A NAPPY on his Head ;Those embarrassing comments kids make.

From the mouth of babes....
When our daughter was four we travelled overseas for 3 months. We had a great time but the moment that remains unforgettable was when our little girl- riding on her daddys shoulders, spotted a man wearing a turban. "MUMMY!" she shrieked , laughing excitedly
 "Oh Mummy- look... there's a man with a NAPPY on his head!"
Oh my.... I just wanted to dive into a nearby doorway .
"Shhh honey" I muttered and forced a weak smile. But DH is much taller than me and was a few paces in front. Dear daughter, riding high with her perfect view, didnt want me to miss the spectacle

"MUMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY....why does he have a NAPPPPPYYYYYY on his HEAD!?".

Thankfully the gentleman who was the object of this attention just caught my eye and smiled gently,at this point I managed to overcome my embarassment and answered her.

•  "No love he doesn't have a nappy on his head- its called a turban and it is a special kind of hat that some men wear."
•   Unfazed DD eyed me thoughtfully. "well it LOOKS like a Nappy to me!".
•  "Ok well thats fine, but if you do see something strange please don't shout it out- some people will get very sad and you might hurt their feelings if you point at them and yell out things about them."
• "oh...........are you sure its not a nappy?"
• "Its not a nappy- but even if it was we don't yell about it. It not nice to do that."

The things kids say.
Kids will come out with some amazingly inappropriate statements and questions in their innocent pursuit of knowledge.  At some time or another you are bound to encounter one of those cringe comments delivered from the mouths of babes. Which at times can be difficult to deal with in a positive and useful manner.

Over the years we have heard all sorts of gems from all three of our kids - usually delivered in a nice big loud clear voice. 'Look at the lady with the funny hair- see her MUM? - Why doesnt she fix it?',' the man with only one arm- what happened to him?', 'the baby with the 'yucky sticky eyes-whats wrong with it?', 'the kids that looks weird- dont you think?', 'the man who's voice sounds funny- hahahah- did you HEAR that ?', 'why does she walk like that?- LOOK', 'he smells- cant you SMELL him?', 'she has yucky breath- why ?' and so on.

Ive sent empathetic glances to Mums fielding similar comments from their own littlies and gratefully received them from others when my little darlings have pointed out something noteworthy.

What to do?
Its ok- just answer. From experience trying to shush them doesn't work (they want to make sure you havent MISSED it and often they want an answer) and its not very constructive anyway. Try to ignore your own feelings of embarrassment and answer in a quiet calm manner.
For me personally- it depends on the comment and the circumstances as to exactly how I reply. Thankfully mine are now past the ' yell out ' stage ( they may occasionally nudge and whisper - but for that they just get a reprimand - it 's different from a very young childs naive comments!)

However when those moments arose, personally - I found it worked best to
 

• Apologise (If the person has heard a simple quick 'sorry' lets them know you respect their feelings)
• Acknowledge (briefly let the child know that you are aware of the situation- otherwise they will probably tell you AGAIN- LOUDER. "Yes I know"
• Instruct (Remind or explain what is appropriate - "Its not nice to yell things out and/or point at people- it can make them sad and hurt their feelings."
• Explain (A short comment is all thats required. "Sometimes babies get sore eyes, his Mum and the Dr  will look after him" "I dont know how that man lost his arm, he may have had an accident."
• Finish (Firmly end the conversation- this is NOT the time for a discussion on the topic!)

Later it is appropriate to go into more details- reinforce the message that it can make people unhappy if you talk about them and point out things or laugh. Then you can talk about what it was that caught the childs attention and encourage discussion and provide them with information appropriate to their age and development.

Stay calm- its alright.
In short- its ok for the child to be curious. The others persons feelings should be respected but also acknowledge your child. Getting angry and flustered and trying to silence the child rarely works out- they get confused and often  the situation gets worse. Take the opportunity to reinforce appropriate social behaviour and briefly give a polite answer.
Later explore the topic and talk about the right way to treat people.
 "Everyone is different" and "Imagine how you would feel" are great classic phrases to fall back on

Good luck and Relax!