calmly let my kids know from day one that meat was from animals and that many people do eat meat- just like lions and tigers do. No nasty surprises- no 'right or wrong'- just the facts.

I have had several mothers genuinely shocked that I let little ones know what they are eating and I have watched them carefully hide the truth from their own brood.

Which way do you lean yourself- and why?

Honesty
Personally I think it is better to be open and honest and give children the facts - not just about meat but about various issues (religion, where babies come from ,mortality, danger). I dont suggest piling too much information onto a child at once of course- but gradually as they are ready  or ask questions building their understanding.
(This is from someone whose youngest is all excited because Santa comes next month....and who employed the tooth fairy as a mentor ;-)

I dont feel resentful or believe Mum was wrong for making the choice to shield me when I was very young. I was a very sensitive child and maybe I was better off in my ignorant bliss. However I do know it was very distressing when I did find out (I also bawled my eyes out when I found out Santa wasnt real- I had lost a hero).

So is it better to be honest and straightforward from the start and let kids know the way things are? Or is it better to create a warm fuzzy fantasy land for our tinies?

Opinions will always be divided on this one, and there is no black and white answer. Obviously I myself walk a middle road - on one hand presenting reality of everyday life and on the other embellishing with fairies and Santa and the Easter bunny.

Our daughter was born in the suburbs or Melbourne by the way ; but we lived on a farm from the time our daughter was three until she was 10. Both our boys were born while we were farming. Other friends who were also farmers chose to hide the truth from their kids. So where we lived and our occupation had no bearing on the decision to come clean about meat

So what happened?
So how did my choice of presenting the facts about meat affect my children?

All three were unfazed until about 4 or 5. They didnt really seem to believe that those little plastic packets of red stuff were cute farm animals anyway or they would giggle "Im eating a pig" as they nibbled on a piece of bacon. Quite frankly I dont think it would make much difference whether they knew the truth or not at this age!

However between 4 and 5 (the kindergarten/ first year of school) all three  suddenly "realised".
Im not sure if there is a gaining of maturity at this age which enables them to finally make the connection and perhaps feel compassion and an understanding for the process which has turned a living animal into a meal.

My daughter at four- stated firmly that she was now a vegetarian. We have several vegetarian friends and I often go through 'vege phases' of months or even years.
I explained that that was fine by me but that she would have to eat lots of fruit, vegetables, beans, cereals and so on for her body to grow properly. I told her if she was serious we would get  advice on proper nutrition for her. She was and we did.
I think she stuck at it for 3 months. Eventually she asked for a pie for her lunch order at school. I agreed and gently reminded her that this was made of a cow. She nodded "Yes I know but I am going to eat some meat."

Now she eats a wide range of foods although she has maintained a compassionate caring nature towards other living creatures.

The middle child made the same statement but as he hates vegetables his Vegetarianism lasted one day. He occasionally expresses sadness that we eat meat and fish but consoles himself that so do bears, dogs, cats etc.

The youngest was a little more subtle - he was suddenly "not hungry" or "felt sick" or "had tummy pains", when presented with his favourite meal of roast chicken or sausages. On careful investigation he eventually blurted out tearfully "I dont want to eat the little animals Mum!"

Whats best?
In conclusion I dont think it matters whether they know from the start or not ; if they are going to protest they will at some stage. Its up to you to decide what suits you best and when and how you will phase in the truth if you decide not to tell from the start. I would strongly advise against telling them it comes from somewhere else though ("sausages come from the sausage tree" is just going to confuse them. "Meat comes from the Butchers" may be enough to start off with though).

I am happy and comfortable with the fact that meat was never a mystery but others who make the opposite choice are just as positive about it.
All three of my children 'protested' at the 4 to 5 age and all of them now comfortably eat meat.

Some children are not fazed at all and may barely comment, a few will be extremely distressed and the rest fall somewhere in the middle.
How it is handled from there when it does come to the point of 'realisation' is a matter for careful consideration.

• If you decide to allow a vegetarian choice- research Nutrition- get advice.
• Be respectful of their feelings. (instead of 'thats just silly" perhaps "I understand that you feel sad- and thats normal but our bodies need protein to grow.Lots of animals need to eat meat.)
• Praise them for their compassion
• Normalise their feelings (its ok to feel that way- im glad you told me)
• Try not to force the issue- esp if they are upset (demanding "You MUST eat your meat" may not be the best response". Talk about alternatives or about other meat eaters and be gentle but firm.)

A child acknowledging these feelings about eating meat is growing in awareness and ability to feel for others. It is a positive thing and if handled gently, hopefully will not create too many difficulties. Perhaps you could direct these emotions towards caring for animals through a "pointful gift" (sponsoring an endangered species through WWF for instance.)

Good luck
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