Separation Anxiety

My daughter is 11 months old and I have been working full time since she was 7 months old. My husband (her dad) looks after her during the day. Since I have been back at work, she hasn't exhibited any signs of separation anxiety - either when I leave for

work or when my husband leaves her alone with me. I read today that lack of separation anxiety means that a child doesn't have good attachment to their parents. Is this the case?

I worked with my first 3 children and it wasn't really until they were about 12 months - maybe more - that they had any separation worries.  My son was the worst (baby no 3). He was very clingy but again not till he was a bit older.   Also my kids went to daycare at 15 months and it really wasn't until then that they made much of a fuss.  Believe me it will happen and when it does it rips your heart out so make the most of it while she isn't crying!

Your daughter probably loves to spend time with you alone and your husband alone because she gets so much more one on one attention.  Sometimes we see something as a problem with our kids when really it is just us worrying without any real reason.  

You obviously need to - or like to - work and you need to know that you are doing the right thing.  It is so important that you don't make yourself feel guilty about leaving her as it might be this reason that you feel like there is a problem.  I know when I went back to work it was because I had to.  We just would not have coped if I didn't and I used to make myself feel so guilty that it would make me so sad. I also felt that other people were condemning me for leaving my kids and that made me create problems too.

I hope that this has been some help to you - even though there are not too many suggestions of what to do but just encouragement that you are doing the right thing.  I'm sure that many more people will comment and give some more helpful suggestion.

Keep your spirits high.  Your daughter does love you!!