The holidays are coming and now's the time to get together with all the family.  Yippee, right?  Probably only 1 in a million people raise their children the way their family or their partner's family raised them, so how do you deal with the stress of parenting differently and

• Don't take it personally.  Even if it is personal, it is your choice how you are going to react if your mother-in-law complains about how your child isn't potty trained by now and how your spouse was trained by this age.  Your in-laws had their chance and now you have yours.  Everyone is entitled to an opinion but just because someone doesn't agree with yours doesn't mean you are doing it wrong.  Occasionally someone will say "you are doing it wrong" and that might be tough to hear.  You can agree to disagree but it may just be best to blow it off and realize that you are only with the family a short time and some battles can't be won.
• If something is important to you, you have to be vigilant.  If you don't want your child to have ketchup and marshmallows for breakfast, make that very clear.  You may even have to write it down.  That doesn't mean that Grandpa is going to listen but it does raise the chances of having your children eat the way YOU want them to eat on vacation.  Also, if it is important to you, you have to take responsibility that your desires are met.  Some people may find it unreasonable that you won't let your child have ice cream for breakfast so you may have to be the one who makes breakfast for your kids.  Don't expect anyone else to do it your way.
• Letting down your guard doesn't have to be permanent.  Dad told his mom that he didn't want Ethan to eat McDonald's but she gave him McDonald's anyway.  Just remember that your child won't die from one order of Chicken McNuggets.  It may be the death of you just to have to witness it and you may even be subjected to the bizarre twist of Grandma complaining at meal times that your child doesn't eat (because she has been plying your child with bad food all day long), but in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter. 
• Stick together.  If you and your spouse are not on the same page, you might just go crazy.  Decide ahead of time what matters to you both and if you are going to be a united front.  There is nothing worse than when one parent takes a stand and the other backs down under pressure and in front of family.  You don't want to be the only bad guy and you may just want to let more slide if you are the only one who really cares. 

Just some tips for survival with the fam.  Remember that you get to choose how to react and sometimes it's better to choose the path of least resistance.  You can almost always win a battle but sometimes it's just not worth it if there is no chance to win the war.  Good luck.